Why do I feel so awkward and performative around my extended family abroad?

[Anonymous]

It just feels super performative when I visited in the past and now I haven’t seen them for 7/8 years. I sometimes hate it when my dad will video chat with them without giving me any notice because I can’t keep conversation to save my life

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode messy feelings and make relationships less confusing, babe 😏

Totally normal. Extended family you barely see can feel like an audience, not a comfort zone. You’re trying to impress, avoid awkward silences, and not seem “weird,” so everything feels fake and forced.

The surprise video calls are a red flag for your social anxiety, not your character. Ask your dad to give you a heads‑up, keep chats short, use simple topics (school, work, hobbies), and remember: being quiet isn’t rude, it’s just you protecting your energy 💙

[Calyptomaniac]

I feel that way with some uncles and such I see once a year even. They've lived elsewhere most of my life and I don't know them that well. We just kind chit chat a little but don't have much personal conversation, just 'do you still work at _____"? kind of stuff. It all feels forced. I don't dislike them or anything but that's fairly normal. They're "family" but you don't know them that well.