Would you be okay with your significant other texting a coworker of the opposite gender from time to time?

[Anonymous]

Not really flirting? But he/she does send them encouraging text. For example, he/she just started a new job and your significant other texted them to ask them how the job is going? He or she says, "great doing well over here". Your SO replies with, "Aw that's good at least! See I knew you'd do great !".

Yes

No

[Finchie40]

Only if it’s work related , and it shouldn’t be a continuous thing , if it’s starts to be a continuous thing where they begin to talk on a steady basis then yes you have a right to be concerned , that it could possibly lead into flirting and saying things to each other that is inappropriate , considering she is already in a relationship with you. The signs to look out for is if your girlfriend starts prioritizing her co worker and they are having longer conversations instead of just work related questions , Most guys assume a girl is interested in him if she makes him a priority by being to friendly and contacting him on a regular basis , making him think she has the hots for him and in just a matter of time he might start flirting with her thinking he has a chance and sadly it’s a 50/50 chance whether she is vulnerable to his flirting or she is the type of girl that says no way I respect my relationship and will tell this con worker to back off , If your girlfriend starts to get to close and personal with this co worker your best bet is to express your feelings of concern to her and tell her that you feel a little uncomfortable with her friendship with her co worker , tell her How would she feel if you had this type of communication with a female co worker? If she says she would be fine with it , she is talking out her ass , just tell her it comes down to respect for each other , if she doesn’t see your side of things then she is clearly a selfish person that only cares about herself , , if she loves and values you she will distance herself from this co worker period to show respect in the relationship. If she doesn’t and says you are being insecure and you don’t trust her? Kick her to the curb where she belongs

[hahahmm]

Depends. If she is using the guy for emotional support in any way, I have a simple question for her: "Do you mind If I start confiding in that hot neighbor with the huge tits and perfect legs? Nothing weird. Just want to be helpful." If her answer is 'no', then she needs to stop DMing that dude at her job. If her answer is yes, believe me, I'd have no problem getting a bunch of hot women to text.

if she's a charity worker type who is nice to everybody -- to me that is a potential safety issue. I know there's wolves in sheep's clothing out there. I know some guys are trying to get in every woman's panties and some dudes are 'rapey'. Being platonic friends can easily go into the dude saying, "i have an emergency can you come to my house for a second to get my kitten" or some bs. It's my job to protect my wife.

[Asker]

Man idek. I mean, she even texted him that she was crying in her car the day the company closed. Like, why are you telling him this and not me?

[hahahmm]

I think she is still on the market... it's not unusual for one person in a couple to think the relationship is a joke while the other person thinks it's very serious. The person who is on the market just uses you for whatever they can while still looking. Now there's two ways of looking at it: 1.) Maybe you could improve yourself and be more competitive. 2.) You could dump her and do #1 before getting with another woman.

It'd be a bad assumption to think you don't need to do #1, because if you didn't then most likely you would already have a woman who thinks it's WAY more important for you not to think she's on the market/open to other dudes so she won't lose you.

My $0.02 -- also check out my mytakes for my POV on other relationship issues as a traditional guy.

[Asker]

And the day they closed, she texted him, "It was nice working with you. I hope you the best at your new job. Even though I know you'll do great!" He texted her back with, "Thanks! Go knock those bucket list items off, and don't let anybody put you down" etc. She responded with, Stopp that was sweet you're gonna make me cry"

[hahahmm]

She likes the ego stroke of the guy saying nice things to her. Now, maybe it's harmless but I've told you the risks/possibilities. Check out my mytake on leadership, if you like.

[Anemone978]

I suppose.. my husband does text girl coworkers which I didn't know about until I broke into his phone but it was always work related or like for a ride to work or something. So I didn't really care..

[AmandaYVR]

Yes. There are no leashes in my relationships. Cannot just pretend that half the population doesn't exist.

[California_Poppy]

I have experienced this with my SO and I really REALLY don't like it.
With the opposite gender, I prefer it is exclusively about work, if at all.

[California_Poppy]

Clearly not everyone agrees with me, so I guess I have an unpopular opinion. But in my opinion it's one thing to be friendly with a coworker. Obviously you have to maintain some level of relationship with them, but it's another to continue a relationship outside of work -- Then it gets into the question of whether or not you are generally okay with your SO having opposite gender friendships. And if so, how close?

