Why does he praise his ex girlfriend in front of me, when he says he loves me?

[TessAshwin]

Me and My guy friend really like each other a lot , we are so good together , but yet he has a past , he sometimes brings up his ex girlfriend and begins to praise her and talk of all stuff she would say and do . I go mad when I think of all this. He says he loves me but I don't get it why does he talk about his ex and praise her voice and everything else...

[Anonymous]

I had ex's like that... they won't exactly praise her, but bring up old memories with her, and it seemed like they made him happy... I can't control how he feels though, they broke up for a reason... when he brings her up I try not to be jealous... one time my ex asked if I wanted to see a pic of his ex... I said "no not really" but he showed me anyways, I'm not sure why he did that... this seems like a guy thing, I never bring up my ex's, that's the past and bringing it up will only make him feel uncomfortable... I don't know why guys do this... but part of me thinks it's innocent... maybe he misses her but doesn't necessary want to get back with her. I think its not very nice to bring it up with you though, maybe he is unaware that it bothers you? He is not considering your feelings.

[TessAshwin]

true!

[TessAshwin]

what does it mean, " misses her but doesn't want to get back. cause if you miss someone means you want them back right "

[courtney06]

I agree with what must people are saying on here. I learned my lesson to never ever EVER get with someone who is still contacting, talking about, or missing their ex. That's a lose situation because if someone still feels for their ex, there's really not much you can do about it. Feelings cannot be controlled, but we can control our actions and stay out of the situation as much as possible. Even if he doesn't miss her or secretly want her back, anyone in a healthy relationship knows that reminiscing on an ex and showing pictures of them is just not an appropriate thing to do.

[TessAshwin]

no no he isn't in contact with her at all , rather she calls him up on his birthday , he acts cold and disinterested. And right after their break up , she got married to some other guy.

[MusicJunkie89]

He hasn't gotten over her yet. He shouldn't bring her up often to praise her. He is comparing her to you and using that to try and get over her. I HATE to say this,

But I would ask him to take a break to really clear his head. Because when someone has feelings for someone else and is still in a relationship, there is a big possiblity that it could end badly.

I wish you all the best my dear!

[TessAshwin]

we aren't in a relationship. He doesn't want to date me due to certain circumstances.

[TessAshwin]

he praises her voice , says that she would maintain her body , would enjoy life to the fullest ... but yes one day he did tell me , " you could be one of the most beautiful girl in town if you reduce your weight "...

[MusicJunkie89]

I want you do to me a favor. Write I'm Beautiful on your mirror. And everyday look at it and believe it. And you are. Secondly. Forget this guy. You can do better. Any guy that tells you you would be the most beautiful girl if you would do this..________. Isn't worth your time. Your worth so much more dear.

[TessAshwin]

Maybe what your saying is true , As for me , I took it positively. Cause I do know if I cut down the fat in my body , I would look totally hot :)..

[MusicJunkie89]

Everyone would think that. I work out regularly, and eat a moderately clean vegetarian diet. I have about 15 pounds to go before I reach model weight. Some people call me fat, and others say I'm too skinny. If someone I was dating called me fat. I would leave them. To me, it's not worth my time for someone who wants to beat me down. I wish you all the best my dear. :3xoxo

[TessAshwin]

he just asked me to maintain my body , I think that's very healthy and motivating. Cause I did feel very motivated about it. :)

[HardAppleCider]

That's annoying.

There's a reason that talking about exes when in a relationship is taboo. It's not a smart thing to do.

[prophecy]

maybe he's still attached to her or he's just slow and doesn't understand that you never ever talk about exes.

[TessAshwin]

i never ever had exes...

[AskChloe]

You should ask him if he would like to get together with his ex girlfriend again.

[TessAshwin]

his ex girlfriend got married right after they broke up , that too with the guy whom their was a love triangle :) weird lol isn't it ?

[carinabina820]

You should ask him to please not mention her when you're around because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

[carinabina820]

I once dated a guy like that--he brought up his ex all the time & the look on his face when he talked about her was like he was still so in love with her, even though he said he loved me. He talked to her all the time & she was his "best friend." Ask him with caution though, because when I asked him not to bring her up in front of me, he flipped the f*** out and literally went psycho on me. Lesson learned: don't date guys that are too immature to get over their ex's before dating someone else.

