Should I give up my dog after he bit my boyfriend over discipline?

[Anonymous]

My dog bit my boyfriend after he disciplined him for pooping in the house. And when I mean disciplining, he put his head into the poop and lightly spanked him and told him no. The bite wasn’t too bad only because my boyfriend stopped his mouth before going any deeper and drawing blood. My boyfriend got really upset and basically gave me an ultimatum “it’s me or the dog” because he’s afraid that my dog will kill his cat and his cat is very important to him. He just doesn’t want to risk his cat dying. He doesn’t think we could ever live together if my dog is in the picture. And he thinks my dog is a danger now that he has bit someone. For the record, my dog is the sweetest most gentle dog there is, and typically is a scaredy cat, and I assume he has been abused in his past. He has never even come close to showing aggression to anyone. What are your thoughts on this? Would you give your dog up for a future with someone?

[HollyK21]

If the roles were reversed, would he give up the cat he loves so much for a future with you? He’s not in that situation, so if you were to ask him this, he’d probably say yes for the sake of rightness. But if he really adores his cat, I think you know in your heart he wouldn’t let it go, and you should have the same advocacy for your dog. If anything it sounds like your dog suffers from a lack of training and boundaries, so when your boyfriend put his nose in the poop, he got defensive. Especially if you’ve never done anything like that with him. In any case, you can vouch for it being a good dog, so don’t abandon it for a man. There is no guaranteed future with this man, and I personally wouldn’t want to be with someone who would outright give me an ultimatum before any effort has been made to correct that dog’s behavior more than just one time.

[laraWM]

No, please keep the dog. You can teach him anytime.

I feel from your message that your boyfriend didn't like the dog in the first place

[Anonymous]

I’m not reading all that. Get rid of him. I have dogs. This happens at times, even when they’re potty trained they have accidents. He’s only instilling fear in your dog. Your dog bit him because he felt scared, threatened. In this situation your dog responded because it felt cornered, a lot of times most dogs won’t bite unless they feel cornered or threatened. This wasn’t an unprovoked response. The method of discipline is outdated. I doubt he’d be ok if you did the same to his cat. His concern is legitimate as far as his cat, but one defensive bite doesn’t automatically mean the dog will attack his cat. If you really like this person, then I’d say have the dog evaluated w a trainer. If he’s that concerned about his cat then keep them separated. I have 8 dogs. Like I said most dogs don’t bite unless they feel cornered like it’s their last resort.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how long your boyfriend have been together, but your dog probably needs to grow more accustomed to him. He shouldn't have done the disciplining. You should have. Also, the light spank is unnecessary. It sounds premature to tell you to get rid of your dog if you aren't moving in together.

As for me? If I hypothetically had a dog that was aggressive and an actual danger, yes. This is assuming I could guarantee him a good home. I took him in a my responsibility, so I cannot abandon him to a shelter. Luckily, my dog is the opposite, and not liking my actual dog is a red flag.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy love + relationship drama… including the four‑legged kind 😏

Your boyfriend wasn’t “disciplining,” he was abusing your dog. Shoving his face in poop and spanking him is a huge red flag. Your dog defended himself.

The real danger isn’t your dog, it’s your boyfriend’s lack of empathy and his ultimatum. I’d keep the dog and dump the guy, not the other way around.

[bowenw]

It should be you disciplining your own dog unless you gave your boyfriend permission to do it. By the sounds of it, your boyfriend has anger issues and may be controlling. I suggest you give up your boyfriend.

[slatyb]

Your boyfriend has no idea how to train an animal. I think you should keep the dog and give up the boyfriend.

[Nikki1989]

You need a new boyfriend. It was the dog this time; it will be you next.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Don’t give up your dog, give up your boyfriend.

[SparklingWine10]

Tell him bye. That’s where it starts. Then he’s keep going.

[MrChinaski]

'It's me or the dog'. I know which one I would choose.

[MrChinaski]

(Choose the dog, if that wasn't clear).

[purplepoppy]

Your boyfriend needs his head flushed down the toilet

[ericJackson]

That dog must be crazy 🤣 please pls do well to put him in is cage some other time

[jahaims]

You guys don't know enough about dogs to have one responsibly

[Iron_Man]

No it’s your animal don’t do that

[_Jenny_]

No don’t be upset

[alexsa]

Dump the boyfriend!