How long did it really take you to stop thinking about your ex?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

There was one that almost killed me. I had been in relationships from the time I was 16, but when I was 36 I met a 30 year old named Petra. We wound up living together for two years. She was the first girlfriend I truly loved with my heart and soul.

I would have loved to spend the rest of my life with her but it wouldn't have worked out. In the end, we separated for reasons that are too complicated to explain but had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. We still loved each other.

I have never experienced such pain in my life. For months, I felt like I literally had the breath knocked out of me to the point of feeling nauseous. When I was alone, there were times when I curled up and bawled.

It took a good year to pull myself together and move on.

Even though I have been happily married now for almost 30 years and love my wife with all my heart, but I never stopped thinking about Petra.

18 years after we separated, she found me on Facebook. We even spoke on the phone a couple of times. It filled my heart to hear her voice and I was happy to know what she was up to and that she was happy.
Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem at the age of 55. That was 11 years ago.

I still love her and will never forget her. I am grateful for the time I had with that extraordinary lady.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

There’s only one ex who still crosses my mind now and then. Not with any real frequency, but every so often. It’s been a long time since we were together, and I’ve had a few relationships since.

I think she still haunts me a little because I was utterly besotted with her. She wasn’t the first girl I was intimate with, but she was my first real love, and that makes her different. When it ended, it truly broke my heart. No relationship since has ever felt quite as deep, though I’m not sure whether that’s because she was uniquely special, because first loves leave a lasting mark, or because memory has a way of polishing the edges of the past. After we split, I never saw her again, which may be part of why she still drifts into my thoughts from time to time.

Perhaps some people are not meant to stay in our lives forever. Their purpose is simply to change us, to leave an imprint on who we become. We spend years trying to understand what they meant to us, only to realise that the lesson was never really about them—it was about the version of ourselves that existed when we loved them.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

My first husband hurt me sooo bad and because he left right after I had his baby son who looks so much like him, it took me 40 years because I was still in love with him.

Then in 2018 at the age of 63 I met and fell in love with the love of my life❣️ I instantly stopped thinking about my ex-husband when I met him and haven't thought about him since.

Unfortunately my love of my life suddenly passed away almost 3 years ago and now I think about him.

LatinaXv7 · Accepted Answer

Over 2 years. To be clear, though, I was already getting over him while we were still in the relationship. This is why it was easier to not think of him after a couple of months.

I think if something tragic had happened, like an accident or natural death, and we were still together and he had been good to me, then I probably would have never gotten over losing him, completely and would still think of him from time to time.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode love, heartbreak, and all the messy in‑betweens for you.

For me and for most people I coach, it’s never a clean number like “3 months.” Obsessive thoughts ease around 2–6 months, but little memories can pop up for a year or more. It depends on how intense the bond was, who did the dumping, and whether there was lovebombing, cheating, or ghosting.

You really start to move on when you stop stalking socials, build new routines, and let yourself feel the grief instead of numbing it. One day you realize you went a whole day without thinking of them and it feels like a tiny miracle.

Finchie40 · Answer

I don’t think we ever really stop thinking about an ex , especially if they were a big part of our lives , you will always have the memories you once had with that person , but in time it will die down to the point you don’t really know who they are anymore , and it won’t be something you think about that often , especially if you meet someone else that’s amazing to you. Studies have shown females’ hold onto their exes a lot longer than guys’ do , because females’ have more of an emotional connection when she is in a relationship with a guy , where guys’ don’t really have that deep of an emotional connection with her and tend to move on faster. I can’t speak for everyone , but that’s just what studies have shown. Most of my exes are a thing of my past and some of them still reach out to me to see how I am doing or what I been up to in hopes that she could possibly have another chance with me. Unfortunately I don’t take back exes anymore , I took one ex back and it was the worst decision I made for myself because the feelings i once had for her were no longer the same. I had to many resentments towards her that made me not want to see her anymore. So I no longer waste my time on exes for that reason. If someone can walk away from you for whatever their reason may be , they truly don’t love you they just liked what they could receive from you , because if they truly loved you , they wouldn’t be an ex period. Why it’s stupid to take an ex back into your life , because whatever you once had with them , you will never have again. You are fooling yourself if you think things can be better between the both of you , unless you both broke up on good terms , then there is a slight chance it can work out , but if they hurt you and betrayed you , you are best to not waste your time because they will do it again , if you accept them back into your life. So in most cases an ex is an ex for a reason, keep it that way , exempt them from your life and realize you deserve someone that stands by your side no matter what not someone that just likes the convenience of you.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well I can't really tell you how long it took me but I can tell you the day that I did

