Would you be okay if your significant other adds a female/male coworker on Facebook without you knowing about it?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and I have a problem with him adding female coworkers on his facebook, I find disrespectful, there's no need, you go to work to do one thing which his make money not make friends. I dont know this girl, so I dont know her intentions, how would you feel if you were in my shoes?

akihon · Accepted Answer

Well you have a major problem here, you see you do t have any right to complain about it because unless I'm mistaken it's women who have defined what constitutes abuse and if you try to stop him then you're effectively separating him fro a social circle and that's abuse.

Now, there is also another issue, do you have male friends on your social media, if you do then your also in an excel shakier position because of your hypocrisy why is that your allowed but he isn't.

You see then you are living in a glass House and throwing stones and your also part of a section of society that had changed things in such a way that your now being affected by those changes.

mantock · Accepted Answer

Wow slow the heck down lady.
You sound like a control freak. And that is exactly why he will end up cheating on you and destroying That unhealthy sounding marriage. Back off and stop being so toxic.

Who stresses their husband for connecting with their co-workers on Facebook? Do you pick and choose his friends for him too? Keep that up and you will be cheated on. I guarantee it.

Give the man some space and respect!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I say you are being unreasonable , You seem to have trust issues. Maybe adding his female co-workers on FB helps him to communicate about his work schedule that way he doesn't waste time driving just to write down his hours down. It can be useful. My grandmother would always say if an is a cheater he will find ways to cheat , He will never alarm his wife. I communicate with my male boss and coworkers on social media only to talk about business project presentations or sales goals and I'm married .

AwesomeCookie · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't mind. My less mature and insecure self of the old would have been 100 percent against it. Now I'm like yah whatevs, cause I would never do anything inappropriate but if he did then it was bound to happen whether or not they're friends on social media.

jss123 · Answer

Some of my best friends are women from work. I've known them for years. I wouldn't dream of having a relationship with them though.

I do understand your concern though. My ex wife had an affair with her coworker. My ex after her did exactly the same.
If he has cheated then you do have need for concern. I reckon he probably wouldn't have added the coworkers if he intended cheating with them.
My ex was very covert with the affair for a long time. She certainly didn't add him on FB. Best way of telling is they change how they talk to and respond to you. Mine became arrogant and rude. They also stop having sex with you or cut it down dramatically. I tend to now look for red flags like that.

Papajohns · Answer

Facebook is for friends. You are trying to control who his friends are and it makes you seem very insecure.

tooturntT · Answer

Yeah if they make friends, it’s not my place to stop them. It’s just going to lead to arguments and him not seeing what’s wrong. It also depends on her reputation. If she’s known for being a homewrecker, I’d probably lose it, but if I don’t know her I can’t judge her. I’d be inevitably jealous, but that’s just Bc he’s my manz.

Bárbara1402 · Answer

i don't think that you should worry to much about that. unless you start to see a change of behaviour or something.
we often car too much about social media that we let it controls us and our lives.
there's nothing wrong with having friends at work, someone to chat and vent about your worries in life. we are not machines, to produce only money. we need to have some kind of social interactions, that's part of being a human.

R_ūshī · Answer

Idm my boyfriend having girl friends. I like to give people space. We're together but we both have our own life. I mean I have guy friends too.

His actions will tell me if he's worthy of my time. I already told him. He lies once, he forgets about me.

morimeme1 · Answer

I wouldn't care, it is often just common courtesy. I know my boyfriend just accepts all the friend invites he gets and only deletes someone if their posts get on his nerve. Wouldn't want to be the unreasonable jealous girlfriend who makes drama because of something so trivial. My relationships is based on trust afterall.

blondiekatie · Answer

I mean without me knowing about it he don't have to run everything by me he does however I don't play when it comes to certain things like my guy talking to other women online or texting or even in public because some women can be really funny and flirt with your man even when you're there! I'm the jealous type because I care haha

Primrose21 · Answer

I think you are overboard. I don't see anything wrong with adding friends on fb. I even accept strangers (depends on my mood) sometimes. Workplace are not just strictly for money. You can create great friendship in there and building connections to improve your career.

