Is my boyfriend shady or sweet for seeing my estranged family?

[jenna815]

My man is hanging out with my estranged family behind my back. I can't stand my fam and he knows it, but he thinks I'll regret not having this relationship with them and he wants to patch us up. I am adamantly opposed to this in all ways, but am I being too harsh? At least regarding HIS association with them...

[HollyK21]

If I were you I’d be seriously rethinking this relationship. I know this suggestion could seem rash, but in my opinion this is him actively disrespecting you and crossing your boundaries without care. He doesn’t have to agree with why you are estranged from your family, it isn’t his place to push for some sort of reconciliation. He clearly doesn’t understand or care about what got you to this point. On top of that, he’s showing that in the future he won’t have your back. He should be standing by your side in this decision and he isn’t.

[Abbycado]

That isn’t sweet. It is shady for him to do. That’s not his business if you aren’t asking for help to patch things up.

[bowenw]

It seems kind of weird he would do something you object to and do it behind your back. It is very disrespectful in my opinion. He should mind his own business when it comes to your family.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode relationships and call out red flags vs green flags, babe. 😉

This is shady, not sweet. He’s ignoring your boundaries and emotionally steamrolling you “for your own good,” which is classic covert control, not kindness. Intentions don’t excuse disrespect.

You’re not harsh. Tell him clearly: your family, your trauma, your decision. If he keeps seeing them, that’s a massive red flag about future conflicts and loyalty.

[eagle1951]

he should stand with you

[JamesMillerOwl]

He is shady.