#FeelFreeToList #GoingtheDistance
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I've don't both ends of the spectrum... Moving in together after only a couple months and waiting for almost 2 years. I can say with confidence that the time has absolutely no bearing on the quality of the relationship or its longevity... with one major exception. By living with the person you're better able to assess whether you can stand to be their roommate for life. You get the full experience that your partner would have hidden from you if you were living apart. In my opinion, might as well get the ugly out in the open and figure out if it's worth the effort. And you're more likely to resolve conflict over living together while still in the honeymoon phase of a relationship.
Yep but i still need close to a year
I wouldn't want to rush it, probably wait until either engaged or married
Right. Like moving in is a HUGE step. I prefer engagement because at least you know you’ve gone from major relationship commitment to moving in
It really is! Especially if you're buying a home together
Oh well i meant apartment wise. I personally dont want to buy a house unless i’m building it. I’m hoping i can afford to build a house before i reach age 35. I want a very nice simple yet elegant 3 bed 2 bath style ranch. But not a country style one
Nice! Sounds lovely
Most people spend 500k on building a home. I’d spend around 280k not including land/furniture. here's an example style i’m liking. But mines a bit different. And see i want a single story but for example the second floor would just be attic space
Wow, that looks super nice.
Thanks! I have an elegant style yet the inside is gonna be liked a college dorm theme. Pool tables and all. Not your typical home :)
Even better! Elegant and sophisticated to the street, fun and wild on the inside
Haha sounds like myself
I totally thought that saying as I was writing it and struggled to keep from saying sheets lol
With what I've seen of your mind, that's an amazing compliment! Thanks!
Haha i missed talkin to ya
And I you. Unfortunately by the time I got home (again) it's late and I'm exhausted, but I wanted to make sure to at least get on here and say hello 🤎🫂
And i thank you for that :) i understand you’re tired. My new shift is now 9-6 so i get some time on here after work. I just hope you get more sleep once you do sleep
All I can promise is to try
How do u keep awake at work? Do have like a really hands on job that requires you to move around?
That would make it much easier. I sit at a computer most of the day, it can be a struggle but you learn to get by
Lol i do the same! Like gosh i already wear glasses. Sitting behind this work computer prob makes my eyes worse. Hopefully not but possibly
The worst is when working with a migraine and staring at the screen all day
Omg yes! I haven't had bad migraines since college and pray they never return. I keep my computer and phone screens so dim thatbfrom the side you’d think theyre turned off
I wish that worked for me lol
I really should head to bed. I hope you have a fantastic night! 😘
Goodnight :)
Made it til almost 4 today lol
Lol daily improvement 👏 now try to make it til 5 this time haha
Hahaha... That's not easy lol
I understand. With me working at 9am, i try to sleep at 1 but have been staying up til 2
I usually try to get to bed by 10, but I may have been happily distracted this week 😘
Lol yea you were haha. I figured you’d prob only be free on the weekends so I try to stay patient. I just love talking to you
And I love talking to you, which is why I'm happily letting myself be distracted past bedtime 🤎
I keep forgetting you’re an hour ahead
What can I say, I'm fast 🤣
Haha not that fast because you caught my eye 🙃
https://i.gifer.com/CbKB.gif
As long as we stay on pace with each other, right? Unless you're planning to throw me through a portal into another dimension I'm
Nah i’m not letting you go that easily
Good! Cause I plan to hold on tight
Dang it. Everytime i try not to smile (although i’m a smiler), you force it out of me haha
Yay! Ok forward to seeing your actual smile, and especially to continue to cause it
Now i’m smiling harder :D
Yay! It worked! 😁
It only works if you’re smiling just as hard
Oh you bet I'm grinning ear to ear
Haha good to know. And oh gawsh i’m so gonna need porn tonight 😂
Or maybe at some point a phone call to truly get you off 😘
I’d start off so shy haha
I understand that, I can be super shy in the phone too, but I figured a phone call to stay is more appropriate than a video call lol
I’m not shy when talking on the phone. I’d just be shy if we called just to talk dirty lol. I like for it to “just accidentally happen” one night haha
We won't call just for that, we'll call just to chat, and that may just happen on it's own
Sounds good haha. Just know it won't be first nights call... i mean, im a good girl after all haha
I don't expect it to be 🤎
Hmm. My boyfriend basically moved in with me a month into dating - we couldn't stand not being together, so he spent most of his time at my place and I think that this enabled us to get to know each other much, much better than other couples at that stage in their relationship.
