Boyfriend called me a spoiled brat. Who should apologize?

[Anonymous]

So, last night I got off work around 10. After work I went to get some fast food and since my boyfriend also gets out of class at 10. I went by the school to see him real quick. He asked me to come over to his house so I said sure and drove over to his house. When I got there he asked me to go get some food with him but I said no. I had already been in a car for like five hours (as apart of my job) and I really didn't want to go out again. My boyfriend got mad though because he thought it was rude that I was eating food and he didn't have anything. He lives with his parents and they had already made him food. He just didn't want to eat it or cook anything else. I also didn't want to stay at the house while he went to get food because I would have been by myself in another persons house, which is in a bad neighborhood by the way. So anyway , I just went home and I still Haven't talked to my boyfriend since. Do you think I acted like a spoiled brat? This really upset me because he always brings up how my parents pay for my things and uses this to his advantage (I drive us places 99% of the time, hang out at his house so he doesn't have to drive anywhere). And who should apologize? I feel like I should apologize first just to get rid of the bad feelings out of the way. Or should I wait for him to say something? Thanks in advance. I feel sort of ridiculous asking this question about something so stupid but I need to know:)

Updates

+1 y

Well to be fair to my boyfriend, I also live with my parents and they pay for everything (college, gas, food, clothes). I basically just have a job for my own shopping and food money and so I can have a good reference for when I want to get a real job after I graduate (44 days btw!). So I don't care that he lives with his parents. Its just annoying that apparently thinks I'm a spoiled brat.

Updates

+1 y

First of all, thank you to all of you who responded with thoughtful answers. Honestly, I didn't expect this many people to respond! But mostly I was surprised at some of the negative comments! Anyway, neither of of apologized. I just said, " So, do you still think I'm spoiled?" Him: :"yes". And then we both laughed it off and that was it! I guess we were just having a bad day.

[journeyman1126]

No. I didn't read your question.

You should apologize.

You're the girl.

You're all spoiled brats, princesses throwing Ken dolls in their nonexistent dens in the Barbie houses in the little rooms in your minds.

Okay, I'll read it now and see if I'm wrong.

Nope. Still right.

You did your own thing and assumed his world didn't fit in with your expectations. He is already trapped in the early 21st century slacker melodrama that is young(er) manhood in the Unspoken Depression era United States.

Poor boy is stuck with his parents, girl has a job, probably a more advanced education, and doesn't care that he waited around for her all night with his dipsh*t parents.

No, wait, he wasn't with his parents. He was at school. But you went out of the way to mention he lives with his parents. So. I get it.

Yep. You're spoiled.

And you're a woman. And you're in the new era. The one after the generation that was semi- fed up with their own mothers' feminism. Grateful, but not inclined to pick up any ERA signs and scream for ratification for fear of the baggage they might have to pick up as well.

You were born in time to watch Mad Men and consider the relevance of Peggy congratulating Megan for coming up with an idea that the men appreciate, and he was born in time to consider the moment Don goes to the opening elevator door, only to eye the the empty chasm of the elevator shaft.

And there he is, probably an admitted slacker, the same as most of the rest of us, still just trying to keep our sorry selves contemporary, relevant, or at least f***able. Knows the wars are bullsh*t. Knows the jobs are bullsh*t - some a**hole with no soul is going to take most of the credit for anything he does, some corporation owns the degree he'd get anyway, we're all just bought and sold commodities and this entire consumer caravan is breaking its own axles.

But the kids are in the back seats, on their iPads/pods/phones/puds, and Dad is either trying to drive while Siri/Garmin/Miss Perfect in the passenger (or driver's) seat is telling him what to do, or he's in the passenger seat, wondering if he'll get to go out and eat tonight.

I should apologize, actually.

It's too heavy. Browbeating.

A wannabe silverback, glowering in the bushes.

For you, in your individual relationship, I'd say you're probably just coming off an odd night with your beau. He's frustrated for his own reasons, which I can't guess.

You'll both apologize if you care. And then talk about...

[Asker]

Haha. First of all... you responded to my long essay with an even longer essay.

Secondly, Who the heck is Peggy and Megan?

Thirdly, What is an ipud?

