What is YOUR definition of cheating?

[JimRSmith]

I recently answered a question on here, on the third attempt.

It concerned cheating. I found it difficult to answer it because I'm not really sure how I define cheating. For context, I've never cheated, and as far as I'm aware, never been cheated upon, and I'm aware that would no doubt colour my opinion, had I experience of either.

But, what does 'cheating' actually mean?

[sangess]

Most people would define "cheating" as when one person has a signification other and they have an intimate series of moments or actions with someone other than their partner.

To me, cheating is doing anything with another man/woman that you wouldn't want your significant other to see. Whether it's flirting or simply meeting in person and getting coffee for non work-related or non-necessary reasons in counts as cheating. So does holding hands or kissing or even having sex. Even the tiniest of actions count as cheating because any of these mean that they're being unfaithful to their partner.

Cheating also doesn't mean that the significant other being cheated on doesn't know about these actions. Most people with even a lick of intelligence can usually sense when they're not this person's first priority anymore. Whether it's through texting, talking on the phone, or meeting in person they'll know they're being cheated on.

Lets not forget that this counts too. When the cheating partner will lie or play off the fact when s/he is asked where they were or what they were doing, that counts. Obviously the cheating partner wouldn't want their partner to know which means they think that their relationship is less of a priority of this new person they are seeing.

[kaylaS91]

I get what you mean about how it's quite tough to pin down in terms of what 'cheating' actually is, with so many variables at play (like who they cheat with, if it involves anything physical or not, if either party has been cheated on in the past, etc..)

Having been through my own little fiasco of my boyfriend being KINDA unfaithful.. I think I've come to accept that there's no universal definition. Cheating is more like an umbrella term with a definition that will vary with each couple. To me, if he hides it from me, it's cheating. (even if nothing physical took place between him and another girl. But still- the fact that he lied about who/what he was hanging out with is more than enough to break my trust in him.)

[Wonderer89]

Anything they wouldn't be comfortable doing if I was right there next to them

[aicarg]

BAM! Simple and straight answer that defines it! 👍 Gosh you have that skill in answering simply!

[Wonderer89]

@aicarg because I have a simple brain 😂

I think clarification on this is important in a relationship, so we know where each other's boundaries are and don't unintentionally cross them... this always felt like the easiest rule to follow.
If I wouldn't do it in front of him; I shouldn't be doing it at all

[aicarg]

@Wonderer89 A simple but smart brain 🙂 Simple is best in explaining things as it allows the asker in reflecting upon themselves.

Daww, you didn't have to explain yourself haha But your example and explanation was well put! Communication and knowing your partner's boundaries and values he places on what "cheating" is defined as, is how you go abouts setting your boundaries in respecting your loved one!

[Wonderer89]

Thanks for MHO matey 😊

[Dolynne]

That's the most clever reply I've ever seen

[YingKim]

Wow, it good you won MHO. Good answer :)

[EpicDweeb]

It's a lack of faithfulness. If it's something you would normally only do in a relationship, or if you didn't have a relationship it's cheating. Flirting can be cheating but there's a fine line between flirting and complimenting/witty banter. I tend to compliment people a lot. I try to be encouraging and I try to help people see themselves in a better light... as a result I'm often seen as flirtatious though I have no intention of being considered as such. Basically, you're cheating if you're not being faithful to your current partner. That would include anything of a romantic or sexual nature that ought only to be done with one's spouse or significant other. At least that's the best way I can think to put it :/ And perhaps I'm mistaken but there's my two cents on the issue.

[ThisDudeHere]

Either or both emotional and physical intimacy with another person is cheating for me. That and unless you're planning a surprise, there is not a single reason for you to hide anything from your partner. If you do hide things, then that is the primary disenfranchisement with cheating - lack of respect and trust.

[Unit1]

Does the same count for Email addresses and Steam account?

[ThisDudeHere]

@Unit1 "hiding" passwords is maintaining personal privacy. Hiding your activities is being secretive and distrustful. As I said, unles you're planning a birthday surprise or if you work for some secret government agency, there is no need to hide from your SO the fact that you spend time with certain people.

[Unit1]

That clears up some things since you mentioned exactly "there is not a single reason for you to hide anything from your partner.".

Because I would always break up when I get to decide between giving my password to a (controlling) girl or to be single again... because my own security (in any regard) is my great responsibility.

[btbc92]

Having extramarital sex with somebody your not married to.
Having sexual intercourse with somebody your saying your dating or commited to.
Sexting somebody or texting somebody with the intent to have an affair.
Being intimate and sharing intimate gestures with the intent of making it sexual.
Behaving in a manner with a person that your partner doesn't want you doing. <-- if that boundary is placed at the expense of the relationship/marriage that will lead to divorce/breakup.

But the actual definition is infidelity and adultery.

[-desc-]

(Partly) Spending too much time with another woman/more time with another woman than your girlfriend. Pretty much things related to romance that you would do with your girlfriend, like going on what you would call as a date, holding hands, kissing, sex, etc. Unless things like that are decided in your relationship with your girlfriend and it's okay to do that with another, just avoid doing anything 'romantic' with anyone else.

Don't know what kind of person your mate is, but it's best to be cautious.

[aicarg]

Any actions that leads your emotions astray and gives you similar feelings to when you're with your S. O., anything that makes you question yourself in if it's okay to do or not, anything that you wouldn't what your S. O. knowing about and having the same actions/behaviours done towards you.

