This question came up because I saw an opinion of someone saying they would rather be single than be a housewife or go 50/50 with a partner. They said "housewives raise kids and do most things by themselves with no help from their husband because "he works." So my question is: Is it really harder to cook, clean, and handle the kids than work full time? Does it depend on the job? Etc.
Yes
No
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Do you believe that being a housewife is harder than being the breadwinner?
Voted B. This can go either way. One thing about being a housewife (or house husband) is that your duties are simple and clear cut. You keep the house clean, cook, manage household expenses (via your partners money) and take care of the kids. It can be boring, stressful, etc. But your job and responsibilities are clear cut.
Caring for children is a very difficult job and I 100% respect any mother or father who devoted there time doing so.
But the thing about being a breadwinner is there is no guarantee you will make income sufficient to support your spouse and family and those people are completely dependent on you. Sure you don’t have to directly deal with the stresses of running the house. Sure you have a lesser role in caring for your children. But still you have a ton of stress placed on your shoulders to make income necessary to support your feeling and it’s not a guarantee. Just because you work hard does not guarantee you will be financially successful. You can become sick/hurt and be unable to work. You could be laid of from your job because of the economy. You could get “squeezed” at your job by greedy owners (this is happening right now to me)
Anyway I really f’ing fed up with society looking at male breadwinners like it’s an “easy” task. Like we don’t have stress and magically make more money just because we have penises. Any hard working self made man will tell you that is 110% bullshit.
Especially nowadays where men have additional challenges i. e. having less qualified women promoted ahead of us to meet DEI quotas. We also have far fewer “discrimination” protection in the workplace. If you are a straight white male (and yes we deal with discrimination too) you can forget it. But if you are a breadwinner regardless of gender/race you have to constantly stress about people who are dependent on you.
No. A hundred years ago... still no, especially given how lousy working conditions often were. But in these days of automatic everything? Electric dishwashers, power washing AND drying machines, microwave ovens, TVs to keep the kids distracted... it's NOTHING on what housewives were dealing with a century ago. However...
With only a handful of exceptions, when you're a breadwinner, you got to work and when you come home, you're done (for the day). It's over; your time is yours. Housewives don't get that; it keeps going pretty much all day. It's important to not overlook that.
It depends... If you're the housewife with the 3+ kids running around the house, juggling all the schedules and keeping everyone's **** together then that's basically harder than a 9-5 job because it doesn't stop. You're "on duty" in the early morning to get everyone out of the house to work/school/camp/etc. etc. etc. and then "on duty" again after dinner to get everyone's HW sorted and backpacks and whatnot ready... and then tend to the hubbie/SO... It's a 24/7 job. My ex MIL used to say she was a H. O. E. (which made us all laugh a lot, but she me and Home Organizational Engineer). Poor woman wasn't very educated and her English is... special.
Anyway, as a working mom + wife, that was my life while I was married in addition to being the breadwinner, so my schedule never stopped and I ran myself ragged for years. After the divorce there was way more balance... getting rid of the dead weight sitting on my coattails. I was able to take care of the kids and myself properly while working without the stress of managing a person who didn't have the family's best interest at heart for the duration of our marriage.
in my opinion... both housewife and breadwinner are great jobs if you LOVE your job. It's when you perceive them to be tedious/monotonous and forget your own purpose in these roles that the title you're not carrying looks more appealing to you than the one you are.
@DishLady Thank you for pointing this out. This job is physically and emotionally draining and it's not easy when people think there's nothing to it, LOL. Like, yeah, I don't think they know what they are talking about. Walk a mile in my moccasins before assuming I'm deadbeat lazybones mooching off the working man, ahem.
I don’t think so, being a house wife you could take a break anytime you want. Although you will likely be more depressed than having a job due to overthinking as you can rest whenever you want. Working life is tougher, you have to deal with unexpected events. Also, you will have to deal with shit from coworkers, boss, customers, etc. but honestly as a pessimistic person, I’d rather work than being a house wife. But if my husband is capable to care for us both, I will still work a part time job. I hate overthinking and must be distracted from my thoughts
Define “harder” in this context. The level of difficulty is pretty low, but for many ladies, myself included, it’s just not rewarding or personally tolerable as it doesn’t satisfy our life purpose.
Just my personal opinion, but if it's my partner and I have enough to provide for her, she can do what she wants. If she wants to be a housewife, she can. If she wants to work, that's also fine, but not necessary. Also just because a girl is a housewife shouldn't mean all she does is cook and clean. You're right that that's easy. I would want my partner to be happy. I'd encourage her to look for hobbies like reading and writing, doing art or DIY projects, gardening. Or engage in the community yoga or pilates classes, etc. Or even stuff like and volunteering if she feels like it. If she really wants, she can start her own business in something she's passionate about, whether it's selling baked goods, making scented candles, or anything she wants. At the end of the day, I'd just want her to be happy.
It's not you against your husband. Being a housewife (cooking cleaning, shopping, raising the kids), complements him, so that he can go out in the world and be more successful.
You don't invent some yardstick that can measure a mentally or physically taxing job against dusting and mopping so you can claim that being a wife is "harder" or "easier" than working. All that can possibly lead to is strife.
Instead, what you should do - man or woman - is measure yourself against your ideal self, who performed your role to the best of your abilities instead of against your true love, who's doing the same.
Measuring yourself against your husband is like arguing whether the engine or the tires are the hardest working part of your car.
It mostly depends on if kids are involved. Childcare is definitely a full time job of its own, which is why I think it’s important for mothers to stay home if they can, and not just have some measly maternity leave and then straight back to work.
If there’s no kids a housewife can have a pretty relaxed lifestyle, doing a few basic chores each day and then lounging until it’s time to make dinner. But in my opinion that’s also good because it allows her to have more energy and be in a better mood to help her husband relax after work.
Either way it’s never a contest for who has it “harder.” In my future marriage if my wife had a long day with screaming kids giving her a migraine, I want to do anything I can to help make her day better and relieve her stress. Likewise if I had a long day I want her to be able to do the same for me.
Being a stay at home parent is MUCH easier than working full time. The same people that claim it is so difficult are the ones that would refuse to switch places themselves and work full time while their SO gets to stay home and have the easier life.
The only way being a stay at home parent would be difficult is if they have poor time management and organizational skills, or if one of the parents did drugs in their past and have mentally or physically challenged/disabled kids. Otherwise it is easy.
I dont mind the kids but cooking and cleaning is something i do because I have to, not because i want to. Same with work. But i have a better chance of finding a job I enjoy. I dont wanna be tied to cooking and cleaning. I’d only be okay being a “stay at home mom” until the kid turns 3/4 and can go to preschool. Then i want to be out working
Tbh being a housewife sounds more emotionally exhausting. I think my preference is more the 50/50 thing, so that both parents can do a variety of tasks. I think it's less emotionally taxing that way, though plenty of people will probably disagree.
I wasn't wrong in my opinion lol. To only worry about yourself is the best option. Kids and men are just a burden of everyday life and make it not worth living. I always wanted a son but with how useless men are in this gen and the fact they want to be treated like women I don't see that ever happening. Most people are selfish and only worry about their own needs and not the needs of others, clearly we do not need another human on this planet lol.
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