My boyfriend treated his ex like a princess but not me, why?

Question

I found out that he just broke up 3 weeks ago when he first approached me. He was depressed when they broke up. I stalked his ex and I feel like shit because she is so hot and sexy. The worst part is I found that he used to bring her for a holiday, movie, fancy restaurants, bought her gifts but not me. He also travelled for 2 hours every weekend just to see her but like me I am the one who need to go to his place. He lives in an apartment and all he does is wait for me in front of the door.

i_research · Accepted Answer

That was probably when he was 18 or 17 or around that age.

A family member mine had a girlfriend, that he used to treat with extra love until she cheated on him, then he broke up with her. But later on he got another girlfriend, who he is married to now, but things are not the same.

He loves her of course. He hates his ex for cheating. He loves his wife, but he doesn't do the exact same thing he did before.

Here is why:

If he does the exact same thing, it feels like it's acting. not really from heart.

With each person, we get different connection, different feeling. With one friend I love talking on the phone, with the other I prefer to go for hiking.

Now as for dating and etc. he was very young, and at that age guys have more time, extra pocket money, and the first feeling is just a bit different. And people change over time. Maybe he is not the same romantic as he was when he was in his teen or early 20s.

Like me, I am not the same person as I was a few years ago.

Here is what you should know: He is not going to change. He won't ever suddenly be so romantic that he sweeps off your feet.
If you are not happy now, best to part ways; unless you be honest with yourself and him, that you know this who he is now, and you accept him this way and see yourself happy with him in the long run

someho · Accepted Answer

If he's done so many things for her it means she really was something special to him and he loved her.

If they just broke up there is no way for him to be ready to start a new relationship with you. You might be his distraction to get over her but nothing more that is also why he's not putting in much effort.

What you should do is step out and let him know it's for his own good. He needs to first finish what he's started and get over it. After that he might be emotionally available but for now you're just a backup plan. He might like you but his mind is still with her. He's never going to develop feeling for you that way so give him a time to recover then come back around and see how it goes.

If you stay in this trap, chances are she may come back around and he may leave you for her anytime because she's still his number one.

prettygirl8 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I used to feel the same way and it made me so insecure and jealous. But now I realise that, it takes time for guys to open up. Especially when the previous girl may have taken him for advantage or treated him badly, they switch off and pull away and stop doing those type of things because they feel like they are being treated for granted and when they feel right, you'll receive a similar type of treatment. But please think positive and do not let that come between you or your relationship because you will regret it. Be grateful that you have someone that loves you for who you are🙂 I wish you all the best!

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

... try to be more empathetic and understand that, while I'm sure his ex having been treated like that must have been nice at the time, there's no way such a dynamic can continue in the long-run while the relationship is still healthy and happy. Your boyfriend probably realized this after the fact and now understands that 'love' is an emotion you feel towards someone. Not something that can be bought via wooing your s/o with things like fancy restaurants or gifts on the regular.

You have a choice to either accept that and be treated like an equal, or get a sugar-daddy elsewhere.

guy532 · Accepted Answer

I've literally been the guy in that situation to an eerily similar degree (was thoughtful for my ex, traveled 2 hours to see her, and started dating another girl 2 weeks after the breakup). Truth is, you were just the first in line and he picked you because well you were available and interested in him. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's true. Guessing he was resistant on being in a relationship as well.

AlexBlack007 · Accepted Answer

Be positive. Don't expect all that from your boyfriend, who knows maybe his ex made all these demands and took him for granted and maybe that lead to their breakup. Maybe he loves you because he doesn't need to treat you that way. Be positive, don't think about it too much, you'll get depressed if you do.

singlebee · Answer

Looks like you are definitely a rebound that's why...  He was definitely into her a lot... And ofcourse he doesn't like you you or something... Why did they breakup by the way?

LittlePurpleDot · Answer

He probably really loved her. I'm not saying he doesn't love you, but he may still be a little upset about the breakup. How long have you guys been dating?

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

She probably burned him out like a roast chicken.

Now he feels exhausted and probably is scared to invest same the amount.

Maybe he is saving the money for something bigger like planning children with you or moving in with you or marrying you.

Maybe he is in debt after the money spending and when he comes out he'll spend more.

Do you like to travel on holidays and go out like crazy? I personally don't. My favourite is spending time with my partner in his arms.

She looks sexy to you. You are a woman not a man. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't feel like she is sexy, compared to you. I mean why does he choose to be with you, not her?

HitGirl_4680 · Answer

Run! If it's you always giving and getting nothing in return, it's not an even fair living relationship. It needs to be give n take on both sides. You both need to put yourself out for each other at times because you both care about each other. If it's one sided clearly he isn't really into you or the relationship.

