Polls: Relationships

My partner would say things like "you can come if your heart desires/you're more than welcome to join us if you're able to" to me the way they say things like that makes me think they don't want me to come over

Let me be clear, I was in the wrong for being so needy and anxious last week (like called every day at least twice) and so with his change at work this week and supervisor being on duty, he has a lot going on. So when I asked if HE wanted space until after his "possible promotion" this weekend, he responded with "if you think that will help you, then sure. if not just let me know because I am down with whatever works best for you!"

I am much better this week, I was asking for HIM. So how would you respond? React?

Both involved a cruel person stealing someone's market value. Men and women are obviously valued differently. When it comes to love and relationships or marriage, what's worse?

- A man that promises the world and purposely wastes the woman's time and years. Then when she gets to a certain age, she gets ditched for someone younger. Not only she doesn't get those years back but she's depressed about possibly not being able to have kids anymore. The guy destroyed her years and her motherhood. We are afterall valued for our youth and fertility. Men don't care too much about our careers.

- A golddigger makes it harder for the rest of us to find a good family-oriented man. She uses him with charm but somehow he doesn't realize what she really is like. She got what she wanted and then wants to ditch him for no reason (just that she got bored, that's it), just for monetary incentive. She gets half of what poor man's hard work, destroying his market value he worked hard for.

I really sympathize with both cases. No one deserves getting their market value destroyed by cruel narcissists. Though personally I think the first case is worse. Money can eventually be earned back even if it takes years or longer. However, once we can't have babies anymore, that's not ever gained back, literally never. If our motherhood is taken away, it's forever gone. Money isn't forever gone.

My boyfriend and I have explained to my mom several times now that I need a much better job (outside of the house that pays hourly) in order for us to move in together later on…. my boyfriend and I are in a committed relationship for over 2 years now. My boyfriend also thinks that my mom doesn’t help me out enough or pay much attention to me and why isn’t she helping me find work….

My mom gets very mad and annoyed anytime we bring the subject up to her and in private she tells me negative things ( I’m gonna get tired out, etc..) and then says why don’t I continue working from home… My mom also thinks my boyfriend is going to make me lose my “disability” benefits that I get due to the fact that I hve severe anxiety and depression and learning disability - if I end up getting a job outside the house….

is she jealous of my relationship? Or is she fearful of me moving out?

ps - everyone loves my boyfriend and he has many friends and is well liked at his job as well

You're apparently in a good relationship but suddenly you've realized there are major incompatibilities. Just love alone isn't enough. Which would be worse:

- Poor communication: You were both in the "falling in love" stage that you failed to see if they share your similar goals and values. Neither of you communicated what you wanted out of the relationship. You've just realized you share nothing in common, have arguments and there is too much drama.

- Getting lied to: You were honest about what you wanted out of the relationship, your goals, values, etc. They pretended to assimilate to your ways and lied so they wouldn't lose you. However, there comes a point they can't keep up with the lie and the truth eventually comes out. You're rightfully upset they pretended to be on your same page.

as you may have probably guessed already, yes, im a minor (whos also almost an adult) questioning my long distance relationship, why? cause although i love my boyfriend and he's a sweetheart, i also want to feel want to feel teenage love and do things together here and there without having to use my phone or pc just to do so. is that valid? i dont know. but yeah it just feels like im missing out on ome stuff and obv im okay to wait for him but id have to wait until im an adult to actually do things with him which makes me feel a bit sad knowing i can only be a teen once in my life.

Do you like cuddles or are they something you're not bothered about?

Obviously both are liars and scams, using deception to get what they want. Though would say you baby-trapping a man is worse than strining along (giving them false promises of marriage and kids) women?

Male method: He's been living with his girlfriend for 8 years and he already knows from the longest that he won't ever marry her. Yet he doesn't see the relationship as that bad, just that he sees her as a good girlfriend but not enough to be a wife. So he keeps with sweet talks and false hopes. The woman continues believing him but gets depressed the relationship isn't progressing. She's not happy. Or he proposes with a cheaper ring and keeps her as a fiancee just to give her false hope and keep her from leaving but never plans a wedding date. By wasting her time, he's taking away her fertile years.

Female method: She's been living her with boyfriend for some years but is fed up with the situation. So she elaborates a plan to pretend to be on birth control or secretly sabotage it. Sometimes the woman already knows the guy isn't the type to bail out and is against abortion or she does this to someone that believes a child should be raised with marriage. Knowing that, she got what she wanted; a short-cut to a proposal and then marriage. She might even take that secret to the grave. The man ends up believing the birth of his child as an accident or miracle from god if he's religious.

This is how a baby-trapping (this woman got marriage out of that deception and the man never found out) story looks like:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/3427335-my-20-year-old-lie-secret.html#google_vignette

Both were about satisfying their own desires and needs; selfishness. Even though both are doing despicable acts (deception is already bad), would you say baby-trapping is worse? The reason I think it's worse is because an innocent baby (a small, living human) is used as part of the deception, scam. I think that's worse than even using someone for sex or money.