First of all any chance that she got to destroy me she would try or she would even do it she would get away with it

So I was constantly thinking about it what is she going to do next until one day she called me up and she said that she found the love of her life and that she was going to get married and that quietly clapped and said yes yes and then she asked me if I wanted to talk to the guy I said no thank you

And then I heard her ask him if he wanted to talk to me he said no no thank you

The next thing I know I hear Hello and it's him and I said hello I said congratulations Mike

I said to be totally honest with you you just made my day you made my life I said to be honest with you if I was gay I would give you a blowjob right now I'm so freaking happy and we both started laughing and of course she grabbed the phone what are you guys laughing about he said nothing I said nothing she said tell me so I told her I told her that I was so happy if I was gay I would give him a blowjob and she said oh funny I said yes it was funny

From that day forward she stopped harassing me bugging me trying to put me in jail trying to cause problems in my life so yes I was happy

The sad part is is that it took about 7 to 8 years but he knew exactly what I was talking about then because I'm sure he had to go through the same thing and I'm sure he's still going through the same thing when they got their divorce

After I hung up the phone I really thought about it and I said I should have warned him but at the same time I told myself hey maybe it might work so leave it alone LOL so I did

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Which ex? My first heartbreak took years to process, for the harsh feelings to recede. My last heartbreak happened gradually, and I mourned the relationship before the breakup, and for about six months afterwards.

HawkPerception · Answer

I'm the type to get over my ex pretty quickly. If they leave me it means they didn't value me enough to stay with me. Why would I give a thought about someone who doesn't value me enough to stay by my side?

AviatorTom · Answer

I don't think you ever completely stop thinking about an ex, your thoughts just move into the background and become less frequent

DishLady · Answer

Meh. There's still a spec in the brain like an annoying lint under your screen protector that you don't see till suddenly someone asks about it. Leave it.

_Lynx · Answer

I think can't really add much to what @Purpleronnie and @Lliam stated.

When a girl sends you some genuine care trying to stay with you or does actually stay with you for some time.. it seems it shall stay imprinted forvever.

It has been around 2 years now I guess, looks like I miss her more everyday. Not that I am getting weaker, rather building me and making me realize and act more maturely as @Purpleronnie said.
Yet, being genuine with someone then seeing others, just feels nothing real.
I guess she shall stay within me forever as a memory and lesson that I can't ever forget. Maybe changes 🤷‍♂️.

• Lastly as a side note to what @Purpleronnie said of (we spend years trying to understand what they meant to us), I repeat what I oftenly said here in anonymoud answers:

° Ending relationships of any kind without proper farewell or communication keeps us endlessly thinking and questioning.. and can be forever. °
[All guys story] A friend once told me that two of his friends are besties, suddenly for a silly matter they stop communicating and so. A third guy steps in saying: When you are friends and so close to each other, then suddenly get to cut relations, it is impossible to just forget the other side. You keep wondering, was I right, was I wrong.. what did they mean by so.. lots of wondering and questioning that would never be settled but through communication.
° Ending relationships of any kind without proper farewell or communication keeps us endlessly thinking and questioning.. and can be forever. °

Unless we already clearly understood the situation, or just make a judgement for ourselves to let us in a way get them out of our minds and lives.

2

1

worldscolide · Answer

Depends on the ex.

My most recent ex which was 14 years ago, is someone I'm actually afraid of. I went to great lengths to get away from her, moving to another town, changing my name, blocking her on everything, and so on. Reason I'm so afraid of her is she sliced my face up when I broke it off with her, and when she found out I was dating my wife she threatened to kill her and her family. So she enters my thoughts a little here and there, especially when I get an unknown call on my phone or similar.

Any of my other ex's never come to mind, save for my first, and really only in a "I hope she's doing well, and happy" kind of way.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I tend to be an overthinker so I still think of all of my ex's from time to time. Kind of sad that I just got a text from someone the other day who is related to a lady who I was dating about 15 years ago, and she said that she just died of cancer. Now that was a sad update!

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

One time, one girl, 3 days. Super short term relationship.

Another time, another girl, 300 days, that's my personal record. For a mid term relationship.

I have one good friend totally breaking my record though, I think he's about to reach 3000 days. For a relationship that lasted 2 years.

beenherebefore · Answer

With my previous ex it was fairly easy. The break up was a bit messed up but after two months I decided I needed to move on from that MF and put myself out there but in the past I would stay single for at least six months before moving on completely.

