Why did my boyfriend treat his ex better than me?

[Chellebelle]

All I hear is stories, I wasn't there so I don't know the whole truth; but I do know this: he loved her and would stop at nothing to show her. Before him and I dated I would get on his Facebook and see pics and status about his ex, and the roses, necklace, dolls, anything and everything he bought her. We've been dating for 6 months, and I've gotten a shirt. He bought it the day of Valentine's day, I know because he called and asked what size I was. I'm grateful, but I'm confused. I've never been given anything by a guy, and find myself very jealous of how wonderful he treated her. Flowers don't cost a thing, you can go pick some at a park. Seriously, I don't know what to do or how to get over this. Help :(

[boomshakalaka]

Why would you focus on the past? Why would you compare yourself with her ex? Seriously though that is ridiculous, focus on the present, focus on your relationship, there's no need to bring up what happened in the past.

Wanna get over this? stop thinking about it and stop comparing yourself to his ex, because sh*t like that is absurdly annoying

[JossJ]

That is a pretty legitimate question from the OP. She simply looking to see where she stands in the relationship. The past is usually a pretty good predictor for future behavior. She's been slighted then that should tell you her how that guy feels about her

[Anonymous]

Probably why they broke up. Treat a girl too nice and pamper her too much, she'll think she's a prize and you're just lucky to have her--and then she'll find someone else who she thinks is the prize, haha.

[rakkeL]

This is the logic that can lead to emotionally abusive relationships and manipulation. It is NOT HEALTHY. This is toxic!

If someone used you in a previous relationship, to treat the next person as if they are going to do the same thing, sets them up for failure before they even have a chance. It may signal he is not over his ex.

That treatment brings out the worse in people. No one wants to be with someone who punishes them for how an ex hurt them and assumes they are a bad person out the gate. People want to feel respected and valued. Why are you with them anyways? That helps create security and a good foundation.

If you invest in someone, it shows you value them. I agree with the poster above about communicating what you like.

The OP seems to be more concerned about what demonstration of value communicates in a relationship, not running his pockets. She would be satisfied with effort (picking flowers vs buying them).

If the guy is unable to show value using financial means (say he had a job loss or made a recent large purchase) then he can still show effort to demonstrate value in other ways.

We all have needs. Expectations lead to disappointment as we cannot control what others do. Communication, understanding, effort, and willingness are big keys.

[phil2]

if you really think he loves her more and he's treating you 2nd best, then you should tell him how you want to be treated. tell him you like flowers, and that you like blah blah blah, if he still treats you like 2nd best and you feel you need to be treated with more respect than that then move on

[unighted]

the relationships are different you can't really tell if he does treat you different, you really don't know how their relationship was

[JossJ]

You can tell the difference. The other girls probably his first choice. Men go out of their way to do things for women they value. If he's going for a list for you it is because he has simply settled. It's a no-brainer

[Prettygurl12]

Probably because he realized that spending all that money on something that's going to blow up in your face is pointless.

Note: Material gifts =/= good treatment