What are effective self defense moves if someone makes me feel unsafe?

[Abby_thewoman]

There’s this guy in my apartment complex and he makes me feel uncomfortable and I would like to know surefire ways to floor him if need be.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to keep you safe, confident, and way out of reach of creeps like that guy.

Go for simple, brutal, easy moves: palm strike to the nose, heel stomp to the foot, hard kick straight to the groin, fingers to the eyes, then run. No fancy movie stuff, just shock, pain, escape.

Also a big non-flirty tip from me: carry your phone, tell neighbors, and trust your gut. A guy who makes you feel unsafe is already a red flag.

[ShellyB]

I took a self defense class and long story short, my advice would be to avoid situations where you may be alone where he is, carry pepper spray then, and if something happens I would scream and run. Maybe you can become an expert martial artist and, maybe he is not an expert martial artist but short of that, I would not want to get in a physical fight if I could avoid it that would be the last resort. JMO!

[Effably]

The best self defense is sprinting.

Second best is calling for help before anyone gets their hands on you.

For actually fighting? There is no technique you could learn that would guarantee the end of a fight. Anything you attempt is more likely to escalate it.

A decent can of pepperspray will help more than a year or two of martial arts. I say this having done various martial arts since I was eight.

A fight basically consists of your body, mind and technique. Body sets the baseline. Mind decides if you're able to do things, technique amplify that.

If you want to floor someone you're starting in the wrong end. Body first, then train your mind to not panic and react reasonably. Joining a club to spar is good. Only after that will technique matter. But for the average woman the average man is nearly unbeatable.

[Abby_thewoman]

@Effably really? unbeatable? surely not

[SeekerOfTruth007]

No, that guy is exaggerating. We've had women in Isshinryu Karate defeat not just one male attacker, but two male attackers in a gang-rape scenario.

As I said, A fully trained fighter punches and kicks with five to ten times more power than an untrained fighter.

You need 6 months training to defeat an unskilled man.
You need 2+ years training to beat a man who might have some martial arts training, if you surprise him fast enough when he touches you or tries something dumb.

[Abby_thewoman]

@SeekerOfTruth007 Could you give me a quick crash course of what to do in the meantime?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

Well, what the Bot told you was not wrong, but not complete either. You need to attack/counter-attack vital points:

eyes
throat
solar plexus
liver
groin
knees (inside and outside)
foot stomp

But everyone knows that already, including the bad guys, so you need REPETITION.

I honestly cannot teach you a magic formula over the internet in one day or whatever, to win a fight against a man. It takes serious practice and I mean at least 3 gym hours per week, not counting training time on your own at home. You need a gym which teaches FULL CONTACT sparring, and if you cannot find a karate or Japanese Ju Jitsu school which does full contact sparring, then you should ALSO join a Boxing gym, because Boxing gyms do teach full contact sparring.

[Abby_thewoman]

@SeekerOfTruth007 objective_calendar said to kick his ballsack. How would that look if I got one off?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

Kick to the nuts hopefully lands and hopefully doubles him over, then kick to the head and/or run away, like the bot originally said.

But real fight science is more complicated than that, and again the Repetition and Training is what matters.

Movie martial arts "training montages" make it look like you can be taught in one day to be a world class fighter, it does not work that way.

Jean Claude Van Damme trained for a lifetime and had been a pro fighter before they made Bloodsport, so this "training montage" is misleading, because it took him a lifetime BEFORE he got the part to train for the fight scenes in the movie, and on top of that, the movie is fraudulent, because Frank Dux never fought in nor won an illegal tournament.

https://youtu.be/GUABDC1B1_s?si=dgt79vthSTwTVcN8

While this is realistic, it is intended to be portraying training across several YEARS, and the first thing that will happen to you in a marital arts gym is you will be taught to take a hit and taught to take a fall without hurting yourself.

[Abby_thewoman]

@SeekerOfTruth007 hey should we just dm since this seems to be a full blown convo?😂

[SeekerOfTruth007]

How do we do that? "Follow" one another? This board has some weird restrictions on private messaging.

[Abby_thewoman]

@SeekerOfTruth007 i just followed you so should be good

[Effably]

You two can definitely help each other, I fully stand by what I said though. The emphasis is normal vs normal. Years of karate practice is not normal neither is it a technique. It is a many year long process of molding body and mind and adding technique.