You have to decide if your happy to be with someone who is like that, in a relationship like that.

ShortCircuit · Answer

You two haven't been together long enough to warrant him giving you that sort of treatment. Normally, if a guy showers a girl in gifts and shit like that after only 3 weeks, they get scared off. So I can't blame him for holding back.

Just be patient.

Blonde401 · Answer

He has a lot of issues from his previous relationship. Probably has trust isssues and isn't ready to date. It's best to tell him that you're feeling inadequate. Don't tell him it's because you stalked his ex though cause he won't take that the right way.

JaggerzBY · Answer

Be yourself, dont compare. If your boyfriend really thinks others is better than you, then you should leave. Such man will be a loser sooner or later, because no one is the best and if he keeps on grabbing the next, then he is just a fuckboy.

Anw, I do not know the exact situation, so haha jus an humble opinion. All the best!

sarath1997 · Answer

boring girl , I mean his ex he felt bored of treating her so they broke up , I hope you want him to stay with you , so he is currently not in a mood to love someone like he did with his ex , and afraid that if he treat you like her , you might also leave...😩 so wait patiently...

pooper89 · Answer

He's definitley not over his ex. You're a rebound to him. Run away

KDria · Answer

I agree with the comments saying to give it some time. I don't think he would be with you if he didn't love you so ignore those comments. He needs to get over that relationship most likely he will need to talk to her and realize why that relationship didn't work out so he can't move forward 100%

Morrioghan · Answer

Patience. I am sure he is disappointed how his previous relationship ended. Give him time to regain his dignity. And heaven-forbid, don't bring this up to him! Be kind to him, he needs your kindness.
If he won't change his ways later, you can quit it, but don't make such demands in such a short term relationship, if you don't want him to run away.
And don't stalk his ex. It will just make it more painful, even so if he finds out.

Sonjita · Answer

Because you settled for less. You show him you have low standards so why would he put in more effort when he knows he doesn't have to. It's hard to fix it now, but it's not impossible. You have to teat yourself as a princess first if you want others to treat you that way. Good luck! :)

Hidden_P · Answer

Woah.

So from what your saying, you've been together 3 weeks and you expect to be going/have gone on holidays, films and restaurants? No offence love but unless you have a date per day (even that) you are lucky to smash that.

Stop comparing yourself to his ex. I mean did they have sex after date 3? Did that date take 7 months? Yours took 3 days? WHY hasn't HE BANGED YOU same argument.

Chill the fuck out.

Anonymous · Answer

He has baggage. Generally after breaking up from a relationship your suppose to have settled whatever feelings or stuff with the ex. Because if you don't you ganna bring it in the next relationship and ruin it. It sounds like he got with while still emotionally attached to her. You need to talk to him.

dannymexico90 · Answer

Yea because she probably treated him like shit and left him. That's how it is. You kind of realize how much you invested in a women and than she acted like you weren't shit to her. So next time you save your money and make the next one work for you.

Dale1982 · Answer

Maybe she deserve to be treated like that and you don't in his eyes. You can't demand respect and to be treated special, you have to earn it. It amazes me the amount of people who think they just have to demand to be treated a certain. Thats not for you to decide that's for others.

Nice_Guy_Last · Answer

He probably feels burned by her. He might be different to you because he doesn't want to feel so invested in a relationship where he doesn't know whether there's a tomorrow for you two.

Give him time and make him feel like there is going to be a future between you two.

Loveherbut · Answer

So they just broke up three weeks ago which mean u just met him three weeks ago so what the hell are u expecting
Also if i were u i won't be involved with someone who just broke up because of the pressure of the society they are afraid to be alone so dont call him boyfriend yet

akadatank44 · Answer

Dudes got issues. You are definitely a rebound. He ain't over his ex.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like he rebounded from her to you. The problem is you're making yourself TOO available for him. Don't compare yourself to his ex, there's a reason WHY she's the ex. You shouldn't be the only one putting any effort into the relationship, and he shouldn't treat you anything less than a gentleman would treat a lady he has respect for. If the relationship is as new as you say, be patient and see what happens. But also be aware that it might have started a little too soon after his breakup with her and technically he might be emotionally unavailable.

eagle1951 · Answer

I'd say you the rebound lady. he doesn't really care for you. he just needed someone.

ImACowgirl · Answer

He broke up with her 3 weeks ago and is with you? That's not good. He's just using you. He's not over her and the reason why he's not treating you like he did her is because he's not serious about you. Why are you with him?

dylanthe13 · Answer

like he's using you to move on. but if you really like him, you can help him. but if he can't change his mind about hix ex even he's already with you over a long time. you might get hurt and he's not worth your time.

aicarg · Answer

It sounds that he's not completely over his ex. You moved into the relationship too quickly that he isn't able to treat you in a way where he shows his affection. My advice to you is to break things off and have him move on from his ex first.

