Is moving in with someone before marriage the best way to get to know a person?

[coachTanthony]

Yes

No

[Apple1996]

Yes you never truly know someone till you live with them

[Nikki1989]

You have to live with someone to truly know them.

[AviatorTom]

I wouldn't say it's the best way to get to know a person, but it's usually a pretty good way. Sometimes, it's interesting to go on a trip with them and see how you two interact.

[IslaTheWitch]

Marriage means we feel mature enough in the relationship, and we are ready to take it into the next stage.

Living together means we are already in a relationship; we solve problems and conflicts, and we learn each other on a new level. We discover all those small annoying things and learn which are modifiable and to which we need to get used to... we spend our days and nights together "testing" our compatibility and willingness to compromise and adapt.

I strongly believe it's a needed stage before we say our vows...

[BCRanger10]

No. A significant part of marriage is about growing together and making a life together. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. You're going to learn things about yourself that you didn't know before and the same is true for your spouse. It's very much a conscious choice. If you go into it with a "knowing each other first" mentality, you're putting limits on what you are willing to love. You're trying to fit an ocean into a thimble.

[coachTanthony]

By that time its' too late though if they end up not being the person for you hence the high divorce rate.

[HotLentilzzz]

Thats exactly why you should live with someone first….

[Drew-1990]

Actually, look it up divorce rates are higher when you live together first not the other way around.

[HotLentilzzz]

@Drew-1990 probably because the people who wait are religious and religious people are against divorce

[Drew-1990]

@HotLentilzzz that is probably a factor don't get me wrong but that is not the only reason. I would have to look again. The studies did explain but I can't remember

[TenderFantasy]

This is a hard question because there are lots of ways to get to know someone.

Maybe if you move in with them, you will get to know them as roommates.

If you marry before you live with them, you will be more committed to making it work because you've said your vows/promises to make things work.

People these days want to jump the gun already. People don't want to commit. My parents got married before they moved in together and they've been married since 1976. I think people these days just have way too many requirements in order for them to "take the plunge".

Yeah you get worried about oh what if they suck at life? Lol. Hmm...

[Overandunder89]

No, this is a load of nonsense that many people propagate today. I personally know of far too many marriages that have succeeded between people who did not live together beforehand as well as an equal number of marriages that failed after the vows had been taken between people who lived together beforehand. Getting to truly know someone has nothing to do with living with them. It has everything to do with them being open and honest with you and you returning the same and occupying the same living space in no way guarantees either will occur. It does not depend on physical proximity. It depends on emotional and intellectual honesty.

[bunnylove403]

No. Some men don’t help out with rent or fill up their gas tanks and if you break up with them they can exercise squatters rights. You lose the magic of the relationship and he stops taking you places. Let him live on his own until you marry him. You need to see if he is capable of taking care of himself, first. In order for him to make his rent on time he needs to have a steady job. You should wait 3-5 years before getting married. Enjoy the dates. Because once you get married he won’t take you out much.

[Anastacia1989]

I strongly advise against it…last time I moved in with anybody it didn’t work out and I ended up being used for my money and lost a lot of savings and he was abusive….

there are other ways to see your compatibility with a partner: goi vacations together, spend weekends and holidays, etc…moving in ruins things a lot of the time

[RainbowMarinade]

@Anastacia1989
You moved in with a guy before marriage, only to find out he was an AH.
How would marrying this guy before living together work prevented this?
I’m confused by your position. I would assume it a good thing to know he was an abuser before you committed to marriage.

[Jersey2]

Before marriage my now wife refused to live with me. She said it didn’t work out for her sister so it would be marriage before she would move in with me. We were together for about 5 years before we married and were long distance for 2 of those years.

[Simslover92]

Yes I definitely think so. You're getting to know all their flaws and what you can and can't handle early on by living together first. For some, certain flaws can be dealbreakers so it's best to live together first to see if you can handle it.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think it is important to know prior to getting married whether you can live together. Even if you are saving yourselves for marriage, you can stay in separate bedrooms and still figure out whether your compatible roomies.