We've been together for 6 months now and will soon move in officially, just after having known one another for a year (but not having been together for a year).
With my 2 exes, I never had the desire to be that close to them and would've waited until after getting married to move in with them.
It really depends on the person and living situation!
Wow it really must depend on the person
Yeah - I mean, it was a convenience issue more than anything else, I hated having to plan our dates really carefully each time, so I figured it would be easier if we were in the same location.
You learn a lot about each other when you live together, but it would've been fine if we hadn't spent that time so close together too.
We didn't even have sex yet, I just read your update, I don't think those 2 things are related (moving in & having sex).
I remember he wouldn't go number 2 at my place in 2 weeks - he'd always go to a store's or restaurant's rest room LOL. That was pretty funny, he was so shy!
Lmao i still won't #2 outside ofnhome 😂 i went a week once without #2. I threw up everywhere when i got back home lol. I've done about 3 diff years now
Well, he said he went a week without it too, but when I have to go, I have to go.
I remember vividly getting to know his family, not being able to eat in front of them, getting my period a few days later and VACATING the scene LOL you should've seen me run! By the time I got home, I needed to take that period #2 some people know.
Oh my god. That was awful.
So yeah, I get why he didn't want to go #2 at my place.
Lmao i never understood why the period makes us #2 😂
My biology teacher told us that it's because before your period starts you retain water and when you get your period, your body wants to get rid of that water, causing some women to have diarrhea while on their period. Like it isn't bad enough already! OMG
Man my period ain't been on in 6 months 😭
Oh no, what happened? Do you think you may be pregnant?
I haven't had sex since 2018 lmao
oh my, that was rather long ago :D
is something else going on? I'd be really worried if I didn't get my period for half a year, unless I was on the pill and willingly surpressed it, LOL.
I dont even believe in BC. My doc wants me to take it for irregukar periods but i refused to
Ugh, the length these creeps will go to. Deleted that comment for everyone's sanity's sake, Jesus.
😂😂😂
Thank you for the MHO!
We are both waiting til marriage. All three of my sisters, and my parents, waited til marriage and they all said it was the best decision for them.
Plus I feel like living together before marriage makes marriage a little less exciting because you already went through that stuff way before tying the knot. But of course to each their own. That’s just my personal preference.
No i agree. Thats why i wouldn't move in until at least engaged. I dont intend to be engaged for more than 3-6 months before marrying
@DizzyDesii 3-6 months isn't very long to be engaged. I think an engagement should be longer than that. You need enough time to be able to change your mind and back out if necessary.
@Jamie05rhs i learn a lot about people in 2 weeks to 3 months. I can surely know if i wanna stay with em in less than 6 months. We all work differently. If we’re engaged, we probably already dated 2 years and are now on the 6 months after those 2 years. Im not gonna keep pushing back the wedding
I also wouldn’t wanna be engaged for long. I would start planning the wedding pretty soon after. I’d rather date for longer.
"I can surely know if i wanna stay with em in less than 6 months."
@DizzyDesii Stay with them for LIFE?
1-2 years
Minimum
Same here.
Opinion
43Opinion
A lot is relative. If I was dating someone from a different city or country, I'd be considering jobs close to them. If I was successful at finding employment where they live, I'd express a desire to move in with them.
If the relationship didn't work out, I'd at least have some experience at the job and could shift to a hotel room or find my own apartment.
If the job didn't work out, we could continue to date and I'd keep looking for jobs.
