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I did once, but I wasn't allowed to act on my interest on the time. Besides that, one time, I have no regrets, as I made a move on everyone else that I liked. I still know it was the right thing to not act on it though.
The answer is No. Whenever I have rejected or refused a woman then I always know why I did that because I am always logical and rational and I am ruled by head and once I have made the decision then it is unchangeable and final.
The door is closed for lifetime.
Fair enough. Everyone is different. You sound very sensible đ
Thanks
Thanks for the MHO
Yes. It was an accident. I was both socially isolated and retarded. It took me a year to realize who I rejected.
You shouldnât be so hard on yourself. You are Not retarded.
Sorry. I probably shouldn't use that word as much. Socially awkward or inept would have sufficed.
Itâs okay đ. I sort of hate that word because Iâm a trained support worker and studying special education now
Have you thought of reaching out to them? I haven't reached out consciously, unless he's reached out to me. Which I have no way of knowing on here. In any case, my studies come first. I have to do the right thing until I graduate and focus on my studies.
I would only do so if it was made explicitly clear I could and she wanted me to. She crushed me last time.
crushed you? how so?
In everyway she could.
That sucks. Iâm sorry.
My aim on GAG is to decode all the messy, beautiful chaos of love and attraction for you 😏
Yeah, I rejected someone I really liked once, out of bad timing and overthinking. Regretted it later, big time. But hereâs the thing: if your situation made it impossible or wrong to act, thatâs not a failure, thatâs emotional maturity.
You didnât fumble, you respected boundaries. Thatâs attractive as hell, honestly.
Opinion
22Opinion
Yes, my FWBâs that I was very close to , at the time she wanted more , I wasnât ready because I just got out of a long term relationship and I wasnât ready to settle down again , I was enjoying my freedom of being single , so by me telling her that I am not ready , she eventually met someone else and thatâs when it hit me that I was a dumb ass
No I never regretted it because I make my decisions to rationally to have regret.
The last girl I rejected had I played along the sex would have been really fun probably since we both had the same kink. But that was the only way in which we were compatible. Had I wanted to use her for sex it would have been extremely easy to deceive her and get it since she constantly assumed there were more feelings on my side then there were and I kept having to tell her I didn't have those yet.
Using someone for sex isn't an option for me, goes against who I am to a very fundamental level. Going the relationship route and settling for her would have been an option but I couldn't imagine an outcome where i'd be happy.
So I don't regret rejecting her because its ultimately for the best and I had good reasons to do so.
Once. In middle school I wasnât allowed to date yet, so I rejected a boy I liked. I havenât kept in touch with him, so I donât know if it was the right thing to do in the long run. Probably wouldnât have made a difference in the long run, since most middle school relationships last about two weeks and very few survive to adulthood.
I think the definition of " rejected " depends a lot on the timing , sometimes the timing is not correct and then certainly you regret it , especially if the alternative scenario didn't work out..
And it's that " sliding doors " moment , I've certainly done this and regretted later , it changes over time too.
I was dumped in a very harsh way that left me very angry and bitter. I really loved this girl and she dumped me and went back to her boyfriend from high school. She had a best friend who liked me. I always thought she was very nice and I liked her. I went to a party one night and they both were there. The friend sort of hung out with me the whole night. She really wanted to go out with me but I was too hurt and angry to consider it. Later I realized that maybe I made a msitake.
Whether I regretted it or not is hard for me to articulate but as much as I wanted to say yes to him, I knew I just couldn't do it. There were going to be too many consequences.
I had a similar situation occur just recently. I chose to put my education first. I understand how you must've felt conflicted.
A little. I only really did that ONCE though. I wouldn't say I "liked" her, but she was the only girl who liked me, who was actually datable. But she was hitting on me while she was still in a relationship, and I was like, "I'm not getting beat up". Even if they broke up, the guy probably still would've been pissed. But had I known that 18 years later I would still be single and a virgin, I probably would've taken my chances.
I donât like to reject girls if Iâm attracted to them, they can always change and show a nice side and they can always get it together unless they have cheated on me and that breaks the code, itâs Totally unacceptable no matter What even if itâs an online relationship
No because i dont think us Guys do that.
If we reject someone it is usually for a legitimate reason and we usually make sure its legitimate before we do it so im pretty sure its only you Girls who can experience that.
Really? What sorts of reasons would make you reject someone? đ
Fair enough đ. Youâre doing ugly people and yourself a favour by rejecting the uglies romantically (ugly to you).
Yes I would. Iâm saying youâre doing the uglies a favour by not giving them false hope.
Wouldn't you agree that shy men are in a tougher position than shy women?