I am okay with opposite gender friendships to a certain extent. For me it's a matter of how close.
I get why some people have no boundaries there, and it's probably because they have never experienced the negative outcome of such a thing.

I have been cheated on, so I recognize that I probably have a bias here. But you would be a fool to ignore the fact that most affairs happen in the workplace. I have also seen it with my SOs work. Many of his coworkers are actively maintaining affairs.
People probably start a friendship with innocent intentions, but when you spend most of your time at work it's not hard to get really close to someone.

All that being said, I am NOT a proponent of controlling your SO and their social life. You should always trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt unless they give you a reason to think otherwise. Everyone has different boundaries and you should establish boundaries that YOU and your SO are comfortable with and talk to them about it.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

No need for a long explanation. You're right

[Smashingdoozy]

Yeah? That's just being a decent human being. How insecure do people have to be to be bothered by that 😭

[LovingLoverReturned]

I don't mind as long as it isn't flirting. I don't even want to know? How would I know anyway if I'm not snooping in his phone. As long as they don't meet up to hangout then I don't see any problem

[EricSummer]

Yes, this is fine.

If you have a partner who cannot be faithful or does not want to be faithful then no amount of control can save you, anyway.

It's a good thing to have friends, also at the workplace.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Many if not most adult friendships come from the workplace. Many spend more time there than anywhere else, so it provides the largest opportunity to meet people with at least one commonality already in place.

[AaronKrieger]

Sure, I'd probably want to meet the guy, so it overall feels less weird. Any of my own good female friends who have partners I like to at least be acquaintances with, so they might not worry about me having bad intentions.

[richardcory]

Completely fine for my SO to have friends of either gender, and I do as well. If my wife runs off with some random guy from work, we never had a valuable relationship in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I am ok with it. In my work we have a group chat, males and females we all just text there. I barely need to text anyone in private we are mainly women 8 women and 2 guys they are both super stable men. One of them by no means accepts weird comments that men make towards us at times as clients. The other is 19 so its all good😂

[provokeesmokee]

Yes and if yours isn't, red flag.

Codependency and isolating a partner aren't attractive behaviours. They're verging on abusive.

[Miristheiss]

No.

Nothing social with male co-workers outside of work. No being "pals" and "chummy" via text with other guys.

[Anonymous]

The example you gave is perfectly fine and cordial and seems like an exchange between two friends but I don’t understand why they’d be regularly texting? Like how often?

[Asker]

Not that often. I mean, when they worked together it was everyday until she came home. Now that the company closed (Friday), she just texted him for maybe an hour and that's it

[BoopBoopBeep]

I talk with two of my former coworkers 4-5x a week. So did my last S. O.

[Keishio]

From the example you gave I'd have no issues with that. I think it's a good thing to make new people feel welcomed into a new place. Work friendships are going to be a thing and you need to be adult enough to accept that

[Agape93]

Yeah, they can talk to who they want and when they want. I'm their partner, not their dictator.

[sheikalana]

As long as they're not flirting with each other or having other type of conversations I'm okay with that.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I wouldn't be concerned about that specifically. Keep an eye on it though

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Be on the look out for the "Lol, you're so cute" texts

[Nikki1989]

We don't text so that will never happen, but yeah, he can talk to whomever he wants.

[BlackJeep]

I do it and I show her the conversation. My friends are her friends

[TacosRAwesome]

Of course. If that's all the texts are like I don't see anything terrible with them.

[Meropatrick]

Totally fine. These texts are normal and respectful.

[boobliker]

it's ok time to time but not every day

[Asker]

It wasn't every day. She texted him a little thing before the company closed. It was something like, "It was nice working with you, I wish you all the best of luck at your new job. You did great here and I know you'll do great at the new job". Then he replied with, " Thanks! Go check them bucket-list items off and be you. Don't let anyone put you down and whatever you do, do it 100%.". She replied with, "Stop you're going to make me cry that was sweet".

[California_Poppy]

If it ends there, I would say try to drop it. If they continue a friendship, I would be a bit more concerned.

[Asker]

@California_Poppy I mean, she texted him today. Sent him pictures of some shirts she's working on for her little business. Hit him up and asked him how everything was going? He said great sold 2 cars. She replied, "Aww see I knew you could do it! That's awesome!". Maybe I am overthinking I don't know.

[California_Poppy]

They no longer work together?

[Asker]

@California_Poppy Nope, the company closed.

[SadisticSlxt]

I would fully expect to do the same and make them aware im no longer interested in the long haul