My boyfriend said I was narrow-minded and that is a turn off...and that he doesn't want his girlfriend to be?

[Ildskf]

We were talking shortly after midnight on New Years eve...I can't even remember what it was...he harshly said that I was narrow-minded and that is a turn off...and that he doesn't want his girlfriend to be narrow minded. I personally consider myself to be open-minded and he misunderstood what I said and wasn't really listening to me...just jumped to a conclusion. I was very hurt and saddened by this...didn't think it was a good way to start 2014...I told him I thought he was being judgmental and I didn't like it.

He apologized...but I was still really hurt and still am...I had to leave shortly after to pick up my sister so we didn't get to talk about it. The past two days he texted me...I texted him back but wasn't as enthusiastic as usual...

I guess he picked up on this...and he wrote "well good by Hope you have a great one! Good Bye"

I wrote "Thx, hope you have a great day 2"

He wrote "Take care of yourself and be good"

He never writes "good bye" and never says it either...it seemed so final...I asked him what he meant by it and he wrote

"Behave yourself and treat yourself well and be healthy and happy! And love yourself as much as I love you! Which is more than everything...even though you are upset with me Because of what happened two nights ago"

I'm going to see him tomorrow...I'm trying not to be sad and feel guilty for being mopey but I'm really hurt...I brush off a lot of things, but this one stings...am I over reacting?

Updates

+1 y

And I forgot to mention...shortly after he told me I was narrow-minded, etc...I got quiet...then shortly after he asked if I wanted to break up...I said no...I asked if he wanted to and he said no...but that it doesn't seem like to want to be with him...

Updates

+1 y

Thanks everyone for your help...I really appreciate it...I just saw him a couple hours ago...He apologized again for saying I was narrow minded...and that he was a jerk for saying it...and that of course he doesn't want to break up with me...he only said that because I seemed upset and he thought I wanted to break up with him...regarding the text messages...he said that he didn't mean anything by it...and it was a misunderstanding...he listened to what I said and reinforced that he loves me..

[SchemeBoul]

You are not overreacting and it is completely understandable for you to feel like this. He should have controlled his emotions better, I am under 18 and would have NEVER outbursted at a girl unless she absolutely deserved it... he overreacted. Maybe he was frustrated about something else. If he brings up that he wants to break up... this is not a good sign. Why put this thought into your girlfriend's head? He either secretly wants to break up, or is insecure. I hope this helps, you are fine no worries :)

And thank you for answering my question earlier about teachers !

[Ildskf]

You are welcome! Thanks for answering mine! It really bothered me that he brought up breaking up, especially because he's done it before and I let him know it really bothered me

[Reynier]

You two need to have a good talk. You both feel guilty over things that have happened, which is good. It means you care deeply about each other and what you have, and that you're prepared to take responsibility for your actions.

I'm confident that if you talk things through, you'll both be able to forgive each other. :)

[kangaru]

No you aren't over reacting. Tbh I wouldn't feel good if my boyfriend said the same to me. Goodbye gives me the impression that is final. I guess he is thinking you are still upset w him and may conclude you want to end things. I don't like it when people do this to me.

When you see him tmr , have a heart to heart talk with him. Be calm . He need to be transparent and open in his communication..and direct

[Ildskf]

Thanks for your help...that's exactly what I thought when he said goodbye...no one has every written this to me in a text message...I thought he was breaking up with me...then he said it was nothing...I feel like my mind is being played with

[kangaru]

I don't like such attitude or behaviour from bf

I prefer to talk things out

And not hide

[kangaru]

keep us updated

[kangaru]

@update good to know that :)

[Ildskf]

Thanks so much!

[kangaru]

Welcome

[handwind]

why did he say to behave yourself, he makes you sound kind of out of control. If he really respects you he would explain himself better, what made him upset and give you both time to fix whatever it was, but if he continues to tell you stuff like behave yourself, then ldk, give yoursleves some time off, I guess

[Ildskf]

Thanks for your help...I have absolutely no idea why he said "behave yourself"...that was very random and something he's never said...I found it odd because I am like the poster child for a well behaved person

[handwind]

im sorry but you know what, I feel like he’s covering up some issues that does not want to discuss or think about and so he diverts it b bringing up other issues which doesn’t make sense, but only leads to distract you from a bigger real issue. Don't let him continue telling you these unreasonable things, otherwise, it seems suspicious. sorry for my bad English but I hope you get what I mean. its like when other people try to make up random exuses in order to avoid actual issue.

[overcomer1010]

i think when you see him you should have a nice talk about things happened and if he really meant the things he said. maybe he said it because you disliked something he enjoyed or liked? talk it out and find the solution that leaves you both happy...

[Ildskf]

Thanks for your help...appreciate it!

[overcomer1010]

no problem

[Anonymous]

okay I am answering yours hey you know women talk without thinking man act without thinking anyway something you sould know as far as relationship I am horrible at it I kinda slept with family members and I havnt kissed a girl ever since because I feel guilty.

[Opinion Owner]

what?

[martyfellow]

it sounds to me like he did this to provoke you into breaking up. He wants it to seem like YOUR idea.

This is very.. manipulative of him. VERY manipulative.

It sounds like you have drifted apart, to be honest.

[martyfellow]

UPDATE: So far, so good, but I still think he's trying to maneuver you into being the one to break up

[eltxamo]

By narrow minded, he most likely means that he needs you be more understanding of his opinions even when is something that you don't like ,

i don't know if you were talking politics, sex or what lol, but...

[BondJamesBond]

I don't think you have anything to worry about, just try to make up with him next time you meet.

[handwind]

good to know youve resloved it.

[Ildskf]

Thanks!

[dwiller943]

It seems as if he's the narrow-minded one.