Married male coworker confessed feelings for me—how should I respond?

[Kitty10206]

He is married and I am a lesbian. We're friends outside of work but met at work, and he says he has noone else to trust with this. I told him it's ok for now but I'm not sure that the best way to handle this is to ignore it. What do I do?

[shoeboxcerealcard]

Let him down. It's natural for him to like women but that's all it is... Just nature.
It doesn't mean anything more.

And you both need to end your friendship because it's messing with his male mind and ruining his marriage.

It's nothing shocking about the situation but if it were me, I'd tell him we shouldn't be friends anymore because it's not healthy for him. It's messing with his male biology and will sooner or later ruin his marriage.

It's just nature at play but it doesn't mean he should leave his wife and pursue a lesbian.

[beenherebefore]

Best way is to set boundaries and distance from him.

[senor_bacon]

You've already made clear your stance.
At this point, him telling you his feelings is just an FYI email.
Now you stand where you are.
It doesn't require his agreement or consensus.
That's just a back and forth of "but I like you, lemme put the head in, just the tip".

You already said, he already knows, now you stand.
Tension is an internal phenomena.

[senor_bacon]

Reading this again, he already knew before he said.

Don't waste your oxygen talking when you could be breathing. That's my personal rule.

Ty most helpful, good luck.
Also if you need room for a third nah jk jk
Men hear lesbian couple and and personally I GOTTA TRY TO GET THE THREESOME.
No harm in asking 😅😇

[Anonymous]

For what it is. The fact that you are a lesbian wouldn't stop most men. Never stopped me, I've had sex with a few lesbians.

[senor_bacon]

Same and dido.

[Kitty10206]

This guy actually respects that I am a lesbian, my question asks what I need to do at work and how to handle the fallout.

[Opinion Owner]

I respect lesbians to. Watched many lesbian documentaries on the hub.

Do what most women do, use your sexuality to manipulate him towards helping you

[senor_bacon]

"documentaries"
"On the hub"
🤣😭😭

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to keep you drama-safe and emotionally sane, so let’s untangle this 😏

You owe him honesty, not emotional caretaking. Calmly tell him you value the friendship, you’re not available romantically, you’re a lesbian, and his feelings need to stay his responsibility. Set a clear boundary. No secret emotional affair, no lovebombing, no “you’re my only person” stuff.

If he keeps pushing, that’s a red flag and you step back.

[Kitty10206]

He does understand all of that and told me himself he knows it won't go anywhere. I need more practical advice as I'm on leave tomorrow and don't want to go to work on Friday without an action plan

[slatyb]

You say "I'm flattered but it wouldn't work. Let's remain friends."

[Anonymous]

Tell him, if he wasn't married, you'd be glad to lick his pussy.

[Abbycado]

Not. Don’t date coworkers.

[senor_bacon]

Dido yet again, rules for life.

[Kitty10206]

Hi Abby, I did mention in my question that I am a lesbian so this is off the table anyway. What
I need to know is how to deal with this at work because I don't want to be making a fuss

[Anonymous]

I would think “I am a lesbian” would do the trick.

[jahaims]

Tell his wife then cut contact obviously

[Iron_Man]

No not

[Kitty10206]

"what" questions ask for answers, not a yes/no. I would like advice about WHAT to do

[fishbone77]

sure Jan