My boyfriend never invites me over his house?

I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we're in our mid 20's.

He never invites me over his house.

His sister's boyfriend gets to go there all the time and sleeps over. Although she has a bedroom in the basement.

We live 20 minutes apart so not far at all! He only just comes to my house...

It hurts me so much to go over there only on holidays... and one time my boyfriend's mom was laughing about how my boyfriend's sister and her boyfriend fell asleep on the couch together and all that, how nice right?

Whenever I'm over there its only on holidays except literally maybe 3 times a year on a regular night and his whole family hovers and wants to be in their TV room and eventually I have to leave early, like they don't even give us space but his sister gets it.

I have been with my boyfriend THIS LONG and I barely even know his parents.

He says they don't ask about me or ask why I'm never there.

My boyfriend won't invite me over his house because he says "no, everyone's home, no there's nothing to do". If I ask him and tell him I'm going there then I will go there, but its not the same... and then I just feel awkward because we cant' even be alone! His dad will always come in, which is totally fine but I mean gimme a break! The sister gets all the alone time.

I'll never be able to experience what its like going to my boyfriend's house, getting close to his parents, falling asleep in his bed... I'll never experience that and it hurts so much. I honestly think its too late anyway... we'll be getting a place together in 10 months anyway. It just hurts and makes me feel resentful.

I don't think there's much that can be done for it but what I want is to feel better about it and not let it feel so painful...

I think what started it was back in the first couple years of dating we were both young, in high school. And I went over there fairly frequently. My mom stopped letting me over there because she heard I had drank alcohol. Plus I didn't get my license until I was 18 and he got his at 16... but since he had a car and my parents wouldn't take me there he just always came to my house. And then going towards my 20's that's just how it always was... maybe that's why its like this to begin with but I think I'm coming in too late to start caring... II have been upset about this for several years now though... and feel so left out...


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What Guys Said 1

  • I feel you. That can be tough when you don't feel welcomed in someone elses home. You tend to feel uneasy or you never feel comfortable. It sucks. As a man, he probably gets sick and tired of the family hovering over his every move and if its a lotta people in a small house, well that just makes a boyfriend/girlfriend situation even more difficult. So I do understand him not wanting you over his house. Maybe he thinks his family members are a bunch of idiots and he doesn't want you to be involved with that crap.

    Either way, this can be disheartening. Especially when it seems everyon leaves his sister and her man alone enough to let them make a porno (so to speak) but can't leave you 2 alone long enough to even talk to one another.

    I will say this: Don't let it bother you. You did kinda wait too late to speak up but don't sweat it. I have a general rule and that is when there is too many adults in a cramped area, chaos and madness will ensue. You're an adult now& now that you'll be livin in your own spot, you will realize that the holidays will do just fine (in fact...that'll be enough).


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