Do you think people can lose themselves in relationships?

Question

The question was inspired by “Fade into you” song by Mazzy Star♥️

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yes , they can lose themselves in a good way or bad way , the good way is fine, but a bad way isn’t , some people fall in love with the wrong person and are blind sided by it , not realizing their partner is making them look like a fool behind their back , basically leaving them clueless, making them think everything is ok when clearly it isn’t , if you tell them what their partner is doing behind their back, they are sometimes in denial and think you are just trying to stir the pot , A bad partner is someone that talks down about you behind your back to their friends’ or whoever , they feel like they have you wrapped around their little finger and can do whatever they want behind your back , like flirt or hook up with other people they have no respect for you , they just like what they are receiving from you when it’s convenient to them. Why I don’t stay with girls’ that treat me like a convenience, if I am not her priority she won’t be mine , when my ex started to treat me like a convenience , I eventually saw right through her bullshit and ended it with her. Someone that truly loves you isn’t going to write Sucker on your head without you realizing they are , they will wear your shoes the same way they want you to wear theirs , otherwise that relationship is a waste of time

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Absolutely.

I did that superbly for my first long term relationship. I managed to be full blown butterflies love for eight months straight, day and night. It made me relatively unable to follow lessons, I overinvested, sentimentally, this relationship to the max you can think of.

Then one day she broke up, I fell apart instantly and I couldn't recover. I didn't know why I couldn't back then, because I didn't have the tools to realize that the way I loved her was extraordinary, but not in the good sense of it.

I needed love so much that I delved in forgetting my whole balance. But of course I could not know that, this concept was unknown to me at that time, as well as the core parts of my psychology

queenofcardio · Accepted Answer

Ohh definitely. Sometimes it’s really subtle too. You start tolerating things you once said you’d never tolerate just because you’re with him. At first, you tell yourself it’s fine “just this one time,” but then one time turns into many more because you’ve convinced yourself it’s okay. Before you know it, it’s too late and you barely recognize yourself anymore.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Oh for sure. I know I did in my first and only relationship. I began to put all of myself into him and neglect a lot of things and people in my life for him. I became codependent on him and it just became very unhealthy. I will never do that again.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode all the messy, beautiful, chaotic relationship stuff with you 💋

Yes, people totally lose themselves in relationships. It happens when you make them your whole identity, ignore your own needs, hobbies, values, and keep peace instead of setting boundaries. It feels romantic at first, then turns into emptiness. Healthy love doesn’t erase you, it amplifies you.

ohsheeT · Answer

Are you talking about in a good way or a bad way I would hope you mean good way because yes and I think that's beautiful thing especially if both are losing themselves at the same time that's a part of love that's a part of growing that's a part of becoming one

But if you're talking about losing yourself because you're believing in your partner and your partner's no good and is doing things for all the wrong reasons and they lose themselves and they cannot see that then that's bad thing

Calyptomaniac · Answer

People can lose themselves in work, or relationship, or their hobbies. Relationships are the easiest because too many people pretend to be something they're not to fit in with their partner, or they feel the need to change to appease them, or be what they think they would like instead of who they are. The relationship becomes their identity more than their own. It happens all the time...

Still-alive · Answer

As a once anxious preoccupied attachment type yeah for sure as it has happened to me. so thats why i stress boundaries not just for her but to prevent myself from slipping too. i feel more secure but i think i could easily slip back into anxious territory easily without those boundaries.

InknKink · Answer

I think it's more common than not for people to loose themselves when in a relationship and it will almost always come to bite them in the arse.

Eventually, the intensity and fixation fades and when people then begin to rediscover themselves, they loose touch with each other and break.

I believe it's best to keep some level of separation and independence within a relationship; never make someone your entire world.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow, Mazzy Star is older than you. Sorry it just always boggles my mind when a younger person references my generations music. Especially a more obscure band like Mazzy Star.

Anyone can lose themselves in a relationship if they don't know their boundaries. I've learned to define my boundaries over the years. But i've never learned to love someone halfway. So, if you can figure out how to do that and still be genuinely commited to someone tell me how it's done.😂

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, it happens, but it’s not a sign of weakness or immaturity. It’s a sign that the relationship dynamic has overshadowed the individual.

Spencer10 · Answer

Oh without doubt. I have seen friends begin to lose their sense of who they are and their ability to think rationally.

bowenw · Answer

Yes people can get wrapped up in trying to live up to the other person's idea of a perfect partner.

Cutegirl06 · Answer

Yes! Especially if they don't have a clear sense of who they are and have no boundaries between themselves and the other person. Basically they have no real sense of self.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, I dated somebody who came from an affluent family. I really was overwhelmed by her and part of it was because she lived this great lifestyle with fancy college and sports cars and maybe i was hoping some of it would rub off on me.

Twodogs0525 · Answer

When I would start a new relationship and things were going extremely well, she was usually on my mind throughout the day. It was the same when we had problems. Yes, people definitely can.

Darcey · Answer

I had a friend who would only hang out when she was single. Got tired of it and didn't want to waste my time being with a friend like that.

I ended it. Every few years she tries and says hi to me but I can't be bothered.

sawno · Answer

They can especially if they aren't strong personalities but instead depend on the other for their validation.

yellowsombrero · Answer

Yes, I have done this. Would not recommend.

jshm2 · Answer

No.  Often it's about survival

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Yes, if they don't have a strong personality.

SandraintheSand · Answer

Most definitely. Losing yourself is kind of part of it. The only thing is that if it's a healthy relationship, you lose yourself but always gravitate back to yourself when you need it

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Unfortunately yes I did it a few times. You lose sight of yourself and your goals trying to get them ahead

Anonymous · Answer

I have seen guys losing themselves and becoming beggars. Losing there life after love.

I don't know of any women on that stage but I have seen women mostly recover from the pain.

Guys lose there sanity much easier.

Shawnmccoy · Answer

Weak needy people with esteem issues, absolutely.

MrChinaski · Answer

Love that song.

_Jenny_ · Answer

@elenaseluna yes of course

strateguy632 · Answer

people can't

WhitneySnow · Answer

Sure. They can.

RageBabe · Answer

Absolutely.

MereAnarchy · Answer

More commonly without relationships.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Absolutely..

LiamJHayden · Answer

Of course. Happens frequently.

Cidknee · Answer

They do all the time. That's the enchanting part.

jimbob70 · Answer

Think so

oldman26 · Answer

It can happen

Do you think people can lose themselves in relationships?

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