That would have to be after at least a few dates and depending on the living conditions (e. g. separate rooms) as constant contact could drive a wedge in.
Ooo good point
I might change this but considering I have to get to know them for six years before committing half way sounds good since I do need to get a good feel of what it's like to live with them. I can't believe I've never considered this it's a really good question, I can't even stand having friends living in close proximity. Pretty tough question.
6 years holy smokes
At least 3 months. Im married and we own a home. But if that wasn't the case if I owned the home 6 months or more. If I rented only a couple of months. The reason is because once someone moves in it becomes their home too, and they have some legal rights. Id hate to risk my home over a new partnership.
Yea i dont blame ya
Hard to say. It would depend on how well the relationship progressed. If and when I knew that she's the one God wants for me through confirmation, it'd be irrelevant to waver anyhow so we'd probably both be prepared to move in with each other as soon as convenient.
You dont see that as shacking up?
It might have been unclear but I presuppose here that marriage has preceded the moving in part.
Ohhhh so you marry before ever even moving in?
Of course. It's quite common among Christians to not live together if not married, while not expressively forbidden in the Bible, the temptations to have sex increase drastically when you live together.
I dont believe in shacking up fornlonbut i feel being engaged and living together 3-6 months before the wedding isn't bad
I would need to spend each day with them for 3 years before I would have sex with them, if it goes well, it would be a daily thing, then another 5 months of seeing how that goes before moving in, 1 year after moving in, if we are stilll good in every respect, I'd marry them.
Shit i got lost in the math lmao
3 years to get to know them.
Then 1 "test" fuck.
Then 5 months of sex.
Then moving in.
Then 1 year of living together
Then marriage.
To be honest, I'm really torn, on the one hand 3 years feels like an eternity to wait just to end up with; "oh, the sex is bad", guess I just wasted 3 years.
I really wish stds didn't exist and pregnancy had an off switch, so I could just bang her on day one to see if I should spend the next 3 years getting to know her.
On the other hand, I've tried gettting to know someone quicker than 3 years, and it just doesn't work, I can't find anyone that open and honest.
Oh well.
Oh i get it now. Well i always gad to date someone at least a year until i felt in love enough to have sex. Even if the sex wasn't good i’d try to teach them some things to make it work. If it still didn't then i understand why you’d break up
I need love, compatibility (views/hobbies/interests), and sex.
The love part is why I need 3 years to get to know them first, because they have to reveal the compatibility part first for the love part to happen, and compatibility takes fucking forever to reveal.
By the time the test fuck rolls around, i've gotten to know them well enough to know if I love them, which to me kinda sucks, cuz at that point i have to hope the sex goes well, and if it doesn't it's gonna sting to break up.
I'd much rather the emotional attachment came after knowing that both physical and mental compatibility were a match, not just the mental.
The reason sex outside of love is a strait up nope from me in the begining is because of the std risk and pregnancy risk involved with sex, essentially it's the fact that its not consequence free.
Exclusivity once perfectly matched is a requirement for emotional reasons, but during the selction process, it acts as an unfortunate delay mechanism in finding the right person, because if person 1 doesn't work out, thats another 3 years getting to know someoen else, only to possibly repeat a failure cycle.
it's honestly really frustrating, but I can't think lf any other method thats faster but not also risking my saftey.
The holy grail of dating would be a way to know everything about a person almost instantly. compacting a 3 year "investigation" into an hour or day, but that doesn't seem likely.
As far as "teaching them things" thats not what i mean, no practice does not = not going well.
I mean stuff like my dick won't fit in there without it hurting her, or I don't like the taste, or the smell, or we find out she only gets off on anal and i'm not putting it in there cuz ew, or something else that can't be changed via practice.
I don't care if she has no idea what she is doing lol, I don't want a "seasoned" person, I'd rather she was a clueless virgin tbh.
I also prefer clueless virgins
Well not clueless but knowleadgable porn watching virgins ig lmao
lol if she doesn't watch porn there is no second date. same goes for watching anime and playing video games.
