My boyfriend never comes over?

[lowkeycee]

So, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year & he still barely comes over to my house to just hang out. He's 21 and I'm 19. I go to his house all the time & sleepover, but he's only been to my house about 3x. At first his excuses were that he can't drive because his car wasn't working, then when he does fix his car, his excuses are about he can't drive his car in this weather or no money for gas. I've brought up this problem so many times expressing how much it bothers me that he doesn't come over and how I always go out of my way to see him. I've taken the bus to his house through pouring rain and storms without him begging me to. He's always saying that things will change & he will start coming over but he doesn't. He also doesn't like my family and explains that if he came over we wouldn't be able to do whatever like at his house ex. smoking or sex. My family doesn't very much like him cuz he's not around so then he uses also that as an excuse instead of trying to come over more & try to get along with them. It's just frustrating. Today I mentioned "so much for coming over once a week :(" and he replied "can you not" and says I purposely ask to come over at times I'll know he'll say say no to get mad smh. I just wanna know what I should do? Should I just stop going to his house until he makes an effort to come to mine? I don't know what to do :(

[Anonymous]

Seems to me lack of commitment. If your boyfriend truly cared about you, he would come over regardless if he's low on gas money, pouring rain, too much sun, too many accidents on the road or if his car had a bug on the windshield, needed to wipe down the steering wheel, whatever the hell the his excuse is. Your boyfriend of 1 year should’ve already met and get along with your family. It doesn’t make much sense to me, I may not know but maybe he's just keeping you around to just have a girlfriend.

My female friend used to drive 22 miles to go see me every other day (no car at the time), it amazed me. Same here I would stay over at her place late and take the bus home (2 hour ride). How is it your boyfriend can't do that? Keep talking to him about it. I don’t know how you two run your relationship apart from the distance problem you have, but if he keep avoiding something as important as coming over to get to know your family, more problems are going to stir up. You might end up having to look for another boyfriend hun. Be careful.

[lowkeycee]

He's met my family before, but I want him to come over more and hang out with my family sometimes. I've tried these conversations so many times and it just always goes how I ask at the wrong times and if I didn't bitch about it then he would of came over more. Thanks a lot for your advice.

[Anonymous]

It just seems like he doesn't care. If he said it's because he doesn't like your family then that's a big flag that he doesn't care as well. I dated this guy that lived an hour away from me. He literally would try to come see me every other day. My family isn't the greatest either. But he still put up with it for me. We Only dated for a few months as well. Maybe he's just to comfortable with you thinking that he can get away with it because you don't do anything seriously about his behavior. First you need to realize that if you really like this guy but he doesn't put in the effort to see you and deal with not being able to smoke or have sex, then he's truly showing that he doesn't care about the relationship. Then once you realize that let him know that you don't want to be In a relationship with someone that doesn't put in the effort. If he lets you go then he never gave a shit about you. If He asks for a second chance then he'll realize that this really bothers you.

[jennjn]

Went through this same thing for four years with my now ex boyfriend. He wouldn't come over for basically the same reasons. Didn't want to be around my roommates, friends or family, too difficult to have sex here as lack of privacy, my sofa hurt his back to set on it and watch TV, why would he want to sleep here as his bed at his place was more comfortable. He would not even come over on Thanksgiving while I cooked as said he would rather sit in quiet at his place and have me bring him food after.

In the end, he turned out to be a massive cheater for the entire time. Guess it would be too difficult to keep hiding his shenanigans at my place where he could not so conveniently hide his phones/iPad/computers in other rooms of the house, or on his desk, his briefcase, etc.
If a guy won't come over, he's not only your boyfriend, he's boyfriend to other girls too.