[michael2124]

Cheating to me is when you have feelings for someone else so then its cheating sleeping around to me isn't cheating however, though i strongly believe that but if sleeping around will hurt your wife or husband than you shouldn't do it. so to me cheating is. emotion but anything else is if your partners agrees to it.

[Psychlopic]

The action, with intent, to get into some sort of romantic/sexual relationship with another person, without the partners consent.
I include intent, because for example if you're dating an actor, then kissing a fellow actor for a production wouldn't be cheating.

[Mojos]

It means doing something romantic or sexual with another person THAT would hurt your partner. Then, it depends on what kind of a relationship you have. There's no unambiguous definition that would fit every relationship.

[AthleticMom]

If you're having sex with me, esp. if living together, then cheating can range from sex with others to always having another on your mind constantly in a caring way

[TMB11]

Cheating is a bit of a complex one, isn't it?

I guess the simplest way I would define it is: If you feel the need to hide it from you significant other, it's cheating.

[anewgirl]

Cheating doesn't have to be physical. If it's something you wouldn't tell your SO, it's probably cheating.

[bloodmountain1990]

Any time you plan on getting emotionally or physically involved with someone else when you're in a committed relationship with someone.

In other words, if you can't be faithful or there are issues, talk it out or end things. Don't cheat.

[Dolynne]

I think cheating could be anything you're doing something with someone else you know it's wrong, but do it anyway. Everyone have different opinions on what's wrong or not, but you truly know it if you feel it yourself.

[soul1112]

In a perfect world, cheating is when you go out of your way to even think and look at other women.
In the real world, everything is "fine" as long as you don't actually fuck another woman.

[kelseywilliams]

or kiss or flirt with another woman

[kelseywilliams]

thats a no no

[soul1112]

@kelseywilliams I wanted to mention kissing, but I thought people would find that "strict", for some reason.

[kelseywilliams]

not strict at all kissing means passion for another person and yea we girls dont like seeing our men kissing another girl thats like asking to b dumped

[kelseywilliams]

but we can't really consider thinking or looking at other girls cheating even tho we want to as long as guys stay loyal and honest thats all that matters cheating is too much work anyway so why do it

[Alan180188]

the intention it self !
flirting for instance, you might flirt with a hot guy but not have sex with him cause you have a boyfriend, but that's a cheating too !
intentions define actions !

[keenmind2007]

Infidelity or cheating is a violation of a couple's assumed trust or stated contract regarding emotion and or sexual exclusivity.

[false]

thanks wikipedia 🙂

[normalice]

any attempt to get off and/or get someone else off through direct or indirect physical contact, without the permission of your s/o.

[somewheresomeway]

funny I saw an interesting article a while ago about what upset women more about infidelity. They actually get more hurt if the man they are dating/married to has an emotional connection to another woman than outright having sex with someone else.

[johanmdsn]

simple. it means being unfaithful to the person you swore to be faithful with

[stuntmanmike]

To me its being intimate with someone else, that being kissing, fucking etc...

I've been cheated on more than once and it really bruised my trust in people when it comes to relationships

[JDavid25]

Anything that would involve romantic intimacy with somebody you ain't committed to..

[Samantha2448]

flirting with someone that isn't your partner, physical touch that is more than a friendly hug

[FemWorship]

Cheating only happens when married or living together w/sex
Dating around is not

[Ryansh]

Cheating : quite complex to understand but in simple words... Something you feel your partner is insecure of... Hurt his/her sentiments knowingly

[TriTree]

should be honest and open with your S/O so if its hidden then you as a person should know it is cheating

[MrBooker]

lying.. about your needs getting your needs elsewhere.. ... if she gives to me it should be me only however to solve this issue I go for mff that way I know.. er. hope to be satisfied

[TacosRAwesome]

Doing something that should be done with a partner with someone who is not your partner.

[cupidkisses]

anything sexual or emotional that your partner doesn't want you to do

[BradA]

Simple. If you have to think about if it's cheating or not, then it's cheating.

[grahamcracka]

pretty much doing anything with someone else your SO would slap you and leave if you told them

[steelpigeons]

When you are in a relationship with someone and you have intimacy with someone else in a way that your partner did not consent to.

[DairyCow]

If you have to hide it, it's cheating.

[Marshmello_22]

Best answer

[emist]

best reply to the best answer. although the explanation after the question lost me like legal fineprint looking for a loophole.

[Wolframium]

OK, but what if I'm working on 10 Mt nuclear bomb, to send in North Korea? I need to hide it, since radiation poisoning is a thing, and I would hide it especially from my girlfriend, because I don’t want her to die horrible death or just being captured and interrogated by…well…anyone.

[Unicorn_Blood]

If the person sleeps or is in love with someone else while dating you.

[PeachyAF]

Crossing boundaries of any kind

[Ajay20]

Broken trust & loyalty definitely you hurt some budy.

[cutemz]

Hiding text messages
Kissing flirting with others

[BradA]

Kissing if way too far into cheating.

[lMike]

lookin at the other players cards

[HesaidShesaidNO]

you will just know it in your gut.

[HesaidShesaidNO]

I know I am strange, I've been cheated on, I got to the point where I am too sensitive that I will just know when my SO is doing something behind my back.
P. s. For those Guys who want to cheat/hide their truth. SHE WILL FIND OUT, please wise up be nice and respect the woman, tell her the truth and cherish her love for you.

[MrMilti]

Saying one thing and doing another