The women in UFC would wipe the floor with most men. No doubt about it. Yet their equally skilled male counterpart is going to be an incredibly high wall.

I avoid giving an impactful technique because in real life a kick to someone's balls is a lucky hit followed by a small window of inaction followed by one very angry aggressor.

Quoting old CQB manuals won't change that. I do believe my advice was to join a club, much like the successful examples.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

Honestly, it's a joke that the Bot told you things you probably already knew.

I'd recommend taking a Krav Maga and Japanese Ju Jitsu class, as teaching you anything you didn't already know would require some hands-on instruction.

This is japanese Ju Jitsu.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vn22Q1p7WGk

You could try a cross-heel stomp kick to the inside or outside of the knee, but ultimately you need INSTRUCTION from a skilled fighter. A trained Martial Artists punches and kicks between five and ten times more power than an untrained person. So the TRAINING and REPETITION is more important than the individual techniques.

[Abby_thewoman]

@SeekerOfTruth007 Ok thank you! I should also mention I’m really not strong and I’m really short

[SeekerOfTruth007]

Joint Locks and other Japanese Locks do not rely on strength, but rather technique and repetition. Even a 120lbs woman can floor a heavyweight man by using a joint lock. It actually hurts worse than a groin kick in many cases.

[Effably]

Just so I comment on yours!

Anyone recommending Krav Maga in 2026 has not touched martial arts for at least 15 years. There exists a few good clubs, sure, but 90% of them are basically scams. That recommendation alone should invalidate anything else. Even the good clubs will end up giving you a budget version of what you'd get from doing something like muay thai. And the majority of muay thai clubs will have you grow fast due to the simplicity and focus on conditioning. Never ever recommend Krav Maga unless you personally know the instructor.

Japanese jijitsu over brazilian jijitsu (BJJ) for a real life encounter and especially for a smaller woman is also a crazy notion. Not that the japanese version is distinctly bad but it is pretty objectively just worse for the goal.

Training and reptition I of course agree with. Recommending a cross-heel stomp or kick to the knee is some 70s self defense stuff from aerobics videos that never worked in practice. Might as well just start at the beginning and explain that half the power comes from where we aim a strike and that mentally we have to punch through a target, not at a target. Want to punch someone's face? No you don't. You're trying to ram your fist through their skull. It won't work, but the impact will double. That at least will help.

But really. Exercise is great. Martial arts are awesome. If you need safety today get whatever pepperspray is legal where you live.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

@Effably Pepper sprays and Mace do not work. I have been Maced directly in the eyes before, and the only thing that did was piss me off more.

The only Krav Maga instructor I ever knew would have been a ranked righter in the UFC had he actually bothered to compete.

I've been trained in BJJ for 1.5 years in addition to the other training I've had, and I do not recommend BJJ for self-defense, least of all for a Woman, because a Woman is not realistically going to win a street fight against a man by "wrestling" with him.

I tap out BJJ multi-degree black belts by using Japanese Ju Jitsu locks. I've tapped out professional fighters who had over 20 professional MMA wins doing that.

[Effably]

Well. How am I supposed to react to any of that? You listed krav maga. That's as silly as it gets and makes anything else seem equally untrue.

Pepper spray works very well. Have tried. Whatever you tried was very likely diluted. Drugs may naturally impact efficiency.

BJJ logic is naturally if it has gotten to a wrestling level confrontation. Which is typically the worry for a woman. Nothing really in the world that is better if it is there. I still stand by sprinting. Sprinting is the best self defense.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

@Effably The average man can run 100 yards a full second faster than the average woman. Sprinting is not the best option.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

@Effably I've been maced by the Police when they falsely arrested me back in 2013. Trust me, it doesn't stop a heavyweight.

As for my instructor I mentioned, he was a 7th degree black belt in Isshinryu Karate and Japanese Ju Jitsu and a First Degree Black belt in Gracie BJJ. He changed to teaching Krav Maga as his primary style after testing out of the teaching requirements in Krav Maga, because Krav Maga just teaches techniques without traditional kata. Traditional kata ends up taking up too much time in a tradittional karate class and the bunkai or meaning of the kata is often disputed by different instructors anyway. So he was more than "just krav maga". He eventually obtained max rank in Krav Maga, but was a 7th degree karate and JJJ black belt last time I met him in person. I studied under him for 4.5 years around the time he started transitioning to Krav Maga. He was a Marine Corps veteran from the time they taught the old close combat system and the early roots of the new MCMAP overlapping.

