Most women aren't really physically attracted to their boyfriends?

[bekkesmash]

You often hear women say they weren't really attracted to their boyfriend before they got to know him. So it's emotional attraction that causes the eventual sexual attraction, not the physical, so you aren't attracted to how he looks, not to his body.

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Which is sad for the boyfriend

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[nevermoregirl7]

I think you kind of have to have physical attraction, because otherwise, what really builds sexual interest. Physical attraction doesn't mean something main stream like a big dick or abs. Can mean something really random like arms or belly.

And I say this because I have always had sex with men I was physically attracted to. I never looked at a guy I thought was unattractive, had a decent conversation with and thought, "Yeah, I would bang him."
Though, we all know some women who can look past that. Just not all women.

[iminhell]

I thought my boyfriend was super hot. I'm shy so when we met I didn't talk to him at all I just thought he was hot. If his personality sucked then I wouldn't have dated him though. Plus everyone who acts like it's shallow to notice someone's looks first is SO full of shit. No matter what you notice looks first. You see someone before you ever talk to them, so it's not your fault if you see someone and realize they are physically attractive. It's only shallow if all you care about is looks.

[Anonymous]

I'd say some, more than most. Most of women's feelings start with physical attraction to gain interest and grow from there if there's compatibility.

Some people are unusual and some aren't very physically attractive themselves and compromise. Others are jaded and use romance as a transactional thing. But the majority are interested due to primal attraction to start.

[kaylaS91]

Really?
I've never heard a single woman say they're not physically attracted to their boyfriend. I'm definitely attracted to my boyfriend's physical appearance so.. I'm not sure where you pulled those 'stats' out of.

[bekkesmash]

Before you even spoke to him?

[kaylaS91]

correct.

[genericname85]

it´d say this is false. "some" women don´t really need physical attraction at all, which is a tiny minority. some women make the mistake of thinking that it´s not important but they will realize it won´t work later on. overall, women do find thir partner attractive. or else they wouldn´t be with them.

[Anonymous]

Humour and skills make man attractive. There are ugly guys with most beautiful girls. Why? Because they know how to give satisfaction to girls and make their lives better.

[bekkesmash]

That's why women can't be considered heterosexual, as they aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly

[bekkesmash]

Yup, anthropologists say women don't actually have a sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based on narcissistic sexual self affirmation.

[Margillard]

This is true, women choose the beta males for financial support and security when settling down, sadly the memories of BBC linger on.
A flight to the Caribbean or East Africa eases the hunger fortunately.

[Margillard]

A study from Rutgers University in New Rochelle, NJ, has concluded that approximately 87 percent of American White women have had or fantasize about having sexual relations with African American males. The study was conducted by the Sexual Sociological Endowment in the Cultural Histology department, at Rutgers University.
The study reveals that a whopping 87% of white women dream of having sex with a Black man and in some cases many already have. Interestingly enough, the same study says only 13% of white women said they would would marry and raise a family with a Black man. Of the 800 involved in the study, 8 percent said they have actually dreamed of having a threesome with Black men.
The fact that there is such a huge disparity between the number of white women who want to have sex with Black men versus those who would marry Black men, shows that many still have stereotypical view of Black men.

[Margillard]

Black men are seen as sexual masters in the bedroom but almost complete absent from the corporate boardroom.
So when it comes to sex, most white women would prefer a Black man but they look toward their own white men when they are looking for a provider.

[Anonymous]

Non shallow girls won't notice a guy's body first. they'll be attracted to their personality before anything else and they'll love the guy with all his perfections and flaws no matter how he looks like.. this doesn't mean that a girl will be attracted to a man who doesn't take care of his looks, cuz that's a part of one's personality as well.

[bekkesmash]

It's not shallow to be attracted to looks first, it's called being heterosexual, if you need personality before you are attracted to his looks you aren't heterosexual as you aren't physically and sexually attracted to gender specific traits.

[samhradh_leannan]

You can definitely be attracted to gender specific traits even if you go for personality first. Being sexually or romantically attracted to someone's personality can still only apply to a particular gender.

[bekkesmash]

Personality is in no way gender specific

[samhradh_leannan]

But even if you get attracted to people based largely on their personality, you can still only experience that with a specific gender.