[HawkPerception]

In my opinion yes. You don't really know someone until you move in with them. Because you have to deal with them on a regular basis, you learn all their habits, and how they deal with conflict much better.

[CozyCoffin]

Easiest way to have a failed marriage in my opinion is to not move in first, move in after marriage and end up hating each other in a matter of months because you're actually not compatible.

[Drew-1990]

You would be surprised, studies actually show the opposite. That divorce is higher for people who live together first and not the opposite. In my immediate family. We have no divorces and every one of them moved in after marriage not before.

[CozyCoffin]

Interesting

[CozyCoffin]

Sounds rather strange. What cultures was that under?

[Drew-1990]

It has been a while since I have looked into it. But it was mostly American relationships in the main one I read. But I remember looking into more and a found a few studies and surveys on it. It has been long enough that I would have to look again

[CozyCoffin]

Ok..

[Drew-1990]

I have learned over the years that many studies and surveys that go out will surprise most, the popular opinion on lots of things is actually not usually the most accurate truth. I first learned about the living together in in college years ago and thought the same but after really looking into it I found many on it saying the same. Some studies surprise me and some I don't like the truth.

[Drew-1990]

People are going to tell you that you have to live with someone first before marriage but studies and statistics actually prove otherwise. Divorce rates actually goes up when you live together first.

[Danielle2003]

No guy or girl should move in or live with each other before being married. That's what the courtship period is for- getting to know the person and seeing if you can make a life together, so when you get married, you know what you're getting into, so to speak.

Living together is a sin before God, and will be punished if not repented of.

[Flatmanlewis]

It may be the best way to learn more about them but I (having done so myself) would generally advise against it.

[RobT312]

Yeah it’s even better than on a vacation. It’s good to get to know someone in their normal routine

[exitseven]

I think so but I have heard that people that live together before marriage have a greater incidence of divorce than people that do not co-habitate.

[NathanDavis]

don't know if best... but one of the better yes

and it will both, work and NOT work for some people

[TheSpider]

I did I asked my wife to marry me on our second date. She considered and said "let's live together for a year and see." So we did, Her parents didn't object. And a year later we did. We been married 35 years,

[EmmaMary]

@coachTanthony

I absolutely thoroughly encourage, endorse and fully recommend it 100%.

[Honest-Matt]

Absolutely move in with someone before marriage. You learn about someone fast.

[worldscolide]

I couldn't marry someone without at least a year living together.

[Wiredone]

I think it's good so you can see if you can actually live together.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Definitely. Sharing the same space within a home with someone will expose their true self rather quickly.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Misread your question. I don't support living with someone before marriage but once you live together you will definitely get to know them very well.

[HotLentilzzz]

So you recommend marrying someone you dont know very well?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@HotLentilzzz: No. It's all about finding the right person.

You can know someone for years then they change on you and become someone you never thought.

Then they are people that meet and marry within 2 weeks and live long happy lives together.

[HotLentilzzz]

And when it comes to giving advice, I would never advise someone to marry a stranger or someone they dont know very well. there's no fail safe for anything but its about making the better decisions to try to prevent disaster.

I would advice someone to do long sleepovers and move in after a year or 2 and if they feel like they must get married, so be it. But marriage is never needed.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Imagine you find out he's a serial killer lol

[blueonblack22]

Years ago this was called “living in sin”. Nowadays it’s par for the course. But is really resulting in long term happy marriages?

[Staximus]

Yes and anybody who says otherwise is an idiot. Like Apple said , the only way to truly know somebody is to live with them. Marrying somebody before you are sure you can live with them is just plain stupid.

[dolemite58]

It gives you a preview of much ur life is going to be a nightmare

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes.

[PeachyPie93]

Yes it is a very good way!

[Enginn]

No. You dont have to move in to know someone. You start knowing them the second you meet them.

[justabuddy]

If the timing is right. You want to take other steps before going to this level though.

[electromagnetic]

I think so

[Jennuine]

Just do it.. there's no other way for me it..

[DJB72]

It increases the odds of divorce statistically.

[JustinTheGreat]

Of course

[Booklover_90]

No thanks.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Yes….

[msc545]

Yes it is.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Yess.

[Slim57]

It could be