Maybe you should try working out your own issues instead of trying to ruin people's lives over the internet.

A suggestion for you... go to google, search for the price of an ipud, order one on amazon, get express shipping and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT!

[journeyman1126]

Mad Men. It's a TV show.

Next time I try to make a comment on the state of the world, I'll remember what happens when I try to open a closed mind. I'll have to put a disclaimer in front of it like: I might not have read your question and I'm just going to respond off the cuff, or I'll make statements about society in general... ahem.

Again, I apologize for being heavy handed and browbeating you. Thanks for suggesting the self sodomy. Sorry I "tried to ruin your life."

[CGepford25]

Also, who shit in your corn flakes?

[Gloree]

You could be an annoying comedian and a great writer

[Pandagirllove]

Omg not all girls are spoiled brats get your information right u fucking dumbass there are girls who respect guys and who aren’t the ones who are spoiled are the rich ones some rich ones aren’t spoiled but some are oh and fyi there are guys who are spoiled too so if I were u I would shut the fuck up about all girls being spoiled when there are guys who are spoiled to so shut the fuck it about us girls or saying all the girls are spoiled when guys are the ones who get spoiled to there are girls and guys who aren’t spoiled while some are so if I were u I would be embarrassed about what u said and I would shut up

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I don't think you were a spoiled brat. I think in hindsight, you could call the next time before you pick up food and ask him if he wanted something.

So, dating some guy who still lives at home in a bad neighborhood and makes you feel 'guilty' for the stuff you have and the things you do sounds like a good idea to you?

[Anonymous]

it sounds to me that's he the spoiled brat not you! you didn't do anything wrong. I mean how much more out of your way could you go to accommodate his neediness? he lives at home with his mommy and daddy and can't even be bothered to eat the food there? and then makes winy comments about how your parents help you out? geez I don't know sweetie. I'd wait for him to come around and even then I think I'd seriosly re-evaluate the relationship. you sound like a good girl and you work hard. and it sounds you're working harder than he is. sorry if I sound mean but there's a lot of really nice guys out there who are willing to work just as hard as you are. take care ok?

[wonderful2nite]

she should apologize too.

[SparklingFirefly]

I think you probably should have called and asked him if he wanted anything while you were grabbing food, but I don't think you're a spoiled brat. He shoulda kind of just understood that you'd been in the car working for 5 hours and really just wanted to kick back and relax. There just needs to be a little bit of understanding between you both. I think you should tell him how you feel, and there's no reason for him to carry out drama or be THAT upset about anything. You were tired, and you didn't do anything wrong.

[Darkfairie17]

Sounds like he's the spoiled brat. His parents cook for him, he lives at home and he didn't like what they were having. You are not beign spoiled. It's called being tired after work!

[eklektik]

You should apologize to us first for torturing us with this essay that we're certainly NOT going to read and then go apologize to him for writing your personal conflicts with him to the world. You are being a spoiled brat by coming here and crying about it, hoping we'll tell you he's a bad bad boyfriend, and poor you... waa waa waa.

[SparklingFirefly]

Um okay? If you didn't want to read her "essay", you didn't have to. I read it every word of it. If it's too much of an inconvenience for you, maybe you shouldn't be on this site in the first place. People come on here to ask for others' advice. At least she's doing some self reflecting and asking for genuine advice. You're an idiot.

[eklektik]

tinyurl.com/mho4x6

[CGepford25]

Who shit in your corn flakes?

[Pandagirllove]

How about u shut the fuck up girls aren’t spoiled and girls go through a lot of things they go through so many painful experiences but guys tell us to shut the fuck up no can do u fucking ugly piece of shit u don’t get to tells us girls what to do

[greggeczi]

He should apologize. Any true man would never say that to the woman he loves, no matter the circumstance.

[tadpole25]

it seems like you are at no more fault than he is.

so he is wrong to criticize you when his situation is the same

[Tarvold]

He thinks you're a spoiled brat because he's a spoiled brat. He's projecting his insecurities on you.

[crazybastard]

whoever spoiled you should apologize and whoever taught that boy to say those things should apologize too.

[wonderful2nite]

You should both apologize.

[Santii1494]

he should apologize