A lot of men find shyness attractive or endearing in women, so being shy doesn't automatically hurt a woman's dating prospects. But most women don't seem to find shyness attractive in men, which means shy men are often expected to overcome their shyness before they're considered attractive.
So a shy woman can still be accepted while staying shy, whereas a shy man is often told he needs to change first. That seems like a genuine double standard.
I do think there is more pressure on men to be the ones who make the first move to initiate everything. I think that being a male virgin would be scarier than being a female virgin. The girl just gets to lie there the first time. The guy has to actually figure out what to do. Besides those two things, I think both shy guys and shy girls would have it tough. That's my guess anyway.
I honestly donât know.
@nastyb
The difference is that most guys start from a position of wanting to get to know a woman and looking for reasons to spend more time with her.
Most women seem to start from a position of looking for reasons to rule a guy out. Instead of asking, "Why should I give him a chance?", they're asking, "Why should I reject him?"
That's why so many average guys feel like they have to pass a long list of tests before they're even considered, while they're simply looking for one good reason to give a woman a chance.
@shy_steve
That's because men are more desperate for sex than women. Men will accept anyone who still looks hot even if she is 50 years old... that's just the truth. There are some men out there who would even have sex with a dead body
When women date... we look for love, look for husbands... when men date... they mostly look for sex, anything that will make their dick prop up
Men also tend to have much more shallow superficial criteria than women
@nastyb
If women are dating for love and men are dating for sex, then why do women so often show so little sympathy for average men who struggle with dating?
The reality is that most men are looking for love, companionship, and eventually a wife just as much as women are. The difference is that average men are often expected to pass a long list of tests before they're even considered.
The lack of sympathy many women show toward those men suggests that finding love isn't always the priority. Being selective is.
@shy_steve
so women are supposed to lower their standards because of sympathy?
who the hell dates for sympathy? people date those who are the best fit for us.
the reason why men have it so difficult in dating is because the vast majority of men 80-90% of them are looking for a woman in their 20s-30s. There simply are not enough young women to go around.
you need to realize that that it is not only men in their 20s-30s who only want to date young women. Men in their 40s-50s are still only interested in dating women at least 15-20 years younger. This leads to young women having way too many options while older women have almost no options at all.
@nastyb
That doesn't really explain why average men struggle, because the same thing happens within every age group.
A much bigger factor is that women tend to be far more selective than men. Dating app data and real-world dating patterns consistently show that a relatively small percentage of men receive a disproportionately large share of female attention, while average women receive attention from a much broader range of men.
If 80â90% of men were only pursuing women in their 20s and 30s, then average young women wouldn't just be choosing between men their own age. They would also be choosing between older men, which only increases their options and makes competition even harder for average men.
The real issue isn't that men won't date women their own age. It's that many women are competing for the same small group of highly desirable men, while a large number of average men are overlooked.
@shy_steve
It is only the attractive young woman in 20s to mid 30s who are competing for the top 10% of all men. Why wouldn't she be picky if she has SO MANY OPTIONS?
Only women with no options can't afford to be picky.
If you are a 45 yr old man who only wants to date pretty girls under 35, then yes you are in for a hard time. She can afford to be picky cuz she has PLENTY of options
@nastyb
You're focusing on age groups, but that's not the point I'm making.
I'm talking about the overall dating market and the majority of women, not just attractive women in their 20s and early 30s.
If the problem was mainly older men chasing younger women, then average men who pursue women their own age should be doing fine. Yet many average men still struggle regardless of age, while many women still have significantly more dating opportunities than their male counterparts.
The fact that average women often have more options than average men suggests that the issue goes beyond age preferences alone. Women's greater selectiveness affects the entire dating market, not just the youngest age groups.
So pointing to older men pursuing younger women doesn't really explain why average men across almost every age group report the same difficulties.
@shy
When people refer to "average woman", they are talking about women in their 20s to 30s. Not women in their 40s.
If the average 20 to 30s woman has almost the ENTIRE male population chasing after her, then why wouldn't she be picky?
Average young men aren't as picky as the average using woman because older women don't overglorify young men (the way old men do to young women)
@nastyb
But I'm not chasing women 10â15 years younger, so that argument doesn't apply to me.
You're still talking about a minority of women. I'm talking about the majority of women overall.
If older men chasing younger women was the main reason average men struggle, then average men dating women their own age should have no problem. Yet many still do.
That suggests the issue is bigger than age gaps. Women are generally more selective than men across the dating market as a whole.
@shy_steve
When men refer to "women", they are usually talking about attractive, thin women in their 20s to 30s. Not older women or overweight women.
