Polls: Relationships

At what point should couples bring others in to help resolve problems? Whether that help be friends, family, marriage counselors, etc.

I've read this infidelity story before. I'll refer the names as Jane and Tom.

Jane was 19 and Tom was 20 at the time. They've been dating for 8 months or so when she got caught cheating. She cheated with Tom's good friend. Both got caught falling alseep in Tom's house, on his couch in a compromised position with the TV still running, an empty bottle of rum and empty snack bags. They had already finished the deed when Tom arrived. His friend was only in boxers and she dressed up with jeans but only had bra. Alcohol was involved and the cheating went on for nearly 3 months.

Tom somehow forgives that, reconciles and still marries her 5 years later. Jane changed for the better though, by her own admission never cheated again. Then 15 years into their marriage (and 20 years since her cheating took place) and with 3 kids, Tom begins coming home drunk and cheats for other reasons; midlife crisis. Tom briefly fell in love with the other woman, stole some of his wife's money to spend it on his affair, secretly gave his wife's meals to the other woman and was thinking about setting up a trip to France just to be with her for a bit, away from responsiblities, away from the kids, out of reality. Their ages by then are 39 and 40.

When is a relationship serious for you?

Would you rather someone give you a house as proof of an engagement commitment when proposing?

So my boyfriend used to work with this female co worker and he sometimes talk about her and activities she has done with her boyfriend. There's been a couple times where we would do things that she has done with her boyfriend and 1\2 we have done worked out. So anything she kind of does or says it seems like he put her on a pedal stool. Also before she switched departments my boyfriend seemed to have liked these healthy snacks I would make and then all of a sudden he would keep asking for the healthy snacks for his "coworkers" every other week because he has told me she loved them as well as other coworkers. When she switched departments he all of a sudden stopped asking for the healthy snacks for him to bring into work.

He has also mentioned briefly one time considering switching departments where she is when talking about his career or ideas she has with her career. He said they are really good friends and he has had no feelings towards each other/ nothing has happened between them. Whenever I mentioned a double date or meeting her he seems hesitant to set something up with her because she lives a bit far but still manageable to meet halfway.

Am I overthinking this or do you think there's something there either between them/ him having feelings?

Over here we get two days a year dedicated to love, Valentine's Day and St. Dwynwen's Day on the 25th of January. It gives men two chances to get it right. Now obviously you'll want to gift me something because I deserve it. So what can I expect from you?

Overall, how much does the woman in your relationship pay for?

If you're single, talk about how much you contributed in your last relationship.

If you've never had one, how much would you contribute if you did?

If you're with another woman, describe one or both. If you're a guy with a guy, explain your arrangement.