[bekkesmash]

It opens up the possibility of being attracted to both genders. Either way that is demisexuality which is different to being straight as you aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits.

[samhradh_leannan]

It doesn't necessarily open up the possibility of being attracted to other genders, any more than being attracted purely to physical traits does.

[bekkesmash]

Physical traits are gender specific, personality is not? Get it?

[bekkesmash]

Attraction to Physical traits doesn't open up the possibility because it gender specific.

[anewgirl]

That's often accurate I would say. That's not to say that I never see a guy and immediately think he's physically attractive. But right now I have an enormous crush on a guy who I didn't find physically attractive at first. Now I think he's adorable.

[bekkesmash]

That's sad, you aren't physically attracted to him, don't tell him

[anewgirl]

Well I AM physically attracted to him now. To the exclusion of other guys in fact.

[bekkesmash]

You aren't physically attracted to him, as physical attraction has to be based of something physical, your attraction in based of the emotional and romantic which aren't even gender specific. This shows women can't be considered heterosexual, you aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits and your emotional attraction has made you attracted to a man not to men ( "to the exclusion of other guys") sad don't tell him.

[anewgirl]

That's definitely not true, although I can almost see what you're saying there. But now that I've gotten to love his personality, I've noticed lots of physical traits that make him attractive to me. There are plenty of "man-specific" things about him that I like. First one to come to mind is facial hair. 😂

[bekkesmash]

You would have loved the facial hair to begin with if it was actually physical attraction, you seemingly are demisexual, which is different to being straight.

[anewgirl]

Alright, whatever. 😂😂

[bekkesmash]

I'm serious, you certainly aren't physically attracted to your boyfriend, can't you see that?

[anewgirl]

Well first off, he's not my boyfriend--just a crush-- so this is somewhat irrelevant. And second, the brain is an amazing thing. It can change your opinion on things like you wouldn't believe. Haven't you heard of things "growing on you"?

[bekkesmash]

I understand what you are saying, but I understand that what you have said means you aren't physically attracted to your crush.

[anewgirl]

You're right. I wasn't at first. But now I am. Sorry but that's as good as you're going to get.

[bekkesmash]

From your explanation? Or from relationships in general.

[anewgirl]

I'm not sure what the question is.

[anewgirl]

Oh I see now. Yeah that's all I got for this discussion. 😂

[KaseyRouqe]

I've been physically attracted to every man I've dated. Even though physical attraction isn't everything, it's still pretty important in a relationship.

[bekkesmash]

Before you got to know them though?

[KaseyRouqe]

Yes.

[miss_pm]

Speaking solely for myself, I don't see me being intimate in with someone I'm not physically attracted to and I've never fallen for anyone for their personality. Looks attract me to a person, personality keeps me interested. Looks are a prerequisite.

[Cmasterson]

I don't know, I do feel like when I met my boyfriend I thought he was great looking and yes I would say he got even more attractive after I got to know him too. So i guess a win win.

[Cmasterson]

And he does have a great body, I just think it depends, his body has changed but for the better too!

[bekkesmash]

Like he got leaner, more muscular?

[Cmasterson]

we've been really consistent with the gym this year, so he's gotten more muscular.

[bekkesmash]

Has him doing so made him more attractive to you?

[Cmasterson]

Well its the fact that he likes to live a healthy life style is what is attractive, he doesn't just sit on the couch everyday and each junk, he wants to work out, working out makes us feel good and hence yes makes us look good as well.

[bekkesmash]

That's not physical attraction if the attraction is based of living a healthly lifestyle rather than what his body looks like and that is what my initial question was getting at.

[Cmasterson]

it is PHYSICAL too because he LOOKS great.

[bekkesmash]

Does he look great to you because you have emotional attraction to him or simply by how he looks, like if he gained weight would he be less attractive to you?

[Cmasterson]

Both. I wouldn't want him gaining weight

[fauchelevent]

Hmm, I think that some feel that way but I think that most women are physically attracted to their partner. I know I am at least.

[bekkesmash]

Before you got to know him?

[fauchelevent]

I remember thinking he was cute, sure, but we were 11 back then so it wasn't like 'I wanna fuck him', more like 'oh, he's pretty' :P

[fauchelevent]

But to answer the question shortly, yes, I did think he was attractive before we became friends.

