I think I'm addicted to being "wanted." Is this a major issue?

[Anonymous]

I'm not a conceited guy on the surface. I'm very nice to people and treat everyone with respect. But inside, I think I'm pretty narcissistic. I love to look at myself and I love for people to look at me. Girls tend to like me, and I eat it up. Whether I want a girl or not, I want her to want me. My job sends me to different department stores and supermarkets, and at each place I find myself trying to see how many women flirt with me or get flustered talking to me. Like you know the stereotypical hot chick from the movies or TV with the army of drooling guys following her around doing whatever she asks? Sometimes I feel like I'm subconsciously aiming to be a male version of that. It feels stupid even saying that, but it's a natural inclination. I don't do it on purpose, or not consciously anyway. I guess my point is that there are no malicious or manipulative intentions, it's all just done for the greater glory of my own ego. Anyway, have at me psych majors. Tell me what the hell is wrong with me, lol.

[NoOneListens21]

You start off by saying that you're not conceited but you then go on to say that you yourself believe that you are narcissistic and then follow up with you love to look at yourself and have others look at you to give you that boost that you so desperately need. I do say you need it because it seems no matter what your intentions are with that girl you want her to want you. You go out of your way to seek that attention to assure yourself that you're still wanted by all.

"I don't do it on purpose, or not consciously anyway." Yet you again try to test or see how many women will respond or flock to you.

" I guess my point is that there are no malicious or manipulative intentions." I'm not sure of that. Are you sure? I mean if you really wanted it and were pushed to that point of one day no one seemed to notice you...Can you really say you wouldn't? You already seek it out from strangers by going out of your way it seems. Not just by merely observing.

"It's all just done for the greater glory of my own ego." Again, your ego.

This could be broken down into many things of why you want and need that but I'm unsure if you would accept or even acknowledge it if those reason be valid as to why you feel and do the things that you do.

I mean...Everyone needs to be loved, right?

[Asker]

yeah, I know a lot of stuff is contradictory. but I never said I wasn't conceited, I just don't let it show outwardly. these are just my thoughts in that deep, dark place you don't talk about at parties. I guess it's a semi-conscious thing. sometimes I do it knowingly, but if I don't, I find it happening anyway. I think it's my default setting, lol. and the thing about my intentions, I just mean I don't so it for favors or personal gain, it's just for validation, I guess.

[NoOneListens21]

Your validation is your personal gain. You seem to have a lot of trouble admitting that you are truly this way and try to reflect away from that. If you want to change it then you should. Partially admitting while at the same time taking it back doesn't really help you. You put up reasons as to why it happens. It may not be easy but you can prevent it if need be. You're only bring this up for only a few reason and if it's to change then just be honest with yourself and start reprogramming.

[Asker]

that's fair. there's personal gain, I guess my point was that there's no loss on the girls' ends. it's harmless as far as I'm concerned, I guess that's why I'm detailing the reasons behind it. to me, it seems pretty innocent and victimless. but I just feel like a shrink would have a field day with me, lol. I'm totally fine with being this way, I guess I'm just gauging what others think.

[NoOneListens21]

Harmless you say? Your girlfriend must be quite understanding. I would wonder what you want to prove to others that you are still desirable when her approval should be the one that is held the highest and that is all you should be concerned about. Flirting with other women can be harmless but isn't always. It can lead to other things even though your intentions may be innocent. You flirt with a motive behind it.

[NoOneListens21]

You feed off of it. And it makes mi wonder if you're not just asking this to get attention..because after all you don't want to change so why be concerned? If you think that is nothing wrong. Maybe out of curiosity...but still..you asked at the end..what the hell is wrong with you? Either way going further into detail doesn't seem that it would benefit you because you wouldn't change. So words would be wasted. Nice chatting with you.

[Asker]

fair enough. thanks for the input!

[NoOneListens21]

np

[Anonymous]

Odd Random question...when's your birthday?

I think you sound fine - just have an ego to fill. I'm the same exact way, it's almost scary reading your description!

I love the attention, adoration, and being in the spotlight as the " hot " one or whatever. I constantly look out to see who's checking me out, if there's a group of guys I'm going to pass, I'll put a little sway in my hips and listen for one of them to be like, " damn babe girl!"

xD

I love compliments and I have to humble myself to avoid it all going to my head. I love mirrors and any reflective surfaces, I constantly look at myself as I walk past glass windows too make sure I'm still looking good. It's bad, I even do this on days when I don't honestly feel like I'm that hot. But I've never declared myself to be ugly, that reality is impossible to me...

[Asker]

we sound like kindred spirits, lol. my birthday is February 27. pisces if you do the whole zodiac thing :)

[Opinion Owner]

ah it is said that Pisces are " glamorous " people :P - my best friend is one ( I'm a leo oddly, we arent' suppose to get along well,) and she likes attention just the same and always looks so put together and chic. I had you figured for a Leo maybe, because we are flashy egotistical types xD

[phonezoo]

I'm a Pisces too and I'm the same way as the Q.A. however I don't think astrology affects it. I know for me, it's because I'm an only child so I'm used to the attention

[Asker]

lol, that's me alright...all glam, all the time, lolol

[Asker]

phonezoo, I'm also an only child. I guess it's all working against us, lol.

[Opinion Owner]

LOL I love how that played out with the two only childs being pisces xD

Well, I'm not an only child but I love out shining other people in some way. Me and my best friend have issues with that sometimes, because I think we kind of fight for the glam light :P

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not 100% into astrology - as I know there's always room for personality differences - however, that zodiac stuff can be freakishly accurate!

[Asker]

lol...the way I see it, we're all gonna be old and disgusting looking one day. flaunt it while we've got it! XD

[Opinion Owner]

LOL hellz yea!

[Anonymous]

Ok I'm not a psych major but I am currently taking a college level psych class. If you have ever herd of the Humanistic approach of psych it basically says that we all strive to be the best person we can or that we seek to be our version of perfect. Everyone sees perfect in different ways. Maybe for you being wanted makes you feel closer to perfect. In addition its not abnormal to I guess you could say want to be wanted, everyone wants to be accepted, you just can't let it consume you. Once you find one girl that really makes genuinely happy you won't need all the other random girls attention, that's just my opinion.

[Asker]

well, I actually DO have an amazing girlfriend of 5 years, and I still want that validation. and I don't do it out of any disrespect for her, I have no intentions of cheating. I don't even flirt, I just try to look good and flash a smile. I do this to 20 year old girls and 65 year old women alike, it's not about picking people up.

[mashura]

your insecure and worried that no one is going to want you the way you want or feel you deserve

[Asker]

see my above answer ^