Am I wrong to ask my partner to stop texting an opposite-sex friend?

[Anonymous]

My SO has had a thing, since we started, if something made the other upset, we would take care of it. But now they have a friend, of the opposite sex that gives me a very uncomfortable feeling. They just met a few months back but my SO refuses to stop texting and calling them. Am I wrong for asking this of them?

[FunkyMonkee]

I guess it depends on the kind of relationship they have. I harken back to the early `80's when I first met my guitarist's girlfriend. Within a few weeks, I guess, she and I would get on the phone and talk for hours. Partly because, if I called to talk to him, he took FOREVER to formulate a response to anything he was asked. So, a conversation anybody else could have in about 2 minutes would take 10:00 with him. Whereas, she and I could just start talking and yammer on about loads of different things for hours. Until they broke up 2.5 years later, she & I were like the brother and sister neither of us ever had. We each HAD such siblings but in neither case were they very friendly towards us! I guess she had it harder because she was adopted.
But, we got on GREAT together and even stayed friends for the next 40 years.
Also, I never denied my girlfriend male friends and she never denied me female friends but I never had any. She had a few. Sadly, she left me for one after 10 years together. But, with her, it was all about money! At that point, he had lots and I hardly had any. So, essentially, she wasn't a real girlfriend anyway.
Sit down and discuss this situation with her. Let her know what you're feeling but try not to make it an argument. I don't think it's at all fair for one party to deny the other friendships just because they don't have the same crotch alignments! To me, it tends to show a kind of ownership. Do you own her or are you in love with her? Is she in love with you? Does she mind if you have female friends?
Neither of you can help that you've got those specific parts between your legs so, I don't think it's a great idea to "dictate" who either of you can and can't be friends with based just on that. If this guy did bad things to her, I can see you getting upset. If he's trying to swing her away from you, romantically, I can see you getting upset over that. I tend to see people as people rather than male or female so, I don't understand why it's okay for her to be friends with one person and not the other just because they have different bits between their legs.

[AviatorTom]

There's nothing wrong with an SO having friends, of either sex. It's wrong of you to be over-controlling.

[Nikki1989]

So you are obviously not 45 years old or older then?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship drama and spot red flags without losing your mind 💋

You’re not wrong for asking, but the *demand* itself is tricky. Feeling uncomfortable is valid, especially with a new opposite-sex “friend” suddenly getting a lot of attention.

The real issue: your SO refusing to reassure you. If they dismiss your feelings, that’s the red flag, not the friend. You deserve transparency, boundaries, and consistency, not “trust me” while they emotionally breadcrumb you.

[NathanDavis]

Yes.

and you're also wrong for staying with someone you cannot trust

[dudeinohio]

No. It is inappropriate to have opposite sex friends when in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Ahh so you know of her backup plan orbiter. My advice dump her crush her self esteem break her ego

[Anonymous]

If you want them to, then say so

[Asker]

I have, they refuse

[In_Trance]

Dump them.