Questions: Relationships

I think one of the gifts of relationships is they challenge you to work on yourself, with your partner and grow as a person. We all have "ourselves". Two people coming intimately together will have to work to keep create and build a healthy relationship.

One thing I had to learn at the ripe age of 50+ was how to listen without reacting to my partner. She would be communicating in a genuine and clear way and I'd react and go defense... my conditioned response to verbal threat. The conversation spun down out of control from there as I'd resist and fight and she'd work harder to get a message across... ending up tired and frustrated.

The root of this was with me, my ability to listen to what she was saying. Here's an
example.
She said: I'm not feeling well, tired... and I said "I'm sorry to hear...".
She responded..."don't say you are sorry".
My internal reaction can be defensive... why is shy affronting what I just said?

This leave me baffled as to what to say next. I said I'd call back in a few, I thought about it while shopping and come back a few minutes later as I realized what I communicated dropped the energy of the conversation down... and it made her feel worse. My statment was negative when she needed positive emotional support! By changing my response to a positive response "Im here for you and can help you feel better", ... made her feel better and all was well.

->I had to learn to listen and not react, understand what she was saying. Not everyone is the same, your partner may be different.

Is their anyone on the planet you would cheat with?

(for example, some people might cheat with a celebrity if given the chance and knowing they wouldn’t get caught. (Unrealistic I know) but I’m pretty sure at least half of people would cheat with least one other person on the planet if given the chance. (Even if they might regret it later)

I am.
I am crazy!
Madness. insanity. Wickedness. Twisted psyche.
Grrr!
Somewhat angry at the opposite sex.
But still very much loving these creatures.
That is because I am not getting their love but always yearn for it.
They are not magical, I know. They are like us for the most parts.
But nevertheless I don't have what I want.
Those strange girls but not that hard to understand either.
Someone call a doctor!
I am crazy!

As cheating/divorcing is so common and widespread good proportion of people have been on receiving end of it and know how it feels and affects them and their kids etc. I don't understand why people still do it? What is going trough your head while doing it? Are you living in hope you won't get caught, don't care.. please details, I'm really trying to understand.

I am child of divorced parents, my father cheated (is still living with other women and has a kid), and I know how much it scared me and my sister, and how much it affected my mother. As a result I know I will never let myself do such things to people I care about (especially if I have kids at some point). Did you have same experience but decided if my dad/mom could do it, I can too or what?

And what would YOU consider as good justification for doing it?