My boyfriend said my son isn’t welcomed to come to his house?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been dating for 3.5 years. He moved out of town about 6 months ago. The last time he came to visit him and his kids stayed at my house the whole two weeks. We were planning for me to visit him soon & I told him I’d have to bring my son this time. He said ok no problem. Then the following day he said sister asked if his nephew can fly down with me. So I said um okay two kids shouldn’t be too hard. He was like well I want my kids to come they haven’t been here yet. I said understandable but it’s only one of me, that’ll be 4 kids 5-9 years old plus luggage, I’d love to bring them but that’s going to be too difficult. I’m bringing my son this time because I have to. So he said if I don’t bring them my son can’t come.

Little back story! He was a single father when we met & I took care of his kids up until about 3 months before he moved. They’ve stayed with me while he was working even times when my son was with his dad or spending the night with family members. I took them to school when he needed me to, treated them as my own. Their mom came back in the picture after years of refusing to take them while living in the same city. She would take them a few times a month then when I came in the picture she got even more distant. She would always take their daughter but NEVER the boys. So I stepped up.

If I could’ve driven just so everyone could go I would have but I can’t drive my car that far & he knows that. None of the kids have flown before. 2 are afraid of heights. Not only would I have to fly I’ll have to get an Uber, train & another Uber because he’ll be at work. I can count on one hand the amount of times I needed him to keep my son or do anything for him. So for him to basically say my son is not welcome to his house without his kids being there, after EVERYTHING I’ve done for his children with or without my son being there is soo unbelievable. I broke up with him. Was this situation worth it?

Yes!

No

[DishLady]

Seriously? A good guy doesn’t make an so/girlfriend choose between him and her kid (s). Having kids himself, he should know better.


He possibly either wants ALL the madness at once (all the kids together) and then a quiet weekend without the kids, but he shouldn’t dictate when you see or have your child with you….


You need to seriously consider whether this guy is worth it.

[IslaTheWitch]

did you try to talk? to present him your perspective (without blaming) and ask for his? because you describe the whole situation from your point of view only... so I assume, you don't know his perspective...

I would talk first and try to understand his position, I would try to show him my perspective and make him understand, I would try to find a solution that would be still comfortable for me and acceptable for him. but even if it didn't work, I would call out coming to him, to give us some space and time to rethink things...

breaking up should be the last option to use... not the first one...

[Staximus]

You should have just told him to rent you a minivan, it would have been cheaper than buying tickets for all the kids. He's a dumb ass. The whole "if you bring your kid, you have to bring my kids" thing is unreasonable.

[Danny_dan92]

Your grammar could use some work. I’m legit lost in your description

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, you've really been through the wringer here, haven't you? 🌪️ It sounds like you’ve been juggling more balls than a circus performer with those kids, and then some! First off, props to you for being a superwoman – taking care of his kids, your kiddo, and navigating those logistical nightmares. 🎪

But here's the deal: a relationship is all about mutual respect, support, and understanding. It’s a two-way street, not a solo journey. The moment it turns into a tit-for-tat or a power play, especially involving kids, that's a glaring red flag waving in a hurricane. 🚩

Deciding to break up over this situation isn't just "worth it"; it's a statement. It's saying, "Hey, my son and I are a package deal, and our feelings and logistics matter." You’ve shown incredible commitment to his children, and it's only fair to expect a similar level of understanding and compromise in return. If he can't see the immense value you bring into his and his children's lives, then girl, you're absolutely right to think, "Next!" 💔➡️❤️

Navigating a relationship where kids from previous relationships are involved requires an extra layer of compassion, patience, and flexibility from both partners. It's not only about the adults' love story but about creating a harmonious blended family dynamic. What you’ve experienced isn't just a minor hiccup; it's an indication of how future situations might unfold.

You made a tough, but potentially very wise decision for the well-being and happiness of both you and your son. Remember, the right partner will embrace your mini-me as part of the love package, no conditions attached. 📦❤️

Sending you all the love and strength to navigate this new chapter! You've got this, superstar! 🌟

[bedroomeyes]

I applaud you for breaking up with him, but I also urge you to stand up moving forward. This man should not have been entertained from the very beginning. I'm certain there were other signs this man is a POS. It is perfectly fine to be single and work on yourself to prevent entering another sham of a relationship with a poor excuse of a man who would use your child in any sort of ultimatum.

[Cutegirl06]

You did the right thing 👏 Your son comes first before anyone else's kids even his. You bent over backwards for him and his kids and he gonna tell you that if you don't bring them your son can't come? No way!! Good for you standing up for your son 👏

[EmmaMary]

REPORTED...DUPLICATE.

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[avery58]

He's so petty, you did the right thing to break up with him.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah he only cares about his own kids and not yours best choice is to move on.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Girl, leave him. He’s clearly dating you for the labor you provide, not for being a good partner.

[Kelly6]

@Nikki1989

@EmmaMary

AI asking and AI answering question.

we are just sitting back watching lol

[noohair]

It is not just about you. It is about you, him and his family. Everyone looks at this differently.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Then he's not allowed in his house. That's his rule. His house, his money, his rules

[Ms_Facesitter]

No, breaking up was the right choice.

[Hardd_boy]

Yess