Why do my boyfriends always tell me I'm ugly but everyone else says I'm gorgeous?

[Finessa]

People always tell me I'm beautiful but all the guys I get serious with always end up telling me I'm ugly. I mean people, men and women, are always randomly tell me everywhere I go how beautiful I am and I get hit on annoyingly all the time. Yet in all my relationships my boyfriend always ends up telling me I'm ugly and bad bodied when they are mad. It really hurts my feelings and I believe it. I'm confused as to why people tell me I'm gorgeous and why I like stop traffic if I'm so ugly? My self esteem is suffering because the men I have loved all do this to me. When they are not mad anymore or I'm trying to leave them they tell me they didn't mean it, that I'm not ugly, and they didn'tmsan it. They also abuse me in other ways. Like the last guy I was seeing. When I met him I wouldn't give him the time of day but he was persistent and wouldn't give up. He went out his way to get me. After a couple months I gave in. He was so nice at first and the way he treated me made me fall in love. Shortly after that he changed. He started accusing me of cheating on him and using him. He became really mean and angry all the time and didn't really want to be around me. Turns out he had another girlfriend the whole time and we found out about each other. When everything blew up he told me I was ugly and that he didn't even want me. I said, "if I'm so ugly why did you try so hard to get me like damn near stalked me?" He said, "I was bored it was something to do." So then I said, "so why do people always tell me how fine I am?" He said, "they just want some ass." I mean h told. me I'm bad body, ugly as he'll, wear too much make up and still ugly. I'm just confused. I have never really thought I was pretty when I look in the mirror but my whole life people have always went out their way to tell me I'm beautiful and I've had a lot of girls jealous of me but the men I love always crush my built up self-esteem by telling me this. I just would like to know if someone can explain to me what's really going on here because it's making me believe it and I'm depressed. I'm really starting to think that why every man I get serious with ends up abusing me and the numerous people who tell me I'm pretty have ulterior motives. Can someone please help me with this?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for the feedback. You all are so sweet and I'm really taking heed to the advice. I don't knowwby I even let these a**holes get to me like that. I guess it might be that I base my self worth on appearance because part of who I am is the girl that everyone said was so pretty and is jealous of so when I hear something different it's disturbing. But I feel better. Thanks guys

[MandaLuv]

You are obviously going out with the worst guys in the world! Just saying. Guys that call you ugly are not worth your time, let alone your beauty in their presence. Don't hang with guys like that. You'll find a guy that tells you how beautiful you are just like other people do. :) Don't date those other losers hah.

[Anonymous]

Your self esteem is too tightly tied to your appearance and it's putting you in a weak position. It's an obvious target to attack when someone is mad at you.

[shadowscapes]

its simple. he's a lowly scumbag and he's afraid you'll find a guy better than him and the only way to keep you in the relationship is to make you feel like you aren't good looking enough to get better options.

[lavarule]

It's a control thing. They want to control you so they make you feel bad about yourself and work for their approval. It makes them feel powerful.

Find someone that's a little less narcissistic to date.

[Mccilliamly]

It sounds to me like these guys just want to hit your weak spots. You're obviously very concerned about your appearance and I'm sure you're beautiful. They know this, so without any other good reason to get mad they decide to tell you something that hurts the most. Find better guys. End of story.

[kheserthorpe]

A) you choose abusive men

B) your self esteem is heavily tied to how people think you look

C) abusive men who recognize this insult your appearance when they want to hurt you.

[johnmichael62ga]

Just dating the wrong type of man DM have a private conversation? thanks

[jmurk]

I don't know . You should stop dating them. Was my answer offensive to you in any way?

[Anonymous]

Because your dating deuschbags

[Tslav_]

Cause everyone is sparing your feelings