Questions: Relationships

I know most people have a past but I'm an inexperienced guy. I've never sexted, had sex, or had a girlfriend before her. She's had one boyfriend before me and they sexted during their short relationship. She told me they never went to the point where they had sex and that she's still a virgin. I don't know why but it bothers me at the thought of her ex still having her nudes and shit like that and the fact she did something like that with him..
She told me she cut of all communication with him the moment we started talking. Am I overreacting and being dumb? Should I just let this go?

I am a 32 year old NON-RELIGIOUS black man man who is single, and who has been ignored like I don't even exist for most of my life. As a child, I was badly abused by my mother and her boyfriends (Physical, mental, and emotional), and bullied by my peers (then go home to the same thing, just 300x worse) and as a result, my self esteem is shot, never to be repaired.

Recently, not even a day ago, I came to the conclusion that my older brother has been making disparaging remarks about me, and as a result, his kids are calling me "homeless", "Stupid", and just outright disrespecting me. My co-workers recently found out I've never had a sexual relationship, by accident, and now all they do is laugh, point, and back away as if i'm some kind of leper. Or call me a loser.

I feel as if my entire family is just tolerating me until i go away, and they can get back to their lives. This is really painful, and hard to talk about.

I have desperately tried dating, but it is of no use, as I've been told that I look "pedophile creepy", or accused of stalking. The crushes i have had were always one sided, and i know of no one who felt the same about me. I have no experience with relationships or women, and at this point, I've become a hermit and have stopped trying at all.

All i do is go to work, and come home to loneliness. Waking up reminds me of the fact that everyone I know has a family or a significant other, and that i'm like a third wheel, stuck on the outside looking in.

For the past two weeks, I have been ruminating whether to commit suicide, as I constantly feel that i am not wanted here, that I have no purpose in this world. (I don't, I was just an accident). I am undergoing therapy, but i feel this isn't solving anything. It changes nothing. So In closing, I will say that I have never experienced love. My hopes and dreams are shattered, I feel out of place, and the only way is to end this suffering. All I understand, is that i'm not wanted in this world.

Im just wondering if I should wish her a happy birthday. We were great for about a year but the relationship wasn't really going anywhere and we both didn't see it going anywhere seriously in the future. However we do both still have feelings for eachother, I know this because I have received a few texts from her telling me that she misses me (which I've ignored). Although she was the one that ended it about a month ago should I break no contact just to wish her a happy birthday? We were both really close and such great friends and I know that if it were the other way round I'd be so annoyed if she didn't wish me a happy birthday. We both know that we will see each other as we go to the same college. Should I keep no contact or be the guy to text her I know it'll happen sooner or later either on her side or mine.
sorry for this long winded question would just like to know everyones thoughts :D thanks