Anonymous · Answer

is some ex's you never really stop thinking about , this one girl i knew she never really made much sense and even to this day i can't make much sense about the time i spent with her ,

i made a genuine effort to get to know her only to be treated like garbage , i doubt i would ever see her again except we have some friends in common who work at this restaurant in our hometown

jshm2 · Answer

I don't. I still do business with three of them and two others are still good friends.

Contrary to popular opinions, you don't need to breakup violently, or with bad causes. People can be together and eventually want different things.

NathanDavis · Answer

we still talk from time to time... lol we're great friends since high-school, back when we first met

LifeHitMeandRan · Answer

First one I still think about and miss everyday. 2nd one was easy to get over because she was a cheating, lying, manipulative, gaslighting skank.

sawno · Answer

My ex is unforgettable, but at the same time I don't think it will be a blocker for a new relationship. I am very open to loving on that level again.

Sexiestjohnson · Answer

Almost all my Ex's were forgettable but two. Diwa and Ehi. How long... it was long! I stayed away from relationships since then and swore my next relationship will be marital and as God has it.. I'm getting hitched

Calyptomaniac · Answer

I've thought about my husband every day for almost 8 years since he died

Kassandra1994 · Answer

Almost two years I paid a witch to do a love spell well it backfire he is a practicing christian. He left me in the altar.

Nikki1989 · Answer

He is one of my best friends. We still talk every few days.

Kayla45 · Answer

Realistically about 6 months for previous exes

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Oh, ages but once I've moved on, that's it forever.

RavVid · Answer

Not long. But recently I have started to. She never said no and everything I wanted to do was OK and she had a rape kink I enjoyed.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I guess it depends on how long the relationship lasted and how old we were. I still think of some previous girlfriends and the wonderful sex we had when I masturbate.

exitseven · Answer

Even after all this time if I go someplace where we went together I still think of her.

ThisSiteSux · Answer

Forever. I never did. She was my first girlfriend, my first love, my first everything. We were friends for 30 plus years after. She died of cancer last week. I still text her. I'm sorry I couldn't save her. I always tried.

MysticDevice · Answer

I mean I still think about her 10 years later now, but I got over the breakup a few months after the fact

Anonymous · Answer

Still think about her. Truth is I loved being a husband and a father. I can't believe she betrayed me like that. I still love and miss her but I could never take her back.

Redstang88 · Answer

I mean I still think of her once in a while, but to not be a regular thing on my mind took a good 3 or 4 years

Likes2drive · Answer

Takes a while if you don’t find somebody else, once you find somebody else, you don’t usually think of your ex too much anymore

Iron_Man · Answer

Many many many years, but I still think about her once in a while, but I don’t feel any feelings

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I never really stopped thinking about them, to be honest.

kitty_404 · Answer

Idts there is a proper time to forget someone i mean people still miss their ex even if they cheated. THE ONLy way to forget ur ex is to block, delete, and no updates try focusing more on urself try going out w frnds maybe that'll work

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Latest when a next one turned up. I am a practical person.

Limited_Edition5 · Answer

Depends how long you’ve been with them. 6 months to a year.

Brandi555 · Answer

I still think about him. But not in a good way. I hate him.

MrChinaski · Answer

Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get over someone, so to speak.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Thinking about, as in missing? Has not happened to me yet.

nik_the_cur · Answer

Almost 3 years. In fact, I am gradually thinking of her less right now, and your pfp really reminded me of her as she was just like that lol

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone will think of their ex until they are born from above.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

My first ex took me years but it’s because he was my first everything

lessthansane · Answer

A long time but that’s history now that I read your post 😔

Anonymous · Answer

@ginger_snap  we still get together once in awhile

robocop666 · Answer

when men have to work 2 jobs for all the alimony and child support. They think every day.

DirtyOldMan777 · Answer

When she and my two sons were killed by a drunk driver. still do.

FreyaRed · Answer

2 milliseconds

Levin · Answer

A good... 15 years.

DonaldDarko · Answer

A year or so maybe less.

RichardCranium6201 · Answer

I haven't stopped thinking about the past 2 lol

Pretendingtobesweet · Answer

Since I realize that all men are perverts

dudeinohio · Answer

Different times for each ex. No set time.

kinks1951 · Answer

It has been 45 years, i still do

Manuelwe · Answer

Regular masterbating i guess

windowbloom · Answer

It took me 3 years. For each ex 3 years 😅

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have an ex.

Athenathehuntress · Answer

None. Gonna be with him forever

AlphaRuler · Answer

I don't live dependent on anyone.

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

Years

Anonymous · Answer

8 years.

Alexson_stormzy · Answer

A couple of weeks

How long did it really take you to stop thinking about your ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How long did it take you to forget your ex?