If you saw the man in action, you'd get why I said he could be a ranked UFC contender, at least when he was 32 years old and I was 20 years old at the time.

[Effably]

And that is all fine. But this is also why I say that no person in the world who has any experience in MMA today would EVER recommend krav maga blindly. My 60 year old friendly neighbourly lady with a limp could become a certified krav maga instructor in a few weeks if she wanted to. The core idea is fine but the existing options are mostly a scam.

So just like I said. You do not recommend krav maga but a specific instructor. Yours name is? Keep in mind these accolades mean everyone would know who he is anyway.

Sprinting faster than a man for the average woman can be learned in a few weeks. No martial art or gym exercise will even come close. It is also a much safer recourse. If you control the distance you control if a confrontation even happens.

[FreyaRed]

If you don't have a firearm, a combat knife is another option. However don't show it, a knife doesn't work as deterrence, a pistol does sometimes.
Once you pull it out of your bag you have to use it with the intent to kill your opponent fast as possible. Body is like a bag filled with fluid, the more holes you make the sooner their blood pressure falls and they aren't a threat anymore.

[Abby_thewoman]

@freyared I like this idea but I don’t want to kill anyone

[FreyaRed]

There is certain threshold you will know it's no just kidding, if you don't kill them, there is high risk they kill you. It's better to be prepared before this happens.
Remember most rapist try to kill their victims after rape or beat them so severely they need plastic surgery to recover.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

I don't consider the above good advice. If you stab someone who doesn't have a weapon, you will have a hard time selling a self-defense claim in court.

[FreyaRed]

Maybe in UK when the attacker is Muslim or a rapist diarrhea kingdom, otherwise a girl will get away with a slap on the wrist for stabbing someone who attempted to assault and to rape her.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

There is a recent case in the USA where a woman would have been stabbed and raped, but she wrestled the weapon away from the man and stabbed him several times. The judge and jury convicted her of "murder" and have sentenced her to prison. I think she got life in prison. I believe her story and find it preposterous that the judge and Jury could convict her of murder for this, but i don't get a say in the matter.

[Levin]

You could do with some proper training, tbh. Including at least some sparring.

I know men have the serious power advantage, but if it can buy you some time to get out of a situation, or you're not easy prey, those things are helpful in themselves.

[Abby_thewoman]

@Levin Right so how would I do that?

[Levin]

You're best going to class or have someone teach you, if you know anyone. Including how to kick and punch effectively without gloves.

[strateguy632]

feel unsafe? that does not justify anything. if a real threat then pepper spray. otherwise you end up like that guilty teen who stabbed, in the news.

[Abby_thewoman]

That’s why I said if need be

[ChicoFromThe305]

The adams apple, do a karate chop and push his shit back, he will choke, give you enough time to leave, but if you live somewhere that embraces the 2nd amendment, I recommend getting a piece

[LiamS95]

Remember a man's most vulnerable area, and kick him in his scrotum.

[Abby_thewoman]

Thank you for the tip!

[TonyMetal___86]

Pepperspray or a tazer unless you're huge and he's small, skinny and weak...

[Abby_thewoman]

No im very much not

[TonyMetal___86]

Than pepperspray or tazer

[jahaims]

You are helpless. Unless you are a professional mma fighter a guy can just rag doll you at will.

[objective_calendar]

Kick to the balzack.

[Abby_thewoman]

@objective_calendar huh?

[Abby_thewoman]

@objective_calendar oh ok kick his ballsack?

[objective_calendar]

yes.

[Agape93]

@Abbycado

Usually a 9mm hp does the trick

[Abbycado]

Ball troll. Look at the replies elsewhere.

[Agape93]

I know. He's about as subtle as I am when I'm drunk

[Abbycado]

Did that last night. Been a hot minute since I had drinks.

[Agape93]

Same. About 9 hours

[Abbycado]

XD nine hours lmfao

[Agape93]

Lol bite me

[AngryCarl3]

What's he doing?

[dudeinohio]

Stun Gun.

[DirtyOldMan777]

OC spray, gun, taser