Boyfriend always wants to come to my house he go out on dates and stuff but then it’s always back to my place and never his?

[Krystal23]

My boyfriend and I go on dates every week but after the date he always comes back to my house.. even when I don’t really want too he becomes moody it’s just not fair because he’s in my space and I don’t know how he lives like even though he does live with his family.. I’ve never been invited once to his house. That’s why lately I have just distanced myself from him and whenever he wants to come I just make up an excuse what are you guys opinion?

[SteveSmith1985]

Well, you need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. What you're saying is not unreasonable. It makes sense, and it's a valid way for a person to feel.

However, do understand that he... isn't out of line in expecting this either. In a situation where the boyfriend lives with his family, and you don't... after a date... most of the time the guy WOULD always go to the girlfriend's house. That would basically be "a given" in a situation like that. The thing is... usually the girlfiend would WANT THAT TOO. That is the usual state of things. It's... very fair that he is assuming that it's ok. (now I don't know how long you've been together, but usually by the time "boyfriend" becomes the title... it would be a given that you're going to hang out after your date).

So you basically need to tell him how you feel. The way you feel is valid. But... it's also very unusual. So, do understand that he might be slightly offended when you tell him that after you go out to dinner... you just want him to go back to his place, and you want to go back to yours.

This is a bit of an odd situation. Because, like I've said... you DO have a right to feel this way... it's just... it sends certain signals that you do feel that way.

It's not a perfect analogy, but it might help illustrate what I mean: You do have a right to say I don't like it when my boyfriend hugs me or holds my hand. That's perfectly valid. You are not wrong in saying "I don't want this person touching me." But if that person is your boyfriend... he might be a little offended that's the way you feel about him touching you. Similarily your boyfriend might be offended that you feel this way about spending time with him after your date (which... usually is when the actual relationship happens. Hanging out just the two of you in private).

I'll be honest, I wouldn't really quite know what to make of this if my girlfriend said that to me. Usually it would be the opposite. You would be pissed off if he DIDN"T come over to your place after a date (like being pissed off your boyfriend never holds your hand... would be the usual complaint regarding hand-holding).

But at the end of the day... you DO feel this way. So... the same as if you DID feel like you didn't want your boyfriend to hug you... there's nothing to be done but to speak-up. You have every right to want your space. But... it's odd to want that space from your boyfriend. From a guy you're dating casually while seeing other guys? sure... but not usually your boyfriend. But an open and honest conversation is really the only solution here.

[OlderAndWiser]

How do you know he lives with his family? Have you ever met any of his family or any of his friends? If the answer is "no," there is a good possbility that the family he is living with is his wife or girlfriend.

[Krystal23]

Nope I’ve never met the family in my life nor has he met my family but he has been to my house FYI I live alone xx

[OlderAndWiser]

So you could very well be the other woman! Not an enviable position.

[RHK36]

You asking questions that you already know the answer to, talk to him about how you feel. If he is dismissive then you have your answer. The only way you'll find out is by talking to him.

[Alex8736]

he sounds like a selfish mooch