Is it okay for the girl to say “I love you” first? And is it okay to say to your significant other for the first time over text?

[Carolinagirl04]

I have been having this very strong feelings for my boyfriend and I honestly just want to shout it from the roof tops to him. We are also long distance so that’s why I asked if it was okay to say over text for the first time or is this something that should be said face to face? Like will it lose its significance through text? I’m just kinda scared to say it in person for some reason I’m not really sure why though?

[CubsterShura]

When I started getting interested in a guy I was the one who initiated our hangouts. I confessed my feelings to him first, and I told him "I love you" first. Of course, I didn't do EVERYTHING first as he actually actually initiated our first kiss, and if that is a valid form of confessing your feelings and words aren't your only way, you could actually say that he expressed his feelings for me before I did. We were dating for a bit when we went out and all but weren't exclusive yet, but he actually asked me to be his girlfriend first, to be in an exclusive relationship.

It worked very well for us. He tells me that he was actually no longer interested in "chasing" women. I, on the order hand, was tired of feeling like I am at the mercy of being "picked" and wanted to start actively pursuing men that I like and do the picking myself.

To be very honest I was scared that I'll be the one dragging the whole relationship and he will put zero effort seeing that I'm doing things for him and he will take me for granted, but that doesn't happen when you learn to see the red and green flags in men and I'm more confident in my choice in men since I started getting help for my mental health issues that were keeping me in bad relationships.

[CubsterShura]

Forgot to mention that since you're in a long distance relationship, I highly recommend being on a video call if you want to tell him that you love him! That's way better than texting.

[Alli39]

Do it if you want to and how you feel comfortable. I know that some people really value the first time it being said being in person/out loud, but it's kind of up to you as to what you think your boyfriend thinks/prefers. I'd suggest that, if in person isn't an option in the near future, trying to at least be in a voice call of some kind just in case it is really important to him, but otherwise do it the way you want to. You clearly mean it and I would hope he'd be nothing by proud, honored, and happy to have you feel that way about him and be willing to say it.

[Anonymous]

I’m hesitant on saying yes. I get that it’s 2023, girls can ask out men, etc, etc. But the reason I’m hesitant is because women tend to know faster than men as far as their feelings for a man. For a man it tends to take longer, unless the girl has been through some traumatic relationships before she may have her guard up. If you told him you loved him he may reciprocate it by saying the same, but does he really love you or is he just saying it cause you said it? It could put you in an awkward position especially for him if he doesn’t know how to respond because he isn’t exactly at that point of loving you the way you love him. Which may upset you, question his feelings for you, etc. I think it takes men a little longer just cause most of us aren’t in tune w our feelings like that. Too if you’ve been burned in the past by a girl you had strong feelings for, he may be very guarded. But if you choose to do so, doing it over text doesn’t seem like the appropriate way to go.

[Reem12345reem]

i thought that women take longer to fall in love?

[Opinion Owner]

@Reem12345reem maybe some but in my experience women tend to know right away how they feel about a man. Men aren’t really in touch w our feelings so a lot of times you’re not sure what you’re feeling.

[Reem12345reem]

I think it's the opposite lol

[Opinion Owner]

@Reem12345reem either way she can tell him, her choice. That’s just me as a man if a girl told me that.

[AviatorTom]

It's okay to say "I love you" whenever you feel like it. It's not a good idea to text the first "I love you" though... that may just be interpreted as a positive comment. The first "I love you" should be in person, followed by a hug and a kiss.

[kylee2437]

If you feel it - say it. I recommend saying it in person. You will have a more meaningful experience with him when you say it to his actual face.

[Pinay_ako]

There’s no right or wrong moment to say those three big words if you truly mean them.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever met in person? How many times over what timespan?

[Anonymous]

It is far more powerful as the spoken word. The best thing I ever did was tell my partner i love her. We had known each other for 11 years, after ice skating and seeing Christmad lights from an airplane on our first date, before we landed I looked at her, her native American skin glowing under the moonlight, and she looked perfect, the words felt right, so I told her I love her. She looked at me like she just realized somethings obvious and told me she loves me too. That was New Years Eve, we've been dating ever since and now we are moving in together

If it feels right, say it.

