Should I temporarily leave my daughter to move closer to my long-distance partner?

[Anonymous]

I live with my ex still to raise my daughter but she knows were miserable together.

I met a new woman I love in another state, but she can't relocate here for another year, and I will rarely see her if i dont move to her in that time.

I could still see my child at least once a month in that time and I would be coming back to her after this timeframe, but I am afraid to leave her at all, and an LDR is extremely taxing emotionally.

Im so torn. Im so ready to move on with my life but i feel stuck.

Yes

No

[SueShe]

You are facing a whole number of issues that need to be carefully weighed.

- How old is your daughter?

- Do you have a secure job in the other state?

- Will you move in with your new girlfriend or need to spend money on accommodation?

- How is your daughter likely going to take the fact that you "abandon" her?

- Are you OK with a stranger potentially moving in with your ex and raising your daughter and possibly brainwashing her?

There are so many different factors that need to be taken into consideration. Also, how long are you expecting your new relationship to last? Is it a fling limited in time or are you seeing yourself spending the rest of your life with just as you expected to spend the rest of your life with your ex?

[Asker]

there's a whole lot of context I could add to this but didn't want to write an essay. The main point is that my ex and I were never a good fit, we had a surprise baby and i tried my absolute hardest with counseling to make it work for six years for my daughters sake. My daughter is 5 now and she is catching on.

I actually love this woman im seeing now. My own parents stayed in a loveless marriage to raise my brother and I even when I was of the opinion they should divorce as a teen. I dont want my daughter to see her parents hate eachother. But i dont want to ruin her life. Im not walking away from her for good. But i do need to move on somehow very soon.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Your child and the relationship to your child is much more important than any woman or romantic relationship. It’s your duty as a parent as well to take care of your kid. You will hurt your kid and it’s also not fair on the mother to just up and leave and force her to take care of your kid fulltime, especially without support. Being a different stare you’re no support. You can see your girlfriend once a month then. And make sure you are properly separated before you start anything with someone new. It’s not ok before you actually ended things for real and moved apart. Even if your ex knows, it’s not ok and will just make things messy and you risk your child thinking you cheated.

[Asker]

Actually I've taken measures to see to it that my daughter and her mom would be taken care of financially. Our living situation is complicated, but we never married and are currently living as roommates in separate rooms. No one else is allowed here. She would keep the house thats paid for so my daughter has a home. I would leave no more than a year. I won't be able to see this woman once a month. But i can see my daughter that much if i left. The why doesn't matter, thats just the way it is.

If that adds context.

[Anonymous]

If she's under 18 you should not leave her for any reason.

[jahaims]

You are a trash parent