Hill16 · Answer

Honestly think it's a massive overreaction unless he is only friends with females of a similar age. I'm friends on FB with about 20 people from my last job, males and females and dont see why it should be any concern. Sounds like the issue here is a lack of trust

sadassad · Answer

If he wants he can make friends male or females. Aren't you allowed to have male friends? So why can't he have female friends. Going to work doesn't mean you have to be antisocial. Having a good relationship with your coworker will surely brighten your day in the work space.

Usernamesrdumb · Answer

I dont do Facebook. However for my significant other, its a networking thing. I dont care at all. In fact I encourage her to. I like us both to be successful and make $.
If people are going to cheat, why the hell would you let social media tell on you? Its counterintuitive.

1truekhaleesi · Answer

Lol. My best friend is also my coworker. Besides it's Facebook. I add random people I don't really know and will only delete them if they creep me out. Don't let your insecurities about Facebook ruin a good thing.

katjmj · Answer

It's part of his experience as a person. Why would you make his world revolve around you? Sharing this meme cuz it's too real lol

yarmolinsky · Answer

No issue there, it's a social media contact, does not mean necessarily they are flirting, are you jealous or insecure about his behaviour on social media? Maybe have an open discussion first, rather than accumulating hatred or anger about social media contacts!

Flower7 · Answer

I don't think it's unusual to add coworkers on Facebook. She must be very pretty for you to feel concerned about it. Do they seem very close or like/comment on each others' posts a lot?

koolkal · Answer

I think you're paranoid. There's nothing wrong with befriending coworkers on FB, as long as he's not obsessed with it.

R4vedave · Answer

I'd have no problem with it. It's just social media ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dinklex3 · Answer

You sound pretty possessive.  I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I have my coworkers on social media and it means nothing.

Jessymjr · Answer

id be okay with it as long as were both happy and we get to see eachother and have a good laugh or anything together its a okay by me

RHK36 · Answer

It should be a non issue. FB is the correct social media to add a friend or coworker. I wouldn't care if my s/o made friends just as long as they don't lie about it.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

wouldn't care it fb.. now if he's commenting and liking every picture thats where I draw the line

GreenGold1992 · Answer

that's not very fair, he should be allowed to be friends with his coworker, you shouldn't control him like that, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

AlongCameCindy · Answer

I would say no I don’t care, but from experience I have reasons to, If they add him first wouldn’t bother me but if he added them first I wouldn’t like it

Anonymous · Answer

I dont really care much. Whatever they do is their thing. But of course im not doing a long term thing so that might differ if you're putting effort into it.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

You're overreacting. Lots of people at work automatically send friend requests to every co-worker they have.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure, why not. We are always open about whom we're talking with online.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's cool. I'm not insecure like that to get bothered a Facebook friend.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I trust my partner.

meltwithme · Answer

Not at all. I believe we should be ourselves at all times

outside_Toronto · Answer

I think you're ridiculous

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't have any problems with it. I have many friends from the opposide gender myself.

Laozi · Answer

Yup. It's completely okay.

anithasharm · Answer

It’s not a problem unless it crosses the line.

Agem123 · Answer

You seem insecure. After 6 years, really?

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

Yes why should I care who she adds on Facebook

whatyoudoing83 · Answer

I hate fb for this fact

lovasucka · Answer

I’d probably be a bit jealous too

Nahid1707 · Answer

I think you shouldn’t hide stuff from your partner

Plitty-Tank · Answer

I don't care who she adds. I would trust her.

Would you be okay if your significant other adds a female/male coworker on Facebook without you knowing about it?

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Would you be okay if your significant other adds a female/male coworker on Facebook without you knowing about it?

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