How do you respond when someone who blew you off finally reaches out to you?

[Anonymous]

So a girl that I've had a very hard time trying to build a relationship with recently blew me off. She and I had a fling before she had to move several states away. We stayed in touch for the next 3 months, very friendly. Then I went to visit her about a month ago and the attraction was still there. We seem to feel extremely comfortable around each other. Problems is she is there and I'm here. She moved for a job, but has yet to get it due to the fact she has failed her boards. She has done this 3times now. She did the first before her move, then again a couple of months later and now just last week. She is obviously disappointed in herself and stressed at what she's supposed to do with herself. The job they've held the previous 2 times but I'm not sure about now. I'm not sure because I haven't talked to her since her failure. I called the night of her finding out and she didn't answer but texted me after my call saying she wasn't in a good mood to talk because she had failed. I told her if there was anything I could do let me know, and she thanked me. I waited 4 days later, which was this Sunday and texted her, "hope you're OK. When you feel you can talk, give me a call." She said thanks and she was feeling a little better and would give me a call Mon or Tues. Well its late Tues and I have got no call. So now I am hurt by her blowing me off. I know she is going through a very tough time right now but I still don' t think that's a great reason to tell me one thing and not follow through, especially since I've been very supportive of her through all 3 of the failures. She is supposed to be home for Thansgiving, so I wanted to keep things good between us till then so we could meet up face to face, but now I don't know what to think.

I guess my question is how do I respond to her if she contacts me? I feel I should wait for her to reach out to me since she owes me the call but I don't know how I should act when she calls. I feel she should know I'm upset with her but I don't want to chew her out or attack her when she's going through a tough time. I am a very understanding person but don't want to be poorly treated, and I am sure there are good ways to deal with a situation like this but I am not familiar with any.

Updates

+1 y

Oh and I'd like advice on how to respond whether she sends a text or calls. Obviously I'd prefer to talk to her but if she texts me with an apology or an excuse I'd like to be ready too. Thanks all.

[DragonLord]

I'll be honest with you it depends on if you are mad at her or not so it's up to you how are you are going to deal with it or deal with her and I don't know how to advice you but maybe this helps you or not I'll tell you this though if it was me if she blew me off I give her one more chance she better not blew me off again. But if however she blew me off again that's it I'm done with her I stay away from her I'll be moving on and flirt with other women and find someone else who accepts me for who I am and cut all communications with that woman or that girl who blew me off and never talk to her ever again if it's about her new boyfriend abusing her and if anything about her new boyfriend no matter if he is good or bad. so that's what I would do if it was me and it depends on what you wanted to do I can't advice because I honestly don't know so it depends basically I hope this helps you, I hope this answers your question and if you got anything to ask me or if you got any questions you like to ask me feel free to ask me and I will see if I can answer your question.

[martyfellow]

Try not to put pressure on her in this time. She probably won't be up for any sort of a relationship until she finally passes those boards!

[Deft_maiden]

After reading your very long explanation(lol) it appears you are Putting more effort into this than she. You like her that much? You seem like a honest and genuine guy. She should feel lucky. Having said that she also appears driven and goal oriented an asset in many ways but can be a detriment to a relationship. Her mind is elsewhere and you need to understand/ realize that. You seem fixated and almost obsessed with her. The fact is that this relationship at best will be a long distance one. You up for that?

If it was me Id keep her in the back of my mind but would not spend my mental energy for such a risky proposition. If she texts you be nice and keep conversations level just enough so when she comes to bison u'll see her. Have a good time but keep your expectations to a minimum . Don't get too emotionally involve unless you see some consistent and definite signs from her over a long period of time. Otherwise your setting yourself up for a heartache . And you have no one to blame but yourself.

[DragonLord]

so are us nice guys and good guys suppose to never show emotions at all if she said I love you to us we suppose to be like han solo way and never admit it just say I know and be hard to get and play hard to get and turn her own games around at her

[Deft_maiden]

How did you arrive to this conclusion? I said he is putting more effort than she is and until he gets a similar vibe from her on consistent basis he should be nice and friendly. Lowering expectations is not the same as what you depicted. One should spend their emotional capital and mental energy in proportion to what is in front of him.

[DragonLord]

OK thanks now I get you answer I must apologize I thought you were talking about never show her emotions at all so I'm sorry for the misconception

[Deft_maiden]

No problem :))

[Anonymous]

Nothing better then to ignore someone who reaches out to you after treating you like SHIT!.

On how to respond, just don't.