[carinabina820]

PS this girl had dumped him literally four years before he met me...

[CatholicVirginia]

"really like each other a lot"

That's not love.

He still loves her. Him talking about her means he still has feelings for her.

[TessAshwin]

its been a year we are friends , and finally he did tell me he loves me . Just that one day he said , I did love my ex , I can't help it .So what I can really think is , he had given his body soul and mind completely to that girl , No wonder he can't forget those memories.

[CatholicVirginia]

Yes. He's not over her, which means he doesn't fully love you. I'm sorry. There is another woman deeply ingrained in his existence, and he can't let her go - or won't.

[TessAshwin]

Nah.. I seriously Doubt he still loves her , cause he is never going to take her back again. Its just that he has certain unresolved issues within him , cause they way they broke up. That Girl didn't know what's the meaning of compromising. As for him to love me , I do know he does, its just that it will take time to grow more stronger. And his ex got married last year.

[CatholicVirginia]

Alright, if you have this figured out already, why even bother asking? You may be right, but I may be right too. You're only going to hurt yourself if you blind yourself to reality. Be HONEST about this situation, if only to yourself.

[TessAshwin]

I know its alright , cause sometimes it better to think positive rather than always thinking negative and cursing guys for their behavior. I just asked the Question to know others opinion. I am not taxed here for asking questions, its for free. There is nothing for me to feel hurt cause as long as we are good close friends and enjoy each others' company , why bother ? And. yes there is no chance for us to marry. Its understandable for me and him.

[CatholicVirginia]

There's a difference between positive thinking and naivete. And what do you mean there's no chance for you to marry? You're not even in a relationship?

[TessAshwin]

For us Indian our culture is different. You won't understand. So its fine.

[TessAshwin]

When we can't marry , what's the point in being a relationship. You should have thought of that before asking me that Question.

[CatholicVirginia]

Why won't I understand? Because you assume I'm not Indian myself? Because I don't know any Indians and can't read?

You should have mentioned you can't marry before talking about a "relationship." You never bothered stating that in your question, so don't start assigning me the blame.

[TessAshwin]

what I want to state and what I don't , is none of your business. I don't get it . Your going on commenting commenting ... non stop , rather actually now I must say your too much bothered. Anybody else would have long back stopped it.

[CatholicVirginia]

So... you ask for help, but don't state the entire situation... so... yeah, that makes sense. Clearly, my fault. I apologize.

And I'm terribly sorry I show interest in your well being. Clearly you don't appreciate people who give a damn about you. Once again, I overstepped my bounds and I apologize.

[TessAshwin]

I don't appreciate people like YOU , giving me advice. Its good to be straight forward and being Blunt , but sometime do try to empathy the situation rather than just claiming what you say is right.

[CatholicVirginia]

And how am I supposed to have empathy for a situation where you withhold the most important details? Stop playing the victim. You're not the victim here.

[Kiraskrazy180]

Maybe you remind him of his ex.

[TessAshwin]

is it so ? and in which way ? he praises her voice , says that she would maintain her body , would enjoy life to the fullest ... but yes one day he did tell me , " you could be one of the most beautiful girl in town if you reduce your weight "...

[Kiraskrazy180]

Wow he said that? I think that's awful to say to a woman, especially one who you're dating. My advice is...don't change for a guy change for yourself, if you want to lose weight then encourage healthy eating habits in yourself and just cut out snacks and junk food. Have a talk with him, and let him know that when he brings up his ex it makes you feel bad. OR two could play that game, start praising your ex and see how he likes it. Tell him how all the celeb men have killer abs & he shld work out.

[Kiraskrazy180]

Give him a reality check, tell him that if he doesn't start bringing up his ex, you're out. A healthy relationship isn't bringing up and ex every 5 mins, its annoying and degrading. Tell him to move on or suck it out. If he wants to be YOUR boyfriend then act like it.

[TessAshwin]

we are NOT dating each other ...