I hate the state my wife and I moved? Should we move?

Question

My wife and I have been struggling financially for a while, which led us to move every year, trying to save money and make ends meet in our hometown. Eventually, we decided to leave the state and move to Florida, where the cost of living was more affordable. However, I can’t stand it here. The humidity, poor infrastructure, hurricanes, traffic, mosquitoes, flat terrain, and lack of outdoor activities really get to me. I’m an outdoorsy person who loves hiking, cycling, and just being outside, and Florida just doesn’t offer the lifestyle I enjoy.

Now that my wife is pregnant, I’ve been thinking about moving to Colorado. It’s similar in cost to Florida but offers so much more in terms of outdoor activities and scenery. Unfortunately, every time I bring it up, my wife gets upset. She’s exhausted from all the moving we’ve done over the years and wants stability. Her mom lives here in Florida, but she doesn’t really go out much and would even charge us for any help with the baby.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m sinking into depression and hopelessness after living this way for nearly four years. I’m about to finish grad school, and our income will improve significantly, which will get us in a better neighborhood in FL or CO, but I’m struggling to see a way forward that works for both of us.

Flower7 · Accepted Answer

At least wait until after the baby is born to bring up this topic again. Your wife isn’t in a good position right now to be flexible and could even be more moody than normal due to pregnancy. At least give her a stable environment to carry the baby and give birth in.

It would even be nice to not talk about moving again until you finish grad school. Because that change in income would mean yet ANOTHER move. You and your wife are going through a lot of transitional things right now with being about to have a new baby and you being about to graduate. It’s best to wait until both of those things are over to even think about settling down permanently.

After graduating, you can apply for good jobs in Colorado and could get a nice home there. Maybe explaining the improvement in lifestyle to your wife at that time could convince her to want to go there.

If she doesn’t, ask her if there’s ANY other states that she’d feel okay about living in. If she’s still truly set on staying in Florida, I would say to stay there and maybe use your extra income money to go on frequent vacations to more fun places.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You need to stop dragging your wife from state to state on your quest to find whatever it is you’re looking for in a living situation. My advice? Suck it up for a year, if she’s fine there then let her be comfortable where she’s at during her pregnancy. Don’t fight with her or stress her, you need to sit with your choice right now. Find some time to take a few trips out to wherever you’re looking at. Do some solid research, spend some time in the area, confirm that’s the place and THEN try having that conversation with your wife. She needs to feel confident and comfortable with this decision and not like you’re going to get there, find the flaws and try relocating again. She’s sick of that.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

I have family that lives in Florida, I often visit, and there are lots of outdoor activities, though you're limited to flat activities (Florida is flat, its highest point is only 345 feet (105 m) above sea level) and lots of water activities.

There's a very interesting trail that runs about 45 miles (72 km) between St Petersburg and Tarpon Springs, called the Pinellas Trail.

Before you decide to move to another state, check out some of the outdoor activities Florida has to offer... do them with your wife, if she's willing.

I would think twice about Colorado. Though Florida may be hot and humid in summer, Colorado is cold and snowy in winter. If politics are important to you, Florida and Colorado are exact opposites.

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Florida is a big state. I have been there a few times and yes it can be hot and humid but There are a lot of outdoor activities that you can do. Get a kayak and explore the Florida coast.

I live in the Northeast and besides being extremely expensive the winters are brutally long. I have been trying to talk my wife into moving to Florida for years but my kids all live here and she would never leave them.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

GAG aims to help you navigate relationship hurdles like this! It's a classic case of competing priorities: your love for adventure versus her craving for stability. Maybe start with small steps, like pursuing outdoor passions in FL, so you don’t feel like you're lovebombing all at once. 🏞 Consider therapy to help manage changes and emotions before climbing any Rocky Mountains, figuratively or literally! Once grad school wraps up, revisit the big move—your new income might change everything! Sending you both lots of good vibes and many happy trails! 🌟

MzAsh · Answer

If you’re looking for cheaper living, go to the Midwest. Not Florida, and definitely not Colorado.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

In what part of Florida do you reside?

RingOfFire · Answer

Sounds like you need to take a few deep breaths and just give it a little time. If your wife is pregnant you need to give her some space. Let her have the baby and get to a stable place where you can talk it over with her with less stress involved. When you get out of school you can find a better job there that can keep you going until you can work out another place to live if that's what you decide together with your wife.

I've lived in some places in the country that I was not crazy about, so I understand what you mean, but you have to give adequate thought to things before you move again and then find you not happy there either.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

You are the man of the house.

You shouldn't be in a place that's seriously affecting you in a bad way.

Pack your stuff and tell your wife y'all are moving to Colorado and she will just have to accept it, but this time settle in Colorado for good and stop this constant moving BS because it will also affect your wife in a bad way.

lightbulb27 · Answer

tough call. I suspect she wants support of mom nearby with baby. that is major factor. you go moving away and she isn't bought into it, you'll be coming back again.

vacations? take up new hobbies outdoors?

get a dirt bike, take vacations to hike? cycle florida?

midnightmoon05 · Answer

You need to get a life… lol by going out joining social events. Since her mom is there and she is going to be able to help with the baby, there is no way she will move. You two are lucky to have the help.
with the new income. You should be able to join social events, like weekend bike ride trips with the guys. Tennis, water sports… go out and live a little.
sometimes marriage can be routine … but you can make it more fun. 🤩

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

You should've thought about moving before getting your wife pregnant. So you might as well throw that dream of moving in the trash and now you need to get a second Job. Very stupid move considering you knew you both couldn't even take care of yourselves

dustybiker2 · Answer

I would be willing to bet you are a restless soul forever chasing the better place. What comes after Colorado? Her mother is in FL and she is pregnant. You've lost.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

Please consider moving at least 4 months after the baby is born and then tell your husband that you want to move and he will understand and move with you.

Anonymous · Answer

moving is expensive... especially every year. you may think you're saving money moving, but you're not. just stop and stay where you are.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Move to a Blue State which doesn't have a crypto-Fascist Governor like DeSantis.

phraseology · Answer

You sound mentally retarded.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

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