[Anonymous]

thats a bunch of bs. like teen boys drool over cleavages, many girls drool over sixpacks, beards, manly arms/hands and penises.

[JohnDoe3000]

Most of the time these boyfriends definitely did pass some subconscious attractiveness bar. If a girl thinks you're hideous you're out 99% of the time, no matter how well she gets to know you.

[Unit1]

Sad but true :/
Women have the beauty
We have the... hmmm... i don't know. The logical way of thinking and the strength.
I mean is this trade-off worth it?

[bekkesmash]

Form of prostitution

[eleanor95]

i dont often hear this tbh. only had one boyfriend in my life and it was physical attraction at first, then emotional attraction after

[Levin]

Women just can't be pleased, impressed, nor sated, from the sounds of these Gag questions. Nothing makes 'em happy. Nothing.

[samhradh_leannan]

I'm definitely physically attracted to my boyfriend.

[bekkesmash]

Before you ever talked to him?

[samhradh_leannan]

I thought he was nice looking. But we were both dating other people at the time when we met, and I'm more personality oriented anyway.

[bekkesmash]

Physical attraction has to derive from the physical if you need personality to be attracted to his body, then you aren't actually physically attracted to him.

[samhradh_leannan]

I just don't agree with that.

[bekkesmash]

It's like basic semantics though

[samhradh_leannan]

Not really, because the physical attraction still exists. It doesn't not exist just because it took time to develop fully.

[samhradh_leannan]

My boyfriend didn't instantly have the hots for me either. Does that mean the attraction he has to me now isn't real?

[bekkesmash]

His attraction to you wasn't from the emotional. How can it take time? Like you just discovered he looks good, that makes no sense.

[samhradh_leannan]

To you, it doesn't make sense. You've made that pretty clear lol.

[bekkesmash]

But it's like the looks don't factor in, you would be just as attracted to another guy you go out with who looked worse somehow, that's why it's not physical attraction.

[samhradh_leannan]

Is a straight man going to be attracted to a feminine looking man, just because that man has some feminine traits? Probably not. We still have overall views of gender as a whole that impact who we are attracted to. It's never as simple as you're making it out to be.

[samhradh_leannan]

There are definitely men out there who I wouldn't be physically attracted to.

[bekkesmash]

Gender typical and gender specific are very different. No male sexuality is simple, anthropologists say women don't even have a sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based on narcissistic sexual self affirmation. You aren't sexually and physically attracted to the male body in and of itself, you aren't sexually attracted to anything gender specific, anything innately male.

[samhradh_leannan]

Personality is not gender specific, but people with personalities also have a gender. In 27 years I have never felt one speck of attraction to any woman ever, so yeah, I'm definitely straight.

[bekkesmash]

But not physically or sexually attracted to the male body in and of itself to nothing intrinsically male, sad really. There is always the chance you could be attracted to a women, they don't pursue you like men do, if they did, you could potentially feel attraction

[samhradh_leannan]

I've gotten to know plenty of women, and have never developed any amount of sexual or romantic attraction to them, no matter how great their personality might be. Even if I don't choose my partners based mainly on their appearance, I still only have the potential to become attracted to men. There's no more of a chance that I will become attracted to a woman than there is that I will become attracted to chimpanzee with a really great sense of humor.

[bekkesmash]

Well you still aren't physically attracted to your boyfriends body in and of it self, sad really. You still aren't attracted to gender specific traits, it makes the sexuality amorphous.

[samhradh_leannan]

I don't understand how I can feel attracted to him without being attracted to him. It's all feelings anyway... if the feelings are there, they're there. If I feel attracted to him, I am attracted to him. And if connecting with him intellectually and emotionally first means that my attraction isn't real, then his isn't real either, because he went through the same process.

[samhradh_leannan]

And if I'm only attracted to men, then I am attracted to gender specific traits, because being male and having male traits is a gender thing. You are so way overcomplicating this lol.

[bekkesmash]

Trust me he was attracted to your appearance first, demisexuality in men is almost non existent. You are attracted to him, but not physically.

[samhradh_leannan]

Sorry, but I'm not going to take your word over his about this. I have absolutely no reason to do that.