Marriage!!!
The only time I'll have a woman living in my house is if she's my wife.
Moving in with your girlfriend/boyfriend seems like a very dumb idea to me. I mean why would you do that? 🤔
Why would you marry someone you haven’t lived with? That just screams bad idea
Both of you have a point. I personally only need to live with them for at least 3 months before marrying. Gives me time to end it if i ain't feelin their living arrangement style
İ think it is at least 3 months even If you are a very good person to analyze character of your partner. People usually pretend in at the beginning of the relationship. After 3 months, we can see their real character. Then we can decide moving in together.
I see
Prolly about a year, depending on our situations. There's a lot thats comes into play when thinking of living with a significant other. Financially, emotionally, physically, who's gonna move where etc... Uk?
Exactly! I need to know they won't leave me with all the bills. We gotta be responsible enough to split em
If I am constantly interacting with a person for a year we are basically inseparable I don't know why but anyone who has the patience to put up with my shit for a year they consider me family so for me I'd say a year
Hahaha i hear ya
For me, around a year because I own my house. I'm not going to let him move in this easy until I know I can trust him and stuff.
I feel you on that
I would not place a time limit but rather when one person sleeps over 4+ times a week then at that point it seems pointless to maintain two households.
Ahh okay
I wouldn't unless married.
If you're already living together, what is the point of marriage? What do you have to look forward to with marriage?
You have a point. But i prefer to wait til engagement. I have no intentions of being engaged longer than 6 months. So we’d only be living together 3-6 months before marriage
6 months - 1 year even though I wouldn't stay with someone until they're fully invested. Could be that time or marriage.
Oh wow okay
6 months to a year. I wouldn’t wait for engagement I need to know if we can live under the same roof and not get on each other’s nerves before that😁
Lol i remember discussing this with you on a post a while back so i had to ask hha
Lmao it was last week 🤣
@yofuknutz please dont spam my notifs
I have not gotten it wrong on a gut feeling, which never was dictated by time but by closeness.
Would say 'you feel it right away' - probably from the first encounter.
Maybe it takes a few weeks to surface to the forefront of your mind.
The time it takes is more related to your circumstances - whether you are already single and looking to live with someone, have an existing lease which you need to end, or room for that person where you already live.
If you start a relationship because your lease is ending, then your priorities are woefully misaligned.
@Jamie05rhs not for that reason, I never said anything remotely interpretable as that.
I sad if you met someone you liked and could walk out from a lease (or your parents' house) I see no reason to wait any specific duration of time to move in.
You talk to the said person, and if they feel the same - you simply can.
If you are a more serious type you could talk the goals too - if you both agree to wanting children with each other - what else would you be doing?
There is a part of resolving previous leftover crushes, if any - but that's a different topic.
Okay. Thanks for explaining your view!
I would not move in with her until after the wedding. However, before the wedding, I’d be working on either having her move her stuff in or moving my stuff in, depending on who needs to move.
Sounds good
I can't imagine myself moving in with a man at this point because I have my own house with my fiancee, but before I did, I was comfortable moving in with guys after about a month or two of dating. Moving in with someone, especially when you're young and struggling, makes living much easier for both of you when you split certain bills.
Oh so got like roommate purposes... yea i never want a roommate unless we’re engaged 🤣 but i understand
@DizzyDesii: Something like that. I wouldn't say strictly for roommate reasons, but the living easier thing is an added bonus. It's also a good way to get closer to your man early, see how he lives, how he takes care of himself, and makes it easier to tell if he's a cheater. I say the best, wisest, and most practical decision would be to move in with your partner earlier than engagement so that you can fully get to know the man that you want to marry and avoid being disappointed when you finally do move in with him.
Engagement isn't marriage though. So there's till time to end it within those 3-6 months of rooming together while engaged
@DizzyDesii: Ending a relationship when you're engaged is still devastating though. An engagement is reaching a higher level than normal dating. Ending it at that level could really break your heart. You don't want to learn all the negative things about your man at that level.
