Polls: Relationships

I usually just assume someone is being friendly/considerate. There's someone I met through a friend 1 year ago, and he's very friendly and social. We started talking more recently.

I have a feeling my friend told him I'm very shy with people I don't know that well, because whenever we're talking, it's like he saved all of the questions I asked him through text and shoots them at me to make me talk more. "I remember you mentioned [topic], what did you like about it?" He also always tells me the reason why he's replying late while he doesn't have to or tells me about funny anecdotes when we talk. And some of the information he knows about me is through my friend because sometimes I'm like: "I can't remember I ever told him this".

"Let me know how it goes"
"Hopefully we can play again"
"I'll let you know when I try"
He always makes sure I feel comfortable and is really helpful.

Some of his friends came over, but he asked to game together, so we ended up talking while they were in his room as well. I found it a bit funny cause we could ways play/call another time

I know every couple’s dynamic is different & what may seem dysfunctional or not the usual for some might actually work for others. My mom and her boyfriend have been together since I was 8 (over 20 years) and almost the whole time they’ve been together, they get in verbal fights where they’re cursing each other out a lot/insulting etc. They bounce back quickly enough tho, another thing I’ll add is my mom is the breadwinner. This has always been the case, she makes the money & he takes care of everything else. He is very useful when it comes to handy things, has a ged but has a criminal record (he can’t work bc if the govt. tracks him then he’ll get caught for unpaid child support). She nitpicks at him a lot & he reacts, plus I know he can say ignorant crap that gets her heated too. It goes both ways, I know people looking in think they might sound miserable or that setup is messy but I do genuinely believe they actually love each other. Is this something that I’d want for myself? Absolutely not but I guess never say never? Is it normal for couples to get that heated with each other often? The thing is: my mom always comes across as positive and seems content. I can’t tell if it’s for the sake of her kids or maybe she’s really in a good place with this guy

Personally I would never date a person that is more than 5/7 years older than me. I wouldn't do this for 2 reason:

• I am non attracted to older people, expecially if they are in their late 40s or 50s, because that would feel like dating my father, given the fact that they are close in age to him rather than me.
• I think that being in different moments of lives, take people in having different plans and ideas of how their future should be, I am young, I am finishing my studies and my priority is to find a job, to travel, find financial stability, while a man who is in his 40s may be interested in creating a family, he already has a job and financial stability, so he is living in a completely different way that I am living and I think this is a reason while I could not be compatible with a older man.

So, this type of relationship wouldn't work in my personal opinion. This doesn't mean that people can't make it work, it just only mean that I would not be able to make it work.

What about you? Would you evr date an older person? Why or why not?

Just found out the guy I hooked up with (three times) 9 years ago is married and has actually been married for 10 years! He didn’t have social media but I came across his picture on his wife’s social media celebrating their 10th year anniversary. That means that when we hooked up he was already married for a year… I don’t have any proof or texts because I no longer have my old phone/old number. I also saw that they have 2 daughters together. On one hand I feel obligated to tell her but I also don’t want to ruin a seemingly happy family and break their daughters’ heart… Should I just leave it alone then?

(We have since gone no contact ever since the last time we hooked up, it was all very casual and I’ve forgotten about him plus I’ve been in a happy relationship ever since then. That is up until he popped up on social media and caught me off guard - my boyfriend knows about all this and told me to stay out of it).

I always think of myself as very straightforward and someone who appreciates the opportunity to be direct (direct in terms of honesty if not brevity) to make sure that things don’t get unnecessarily confusing. I suppose we can I say I believe very strongly in being direct. I absolutely have no interest in being evasive…

However, in practice, often times when met with specific situations, I’m surprised at how NON-ecstatic I am to discuss things. (Not thinking of anything in particular at the moment, I’m just reflecting overall)

I think I’m finding a discrepancy between my opinion of how direct I am and how actually direct I am in ALL situations. Of course it’s Fairly easy to be direct about something that you want to be directed, but of course.

And of course we’re all going to have behavioral practices that differ from our ideas of how we behave but I think usually there there’s a pretty strong overlap. Well I guess unless you’re totally delusional, but let’s take for granted most of us aren’t totally delusional..

I think im _not_ direct a lot more often than I think i am. At least I WANT to be. That’s important 😅

Anyhow, I don’t know what stops me… True, it’s uncomfortable but I think 78% of my life has been uncomfortable so I don’t see that as being the main culprit. I don’t know firsthand that information is way worse in the long run.

Maybe I’m fairly certain they’re not going to understand if I try to explain and so I’m just saving us both time by saying nothing 🤔 that’s possible.