[samhradh_leannan]

And I'm also not going to just accept that I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend when it's pretty obvious to me that I am. So good luck with this mission.

[bekkesmash]

You aren't physically attracted to the male body in and of itself, and it's supposed to be to aesthetics by definition.

[samhradh_leannan]

I do find his body aesthetically pleasing...

[bekkesmash]

Yeah, that's not what I am getting at, you aren't attracted to him through aesthetics.

[samhradh_leannan]

How does the fact that I find his body aesthetically pleasing mean that I'm not attracted to him through aesthetics?

[bekkesmash]

The aesthetics alone do not attract you sexually or physically in a way that would suggest a relationship.

[samhradh_leannan]

They attract me sexually and physically, it's just not what makes me choose to date someone.

Look, if you would like to stop putting words in my mouth, and stop telling me how I feel, and instead try to actually understand my point of view, then maybe we can have a productive conversation about this. Otherwise, we are not going to get anywhere here. You don't get to just tell a person how attraction works for them. You are not an authority on other peoples' attraction.

[bekkesmash]

So looks alone attract you physically and sexually? but you need more to want to date them? From what you said before it didn't seem so, it's seems you are changing your position now?

[samhradh_leannan]

I never said that I didn't notice appearances at all. I'm not sure how you got that impression. I notice people's appearances, it's just not what makes me want to date them.

[samhradh_leannan]

But I also don't desire sex with people who I don't have feelings for. It doesn't mean I can't acknowledge that they are an attractive person though.

[bekkesmash]

So you were wrong in your last reply when you said you were sexually attracted through aesthetics. Of course you notice looks, you notice girls looks too. But as you have revealed again, you aren't sexually or physically attracted to the male body in and of its self.

[samhradh_leannan]

I said I find his aesthetics attractive. That's still true. I never said that it was why I chose to date him.

[samhradh_leannan]

But if he was a woman, I wouldn't find him sexually attractive and I wouldn't be dating him.

[bekkesmash]

But as I said a hundred times what makes you sexually attracted to a guy is non gender specific.

[samhradh_leannan]

It's a combination.

[bekkesmash]

I think the order is very important to classify things.

[samhradh_leannan]

Well, my #1 requirement in order to be attracted to someone is that they are a man. So that should clear up this issue.

[bekkesmash]

So are you saying looks come first then? l just think (correct me if I am wrong) you look at men and women the same until you get an emotional connection with a guy. You see that random guy as the same as a random women until you get to know him.

[samhradh_leannan]

Well, there's appearance as in what gender a person is and how they look based on that, and then there is appearance as in how attractive they are for their gender/ specific physical traits like nose shape or whatever. I guess we need to distinguish which one we're talking about here. I did not consider caring about someone's gender to be the same thing as caring about their specific appearance aside from their gender.

[bekkesmash]

I put those into one pile. What I was saying about you is that a random man is no different to you than a random women.

[samhradh_leannan]

One is a man and one is a woman, so there's definitely a difference.

[bekkesmash]

You know what I mean, there in no difference in attraction when you see a random girl or when you see a random guy.

[samhradh_leannan]

There is a difference in how I feel. Like there is a potential for attraction. It's hard to describe, but it's there. It's like a mild version of attraction that can grow once I know the person better. I don't feel that with women. Never have.

[bekkesmash]

A mild form of attraction based on looks?

[samhradh_leannan]

If I don't know the person yet, I don't know what else it can be based on.

[Shimy]

I wouldn't get in a relationship with someone that I don't find at least a bit attractive

[bekkesmash]

But you found him that bit attractive before talking to him?

[laila23]

ughhhhhh not you drowning your sorrows and applying it to the rest of your gender

[keni101]

That's bullshit but i will say looks only get you so far if your personality is wack wich I guess mine is lol

[Anonymous]

because they are not with a guy that they find attractive

[bekkesmash]

Why would they be with a guy they don't find attractive? And is this the same for most women?

[Myranziel]

I've always been physically attracted to mine.

[bekkesmash]

Before you even spoke to him/them?

[Myranziel]

Yes, even then.

[confusednbored]

A big no for me. I like the guy

[confusednbored]

I like the guy's appearance before his personalities

[OreoMilkshake]

I don't get where you hear this stuff