What’s a red flag a lot of people ignore that you would never overlook?

Question

Sometimes the biggest red flags aren’t the super obvious ones… they’re the little things people excuse because they really like someone… Maybe it’s how they talk about their exes, how they handle anger, how they treat people when they’re annoyed, jealousy, lying about small things, or just making you feel uneasy for no reason.

I’m curious though… what’s a red flag you see people overlook that you personally would never ignore?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't know. I guess i don't like the term "red flag". I mean if it's really a red flag i'm probably not even considering her. But most people are the sum of their parts. And to me that's what's more important. What shows why a person is a way they are.

Like if a woman said the last 10 guys she was with cheated on her i'm not even going to consider her. Because what is the common denominator in all those relationships? Her! So what she's telling you is she's attracted to men who cheat. Well, she wouldn't be attracted to me then. So it's best we go our separate ways now.

It's been my experience that most women that are out there are looking for whatever fills her emotionally. It doesn't matter a lot of the time how toxic what it is that fills her. And that is the point in my life i want peace and stability more than i want anything else. If she's still trying to figure out what that even is, then we're not compatible.

So like i say, it's less about red flags and more about who she is. Does she even like me?😆 what are her values? Does she have good morals? Do we have similar views on life and are on the same or similar paths so to speak? Is she family oriented?

It's been my experience that there are few women who want forever (regardless of what they may say) and even fewer capable of it. At this point i honesly don't see myself ever trading in my single status. But if i do, it'll be with a woman i'm very sure about. If not i'm fine to continue this path.👍

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

when their trust is only conditional... or convenient

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I look for fibs bc I know there's no reason to fib with me. A guy gets three chances to communicate with me and each time he wastes it on a fib he loses a chance to get to know me. After the third fib I smile and walk away. Sometimes I block as well bc I don't want to be around liars.

I look for the people he connects himself with. If they're losers and bottom feeders then no matter WHO this person is, those are his friends and at the end of the day that's who he aligns with. They will drag you down collectively.

I look at his family. If they're a mess then he's a mess, especially if he's close to them. (Mind you I'm from an awfully big family, so large we've broken into geographic factions, so I'm sharing.) **A person who has a nice tidy life with NO family is ALSO a red flag.**

I look for a person who is afraid to argue. Easiest way to spot an avoidant jerk who will just drag you around for years is to start a very small argument. Light the fire and see if it takes. If it does and he manages it then he's ok. If it does and he makes a mountain out of a molehill then he's out. And if he runs away from it he's also out.

There's more, but you get the general idea.

thegreenyogi · Accepted Answer

The moment what you feel or the moment a person makes you feel negative emotions that are not good for you. In the past I ignored this and it left me with more bad than good. And that is why whenever I experience that now I distance myself immediately because I recognise the signs and if I want to protect myself it can't be ignored.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to help you dodge walking red flags and find the real deal in love instead of trauma bonds 😏

My never-overlook red flag: how they handle “no.”
No to sex, no to a favor, no to a plan.

If “no” makes them sulk, guilt-trip, lovebomb harder, get cold, or aggressive… that’s control, not love. Run, don’t text back.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Entitlement, which is fine if they are just joking or trying to be cutsie but if they truly have a feeling of entitlement towards someone else but lack to make the push for actual commitment I feel like thats a dangerous path for anyone, which I have seen people here complain about, quite a bit, that the person says this or that or gets bothered by this or that but when it comes down to the truth, they have had the opportunity to start a committed relationship with this person long ago.

The fake "I love yous" from what I heard it's used mostly to hide their wrong doings, I think if someone does something wrong and they use the I love you to get away with it or soften their wrong doing, it's another sign someone should run.

stevenkelly · Answer

For me, it’d be how someone treats people when they have nothing to gain from them. If they’re rude or disrespectful to waiters, strangers, or people they don’t need anything from, I’d definitely pay attention to that. It usually tells you a lot about their character.

Nikki1989 · Answer

One of the biggest red flags that people constantly brush off is how someone treats those who can do nothing for them—a total dealbreaker. It’s easy for anyone to be charming, polite, and attentive when they are trying to impress you.

KBird · Answer

How your partner feels about you spending time with other people, like your friends, your family, work colleagues, people of the opposite-sex / same-sex (depending on your type of relationship). I think its ok if they might dislike a friend, or a family member, but it they start to criticize all of your relationships, and compare it to the time you spend with them, that is something I wouldn't ignore.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, one red flag I would never overlook is how someone treats people who have nothing to offer them.

If someone is charming and respectful around people they want something from, but rude to waiters, cleaners, strangers, or anyone they think is beneath them, I pay attention to that. It tells me much more about their character than how nicely they treat me when they're trying to impress me.

Another big one is never taking responsibility. If every ex is “crazy,” every argument is always someone else’s fault, and they can never admit they were wrong, I’d rather notice that early than learn the hard way.

molonski2 · Answer

Well over here , there are so many red flags it's difficult to name them all , but a precis is 1. Money 2. Attitude 3. Employment 4. Family..

And these guys come over ( it's always guys ) and they just stupidly " don't want to know " they talk as if , everything's for ever , she's different , this , that..

By the time the idiot realises it's too late , game over.

It got worse post CV 19 . Serious idiots.

Lliam · Answer

Support for Israel. It means that they are either 1) to ignorant to put up with or 2) a soulless sociopath.

Phunk_Fenomenon · Answer

women wanting or offering sex to you.

this to me is a major red flag for the fact that unlike us men, women only want sex from you when they know they will get something aside from the act itself out of it.

unfortunately so many men have been so deeply programmed by porn that they lost the ability to analyze this

browsingthroughthe · Answer

Poor communication styles 🗣️ 🔊  Yes even women do it, men do it to their female partners Communication is everything

exitseven · Answer

if she was not very attentive. I do not consider myself needy but sometimes it would be nice if she paid attention ot me and was not so self centered

RavVid · Answer

I would red flag anything that is 'not nice'. If she is not nice to others, in time she won't be nice to you. 'not nice' engenders reciprocation so you'll end up both being not nice to each other... then the relationship is on the scrap heap.

It is a key livability quality and a partner needs to be livable with as well as a good lay.

fish5505_87 · Answer

I don't think it would have mattered, but my wife, when we were dating, kept everything, her apartment was full, now, our house is full and over flowing. I noticed this my first time to her apartment, it was clean, and tidy, just full of stuff.

queenofcardio · Answer

If he reacts negatively to something stupid I've said even if it's a simple comment.

aceleon · Answer

respect, never let them get too loose with you.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Causing stress or any sort of problem. I won't tolerate that effing ish in my life.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

If there relationship is bad with there parents that a red flag for me

Paige2006 · Answer

Being a negative person

loveslongnails · Answer

Talking too much and basic insecurity.

sage2021 · Answer

Disrespect and being rude ❌😐

AngryCarl3 · Answer

racism

Elektra96 · Answer

Bad hygiene.

What’s a red flag a lot of people ignore that you would never overlook?

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