Found a picture of him with a girl in his wallet?

[lieber]

I guess I am becoming a regular here. I really appreciate the time you put in answering my questions.

So I've been seeing this guy for over 8 months now. Got serious 1.5 months back. He's busy, I'm busy so we usually meet only once a week. (I will be willing to meet more but he's always busy)

Yesterday over dinner he took out his wallet and it was torn. I wanted to take look at it, but he absolutely refused to give it to me. So today while he was in shower (I know it is a bad sneaky thing to do, please don't judge) I took a look inside his wallet and I found his ex's picture. I got so upset that I just didn't want to talk to him at all. I just stayed silent through out the ride to my home and got off his car. He kept asking me what was wrong. Naturally I couldn't tell him that I went through his stuff. So I just kept quite. Later he IM-d me what's wrong and I told him a story (his alarm went of in the middle of the night twice.) that I thought somebody called him in the night and I was upset. I also told him because of this incident I realized how much it would hurt if he will leave me for another girl. So if he wasn't planning on something long term and serious I'd better get myself out of this relationship. He was saying "You are already making decisions based on an alarm?" and also he said that I was being jealous. I told him if it was simple jealousy it would be easier and this thought has been brewing inside me for a month now. Since then he's quiet. Should I just leave him and move on? or am I making a big deal out of nothing. I understand that we all have our emotional baggage but keeping it in his wallet?

Updates

+1 y

For reference, I am not clingy and everything is OK with my self confidence. But I've been with a guy who played me before (we even talked marriage). I just want things to be absolutely clear from the start.

[mia92]

you really need to tell him you went through his wallet and what you saw. just be honest with him, because if anything you made it worse by what you said made you angry. it makes you sound a little paranoid and very jealous. however, if you tell him "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it, but I looked in your wallet. You refused to let me look at it and I just was really worried why. But I saw the picture of you and you're ex... " then ask him why he still keeps a photo of her. sure it was wrong of you to go through his stuff, but I think it's worse that he's kept a picture of his ex, and THAT was why he was hiding it from you. you have a right to be mad at him, and he'll probably be annoyed at you for going through his stuff... but frankly, if he didn't LET you look at it, any smart person would know, it would make you wonder why. just tell him the truth... if he's an ass about it then move on, because if that's the case it might mean maybe he still hasn't moved on.

[lieber]

Thanks Mia92. That was my original plan but then I chickened out. He can be a bit insensitive and very strict (because of his upbringing, being an orphan raised by his sister and he's been living pretty much on his own since his teens when his parents passed away).

[mia92]

don't worry about it. you didn't do anything terrible, you were understandably really curious. I would have done the same in your position. but he's the one with a pic of his ex in his wallet, and you don't need to stand for that. it's disrespectful to you and you can tell him, it's making you feel like he's not over his ex. if that's the case you wouldn't want to be with him anymore. if he's really over her and wants to be with you, he'll apologize for keeping the picture and throw it away.

[Anonymous]

You saw the truth with your own eyes but he's trying to deflect it with his comments. He's playing you. You saw a pic of another girl and his response is "you're really gonna leave me over this? you're being jealous" After this, you questioned yourself and backed off the issue, even though you know you're not insecure and aren't clingy.

Did you find out who the girl was and what is his relationship to her? Was he forthcoming with that information and how did it sound? Believable?

[lieber]

Well the problem is I didn't tell him I saw the pic. So I didn't ask anything. I just stayed quiet. So that I won't say anything stupid. + I was afraid to tell him I was snooping in his wallet. :(