Engaged guy says he still loves me but goes cold—what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I was chatting to this guy for over a year. We fell in love with each other or so I thought. Whilst we were talking he got into a relationship with another girl, fast forward to this year he has now got engaged to her around February this year. He has messaged me a few times telling he still loves me and then recently telling me he still wants me. Im confused as I still have feelings for him but I dont know what to do? Do I keep being friends with him as thats what we were before we got feelings for each other or do i choose to cut all ties with him as he is giving me mixed signals telling me he wants me and then going cold the next and not replying to my messages.

Updates

3 h

Just to add we did arrange to meet up a few times when we were talking but it never happened not sure why on every reason can't remember now. We spoke on the phone like 3 or 4 times a week not just messaging

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you stop wasting your heart on walking red flags like this guy 😏

He’s engaged, lovebombing you, then ghosting you. That’s not love, that’s emotional cheating and ego-feeding. If he truly wanted you, he wouldn’t be planning a wedding with someone else.

Cut all ties. No “friends,” no replies, no closure talk. Protect your heart, block him, heal, and make space for someone who chooses only you.

[SecretsofKB]

So you’ve only chatted to l with this guy online but he has a whole-ass fiancée in talk life?


Hun, you’re the side piece and barely even that if you haven’t met in person. He is stringing you along and being sneaky about it around his fiancée.


I would eject from this situation like yesterday.

[SecretsofKB]

To address the update: yeah, he agreed to meet up 3-4 times but it always fell through? Because he’s full of it…. Stringing you along hun.

[AviatorTom]

He has obviously moved on with another woman, but wants to keep you around as a spare, just in case.

You should move on too.

[Coercion_Is_Trauma]

I think that the lukewarm talk is what brews obsession. Also "love" is lukwarm talk. I think kiddies in schools did the right thing with their feelings: as soon as there are any feelings, you should say "i have a crush on you". If you do not do that, it drives the feelings into the subconscious and there they multiply. ㅤ

[choco-latte]

No, he’s a red flag and if he cheats on the woman he chose to get engaged to he’ll cheat on you too. I’d stop wasting my time with him and find a free man instead of getting into a love triangle where you’ll just end up hurting yourself and the other woman too.

[MrChinaski]

My take.

1. He genuinely does love you.

2. He's engaged and that's his main focus. I would advise you to assume she will be his main focus forever. I think that's a 99% certainty.

3. He's made his choice; you get to make yours. Do what will take you forward not what will hold you back, whatever that option is to you..

Don't worry about the haters on here. Some folk don't like any kind of relationships that don't look like relationships did on 1960s TV.

[Asker]

Thank you for honest reply it is appreciated. He probably does love me but doing what he thinks is right. I also think I need to move on, I just would have liked us to remain friends, as that what we starred out has. I know it doesn't mean anything but he was younger than me (28).

[Anonymous]

You sound like you're about as ignorant as he is a user. Ask yourself this, what if you were the woman engaged to him and knew this shit was going on with some other woman? Would you really want to marry that kind of man?

Don't be an idiot. Move on.

[Asker]

When I started talking to him he was single and wasn't with anyone at the time.

[Opinion Owner]

So what? That was then, this is now. Are you living in the present or the past?

[Asker]

Im just saying because it's not just me. Im not telling him that I have feelings for him he's the one telling me that.

[melnc]

He's not confused, babe. He just texts when his dick misses you, not his heart.

[melnc]

Phone calls don't mean shit. He had your time, your voice, your feelings, and still chose her. Now he's horny and bored. You're his backup. Block him.

[Asker]

I think that is right with what your saying. I put everything into it from my side and he still chose her despite telling me he was ending things

[melnc]

So what are you planning to do now?

[Asker]

Somehow move on from him. I would have liked us to be friends as thats what we were.

[melnc]

Sorry about what happened.

[jahaims]

You have no self respect