[RingOfFire]

If you are going to say it I would say it in person. It is a memorable moment and you want to experience that memory up close and personal. There is always a risk when you say it first that he might not welcome it and have reciprocal feelings. It could cause him to be in an awkward situation of not wanting to hurt your feelings but not feeling it the same way you do. So be prepared. On the other hand nothing ventured nothing gained.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter who makes the first i love you.
Also the first i love being done over text is fine if you do it right.
As an example: “hey my time with has been some of the best and look forward to every moment with you. I truly love you and want you know that your amazing.” Something like that. You’ve gotta treat it like a spontaneous confession. I’m not exactly a master at such things but I’m sure you get it.

[madhatters4]

certainly fine to say it first. it would be best to say it in the most intimate setting as possible so either face to face, chatting over the phone or as a last resort text

[MilaRay]

I’ve been told I love you 5 times before I said it back. I’ve told someone that I loved them first a few times before they said it back to me. Both times I genuinely meant it when it was said. Both times I got played

[katiesmuff]

I certainly can't see anything wrong with the girl being the first to be open and truthful about how she feels about her boyfriend.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's fine to say it first. Don't say it over text though. That's so tacky and makes it seem insincere.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s fine. You guys are LDR. Saying it by text is fine. And it’s totally cool for the girl to say it first.

[ShesRad80]

so much more in person the first time, you can do it ✌💕

[sheenagwapa]

why noy? i don't understand wht we have to hold our feelings. life is short

[sheikalana]

Showing that you love someone means so much more than saying it. Words are just words.

[andreasderjuengere]

These words make me uncomfortable.

Shall I honestly, or shall I answer?

[ButthurtGAGpeople1]

The girl i like, has said i love you to me. I've never said it, only because I wasn't sure why she was saying it

[ButthurtGAGpeople1]

I guess what I'm getting at is, make sure you know why you're saying it, before you say it. She will also sort of play around with people by saying it to them too. That's really the only reason why I was unsure why she was saying it to me.

She reassured me she was just sort of messing with them but, it made me wonder, well "is she just messing with me, too".

So, again, make sure if you say it, that you know WHY you're saying it, not just that you're saying it

[DaBiggestBird]

Of course, they dont need to worry about federal charges or whatever

[SolitarySolace]

Women are the more emotional creatures so it would make sense they be the ones to say it first

[BlackJeep]

If you can't hold it in then just go for it. It means more in person

[KatherineJ]

If you love him, tell him. But not by text!!!

[ElvenMr]

It's okay to say it first. It'd be better if you could say it to him in person, but it's nice throught text as well.

[imfreeze95]

I would say yes just be prepared for an awkward response. Even if he does love you men dont express emotions as readily as women as a general rule.

[AimeeKyle]

Absolutely, no issues. Go with your feelings.

[007kingifrit]

yes girl can say it first, but text is a bit silly

[MadhuriDixit]

Of course it's OK... its 2023!

[dreamer123912]

Say it in person or on video call

[slatyb]

Someone has to be first.

[RavVid]

Don't see why not. Someone has to be first.

[BarryLiverstone]

When will you see next time irl?

[Carolinagirl04]

Next weekend. Friday

[BarryLiverstone]

Wait for then.

[Carolinagirl04]

I know I should but it’s just driving me like crazy I just want to tell him!! It’s a really crazy feeling actually…. I feel like those people you see in like a 90s movie

[BarryLiverstone]

Go ahead and write him a love letter. Use pen and paper, no computers. Write out all your feelings and keep going until you are empty. That’s not only going to help you with your rush of emotions but then before you see him read it so you better know what to say to him next weekend. You then choose to give him the letter or not.

[Carolinagirl04]

Thanks that really helped! But what if I said it on like FaceTime? Or should I just wait?

[BarryLiverstone]

Wait

[genericname85]

i don't see a problem with it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Of course it's okay! 🙂

[whistlingwh0res]

my gaydar telling me he is gay

[whistlingwh0res]

free your lesbian side. you will be much happier

[SnowedIn]

Totally okay, yes!

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yup.

[clampfan101]

Yes, and yes.