Oh believe me, i know. I've been there. Waste of 2 years
Depends how the relationship progresses I guess, I think 6 months is a point to start thinking about it
I mean i wouldn't date them if i didn't consider it earlier than that. But i just wouldn't move in in less than a year
If I did do that probably around a year. St that point I’d know wether they’re in it for the long haul or not and if they’re serious about me.
Yea a year id good in my opinion
I would say a year it also depends how much time you spend with the person. Last thing you want is to move and you both find each you are in each others way, and that you need your space
Exactly thats why i said close to marriage but definitely before marriage
maybe a year or two after having sleepovers and hanging out at each others places for a bit for a taste as to what to expect if we do escalate to the moving in with each other phase
I agree
I'd wait at least six months. It takes that long to plan a wedding...
Sounds good
I moved in with my first girlfriend after we were together for six months. I quicklu learned that unless you both want to take the relationship to the next level (at least engaged), it is not a good idea.
Were you not together long enough? What do u mean?
I waited a year before my girlfriend and I moved in together. She is now my wife of 26 years. We've been together for 36 years
Yes i also said a year
The wife and her son moved in with me after 2 years of long distance dating (she was in Texas and I was in Missouri/Kansas while dating). Then we got married a year later.
Sounds like good timing
Depends on the situation, for me I moved in with her after 3 months but for most people I'd say a little longer unless you were longtime friends with them
3 months is still soon
I mean I was friends with her for 4 years before
Hard to say.. 6 months maybe, but could be less or more.. Would depend on how fast we are getting to know each others habits and stuff. How often do we already see each other.
Ahh okay
I think for me, it's less a time than it is when we are both comfortable and that could be shorter or longer. To put a time on it... I just don't know yet 🤔
I think 6 months. It takes a while before you know somebody enough.
Yep thats why i always leaned closer to 1-2 years
I was with my wife for just under a year before she moved in.
Sounds about right
Few months to a year yeh. Engaged or not doesn't exactly matter to me as much. Just connection and trust have to be at a certain level
Oh wow
Wow Oh
After 3 months or how things have progressed, i would be comfortable in moving in together with her
Wow 3 months of dating?
it depends so much on the type of connection you have with your partner... However, if you want to play it safe I would wait 1-2 years to get a close idea of how a person is.
I don’t really know. It would depend how I felt and what our chemistry was like.
I see
No idea anymore. Let me find a person willing to date me first. One step at a time you know.
Trueeee
I would never move in until married.
Totally understandable. At least engagement for me
At least 5 years, preferably 8.
Damn
At least a year I need to see all the cycles
I agree
I would say 6 months to a year not too sure
I see
Live separately, either more expensive now or divorce is more expensive layer later.
Depends I guess, if I had to say probably a year or two
I'd prefer to wait until marriage.
Like i dont wanna shack up but i wanna live together for a few months before marrying like while still engaged. If things dont workout, we can break it off before marrying
I don't mind trying out living together. But it should only be for like a week. Sleeping in separate rooms. And you should have a third person there in a third room as an insurance policy. Their job is to rush in and pour a bucket of cold water on you guys if you start to misbehave.
it varies from person to person and there is no one word answer here because every person's situation is different but it shouldn't take longer than a month if there both doing things properly.
Get married to move in
Totally understandable. At least engagement for me
Once you get married.
I see
We waited about 18 months before the commitment
Sounds good
About a year.. all depends on circumstances too
I understand
It doesn't matter how much compassion is between you, and the list and great sex, or no sex till married. It doesn't matter til yo
People put up roommate applications on craigslist.
Is it really that big of a deal?
I wouldn't do a roommate. I dont know them
Hmmmm! 🤔 Thats a hard question cause I really don't know
2 years.
I used to day the same :)
Minimum 5 years.
Good gawd
2 years
Good
Depends on the person
Half an year
Never. Lol
you're enjoying your bachelor pad huh
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