Relationships
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Why does my ex still affect me more than my friend’s emotional apology?

In 2025 I stopped talking to my coworker/ friend because she called me while i was sick, told me that she wanted some space, acknowledge that she was avoiding me on purpose and that sometimes I say unnecessary things that don't sit well with her. We work together 5 years but she got a different shift. That shift still allows her to be friends with my ex and hang with him, but also I work one day with my ex as well. When she's there he spends one break with me and one with her. Anyway my ex is gone now and the week after he left, she approached me. She said she misses our friendship said that she kept thinking of me but i was the one who needed space, that we had some kind of miscommunication, we shouldn't bring up the past anymore and the initial conversation doesn't sound like her. She even cried but I felt numb, told her I didn't know what to say. She started trying to sit with me at lunch again. Im not impressed at all and eating at work is fine but I don't want to hang out outside of work like she wishes.
Now the same day talking to her again, my ex texted me asking about my feelings and if I hate him. I dont like how it links up during the same time as her confession so I ask why he's asking. Then he ignores my text and goes around my question says he was drunk texting, only sent this to me, and doesn't remember anything else but sorry. I felt panic, mad, confused, and still anxious. He pisses me more than she does.
I know it's all dumb but I don't know why I can be completely numb to her crying in front of me, and he's far away but can still leave me distraught.
Why does my ex still affect me more than my friend’s emotional apology?
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