There are simply not enough women in their 20s to 30s to go around. This EXPLAINS why young women are so selective. Because they have way too many options
I have never seen a man in his 40s actually want a woman around his age and i am 100% sure you are lying. Dating would be a lot easier for men if they just lowered their standards
@nastyb
The fact is many men struggle with women of any age, not just women who are 10â15 years younger.
You keep arguing as if men's dating problems would disappear if they only dated women their own age, but many men already do that and still struggle.
So clearly the issue is bigger than age preferences alone.
You're focusing on one specific group of women, while I'm talking about the overall dating market. Many average men have difficulties with women their own age, younger women, and older women.
That's why I don't think your explanation accounts for the whole picture.
@shy_steve
I have never ever seen a man in his 40s wanting to get with another woman in his 40s. Date on your own level and you will find someone.
If you are only interested in women 15 years younger, then yes, they will likely reject you. You can accuse them of being picky all you want. But these women are young, beautiful and they have PLENTY of guys to pick from. They don't need to settle.
@nastyb
Just because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. There are plenty of men in their 40s dating and marrying women in their 40s. In fact, most long-term couples are fairly close in age.
You're missing my point.
I'm not saying women should date men they don't want. I'm pointing out how little sympathy many women show toward average men who struggle.
A man says he's lonely, gets rejected repeatedly, and can't find anyone, and the response is often "lower your standards" or "you're probably chasing younger women."
Why assume the worst?
Many men struggle with women their own age too. Yet instead of acknowledging that, the blame is immediately put on the man.
That's exactly the lack of sympathy I was talking about from the beginning.
@shy_steve
Most married couples are similar in age because most married couples marry while they are young. Most people in their 20s and 30s date other young people in their 20s to 30s. Most of the young don't tend to be interested in the old. This is why old men constantly complain why they can't find anyone. While men get old and ugly, their standards don't go lower. They still believe they can retain the same standards as they had when they were younger
I will tell you the LAW OF DATING:
You are as picky as your options allow you. If she is extremely picky about who she wants to date, it means she has PLENTY of options.
People with absolutely no options don't tend to be picky
Most men who marry at an older age such as 40s to 50s tend to have more reasonable, realistic standards. Such as marrying single moms or women around their age
They understand that beautiful young women are out of their league and that they would have little to nothing in common with someone around their daughters age
Date on your own level, you will end up finding someone
@nastyb
You're still arguing against a point I never made.
I never said sympathy gets a man a woman.
My point is that women often show very little sympathy toward men who struggle in dating.
Notice what's happened throughout this discussion. A man says average men struggle, and the immediate assumption is that he must be chasing younger women, refusing to date on his level, or has unrealistic standards.
Why is the default response to blame the man?
Many men struggle with women their own age too. Yet instead of acknowledging that reality, the conversation immediately becomes about what the man must be doing wrong.
That's exactly the lack of sympathy I was talking about. Not that sympathy gets a man a date, but that many women seem unable to discuss men's dating struggles without first assuming it's the man's fault.
@shy_steve
I don't sympathize with men for a reason. Almost all old men tend to want someone significantly younger. I can't count the endless number of times where I see old men talking shit about women their own age. They don't want someone 5 years younger, sometimes not even 9 years younger. They want 15 to 20 years younger.
And from my experience, men aren't honest with other people about their standards
Most guys marry in their 20s to 30s. For the few who end up being married 40+, it's usually because they have more reasonable standards. The 50 yr old who only wants to date 25 to 35 year olds usually never end up getting married at all. The reason is because it's very hard for someone at that much of an advanced stage of maturity and brain development to be able to relate to someone so young and inexperienced. Large age gap relationships are uncommon for a reason. But if large age gaps are the only thing you are going after, it will be very hard for you to find that ultimate connection
It's not hard to get an older woman. My boyfriend who is 36, claims he has horny older middle aged women approaching him all the time. he's very average looking by the way. I also know of other handsome young dudes who get hit on by older women. My guess is that women get higher sex drives as they get older.
But if you have a chronic problem getting women, it's more likely an issue with poor social skills. The thing is... while men judge mostly on physical appearance... women judge on the overall package... meaning if you are a less attractive man, you can make up for the lost attraction by being funny or charismatic.
@shy_steve
so people NEED to date you because you are shy?
people MUST give you a chance because you are 42?
people must date you because you are socially awkward?
people must date you because they NEED to have sympathy for you?
that's not how the world works.
If you are shy now, you will be even more shy later on because your dating value doesn't increase as you get older.
Now that you are 42, you still have a chance at finding someone. It only gets worse by the time you hit 52.