Anonymous · Answer

Hun if it was 3 weeks ago
1. Your the rebound so he's not going to make all that effort as he's not over her
2. Your too available so he doesn't feel he needs to make that effort
3. Its only been 3 weeks. He barely knows you let alone holidays etc

Nyx_85 · Answer

Sorry to say this hun but it sounds like you are the rebound. 3 weeks is too soon to be ready to commit to a new relationship. Also stalking his ex is bad form.

zombiebabe · Answer

sorry to tell you think but its been only 3 week since he broke up with her... he might not got over her yet and you might just be a rebound to him.. just be careful you might get your feelings hurt

Cmasterson · Answer

You can't compare how he treated his past relationship with your relationship maybe the way he treated her had to do with why they broke up and he learned a lesson from that.

baali · Answer

Maybe you guys are more likely close buddies.. u both should have been friends before u become his girlfriend.. So no great feeling of exposed kind of love is shown for you.. Don't compromise for a time being attraction for his tension to relax.. find out who is really nice and good choice for you.. and have a great love life...

TheDerpyDeed · Answer

perhaps he's trying a different approach. ask HIM why, he'll probably have a better reason. "hey honey, I noticed you treated your ex like a princess but not me, I was wondering why this was?"

MaazSaleem · Answer

well i think you should beware , but also be patient. It might happen that he starts loving you , so give him all the love and care yiu have. meanwhile just be cautious, he might be using you.

slatyb · Answer

Don't worry about the past. But if he's making no effort for you, then dump him. He's telling you he doesn't really care. You can do better.

Crapulux · Answer

It could be that he learned the hard way that treating girls like princesses makes them think they are entitled to it...

melanieeeB · Answer

3 weeks are to soon for a new relationship, you're just his rebound, he can't be over her that fast

Drifter83UK · Answer

Have you addressed the situation with him? everyone loses a part of themselves from a break up here and there... how long have you been seeing him?

luvstoned4him · Answer

well how long have you two been together? because maybe it will take some time for him to warm up to you.

jackfoe_LX · Answer

u should know by now that there are different levels of attraction towards different people. maybe his chemistry with her was far greater than it is with you after all.

pinkmoscato · Answer

He might be afraid to give that much of himself to someone again. He needed more than 3 weeks to recover from that breakup.

98ma98 · Answer

I honestly don't mean to sound harsh but he was obviously more into her and may just see you as a distraction

Daylow · Answer

He's probably not as trusting from his last relationship, give him time.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

He doesn't treat you special because you are not special to him. Move on from him.

EvanSomer · Answer

He likes you more for you, he was trying to impress her

bino2017 · Answer

You are in trouble! You are too early to be in relation after breakup. Get out of it

PrincessPie · Answer

How long were they going out? you said that you have only been with him a month right?

Anonymous · Answer

Think of it this way. If he treats you just like he did his ex, you would soon become an ex too. Whatever they did didn't work out, so don't expect him to want to do the same thing again.

Dr_Latex_McPeggin · Answer

Unfortunately you could be the rebound girl and thus the lack of effort...

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

Probably the reason why he ended the relationship was because he was sick of treating his previous girlfriend like a princess.

Kurodo · Answer

Its tiring to do that forever. The guy obviously needs to pace himself.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

Did she take advantage of it? If so, there's your answer.

jameskanta · Answer

hahaha you are jealous. but try and bend him towards you. if you cannot do it by yourself donot blame him for the problem. if he do appreciate what you do for him. he will definitely not going to ignore you. he will fell in love with you.

apriilboyd · Answer

Sorry to say this but I think u might be his rebound :/

RationalMale · Answer

Maybe his experiences taught him treating a woman like that is not a great idea.

Anonymous · Answer

he's probably just bitter about having "wasted" all the effort, money, and emotional investment he put into the last relationship. Or alternatively, he did it because she demanded it and he never enjoyed doing it in the first place.

Iron_Man · Answer

The relationship ended and he's probably burned out so he's changed his tactics

Regular1 · Answer

He learned that treating a woman like a princess only turns out bad for him. Treat women like dirt and they will worship you.

Djan470 · Answer

i wonder how you learned that but u don't answer it, umm.. yeah its expected. relationships are full of traps like this.

scooogy · Answer

Maybe he "learned" that this might ruin his relationship

yoboyjosh · Answer

it sounds like he's maybe trying to use you as a comfort thing tell she takes him back

Rockel · Answer

1. He is not over her yet. Or  2. He is hurt over what happened and is unwilling to put himself out there right now

ASEXY · Answer

I think he's using you as a rebound.

My boyfriend treated his ex like a princess but not me, why?

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