Go find some hobbies... board games, volleyball, pickle ball- talk to the women. Make some friends, maybe they can introduce you to someone.
@nastyb
You're proving my point.
I never once said women have to date me because I'm shy.
I said many shy men struggle, and women often show very little sympathy for that.
Instead of saying, "Yeah, that must be hard," your first reaction was to twist it into, "So women MUST date you?"
That's exactly what I mean. Many women don't respond with empathy. They respond by first assuming it's the man's fault.
@shy_steve
Women make up the vast majority nurses, social workers, psychologists, physical therapists, special education teachers, caregivers, nannies... all of these fields require enormous amounts of empathy
Bitter men with nothing to sell babout themselves to women tend to hate on women for not accepting them.
Women don't have to date you out of sympathy
Neither would you date a 60 yr old woman just out of sympathy
@nastyb
You're changing the argument again.
I never said women have to date men out of sympathy.
I said many women show very little sympathy toward men who struggle with dating.
Those are two completely different things.
Someone can reject a man and still acknowledge that loneliness, rejection and shyness are difficult. Instead, the response is often to blame him, call him bitter, or assume he has unrealistic standards.
That's the lack of sympathy I was talking about.
@shy_steve
What is sympathy going to do for your dating life? NOTHING!
You get a woman by adopting MORE REASONABLE STANDARDS and improving yourself
Sitting there, shitting on all women, acting like you are the perfect angel and doing everything correctly and still no woman wants you...
This is not how you get sympathy
Believe it or not, there ARE men out there who have gfs and wives
Why do they have someone and u don't?
@nastyb
You're proving my point again.
I never said sympathy gets a man a girlfriend.
I never said men shouldn't improve themselves.
I never said all women are the same.
I said many women show very little sympathy when men struggle with dating.
A man says he's lonely or shy, and the first response is usually to tell him everything he's doing wrong.
That's exactly what you've done throughout this discussion.
You're not showing sympathy. You're showing why many men feel they don't receive any.
men with high standards, only wanting to date women at least 10-20 years younger while they are losing their hair, growing wrinkles, suffering from ED.
men without social skills, can't talk to women, who demand a second date.
there is a reason why you can't get a woman. Fix yourself instead of begging for pity over the internet.
Pity will not improve your dating life. Stomping your feet and demanding a woman for a date isn't going to help you either.
@nastyb
I've never demanded a woman date me, and I've never said pity gets a man a girlfriend.
Stomping your feet and demanding a woman date them seems to work time and time again for guys with narcissistic and toxic personalities just because they are more confident, so you're right, it won't work for a guy like me who isn't that confident.
My point has always been that many women show very little sympathy when decent men struggle with dating. Instead of acknowledging that shyness can make dating genuinely difficult, the first response is to assume the man has unrealistic standards, a bad personality, or that everything is his fault.
That's exactly the lack of sympathy I've been talking about from the beginning.
@shy_steve
Hating on women for not being able to get a date
Not willing to take responsibilities over your own inadequacies but rather insisting on getting pity from others
doesn't make you look good at all.
I have sympathy for the disabled or disfigured not for full bodied, capable individuals who REFUSE to change for the better.
u Eeehhh... kind of. I liked this girl and was near 100% certain that she liked me... but to test her interest, I mentioned another girl I had thought of pursuing and... yeah, we basically stopped talking after that.
Nope. I don't take any decisions I make lightly.
No. One guy in high school I tried to manifest that he would ask me out. The manifestation theory rejected that idea. lol
Nope, I reject those who are not attractive in my opinion. I won't hold them in delusions, it's fair of me.
I agree that's the right thing to do, and I do the same thing in general.
Good thinking, it's always better to be honest with them.
agreed. I also don't want to be stuck with someone that gives me the icks.
I tend to flog a dead horse till it runs away :)
Nope-diddly-ope. That would be poor judgment.
Yes and no. I have rejected girls and then at a later date would have dated if I had the opportunity to, but that may have been circumstantial. If you wouldn't proudly poster them over your social media then you made the right decision
Accidentally when I was younger a lot, because A U T I S M.
Nah. I wish I was hot enough to have to reject women.
No. I make good decisions based on logic and reason
Yes I have forget someone important. Mind problem. Now it's all ok.
u nope, and nope
Nope
Yeah, it could've happened a time or three.
Yeah. But it was for her own good.
No, I don't regret it.
Yes!
I didn't.
Thankfully no
Nope
about 3 times
Okay... there's got to be a story here...
@MrChinaski first one was when i was 14 and started dating and 18 year old neighbor we dated for 6 months, than i meant a cheerleader at school and lets just say i should have stay with the first one
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