I went on a first date with this guy who I met at the coffee shop 4 days ago. He came up to me and asked for my number. I rarely ever give my number but thought why not, he seem polite, this guy took the guts to do that and it’s rare with the whole online dating world.
I knew nothing about him, just his name and job before this date. I knew he was older than me, but was not expecting what was to come.
At the start of the date, he apologised for not telling me and he didn’t want to just text me, but he is about to start separation proceedings, have two daughters 12 and 15 - so still married and kept referring to his wife in the date, which I felt a little uncomfortable and wrong that I’m sat there. They’ve been married for 18 years, he’s 45 and I’m 33. But his marriage was not working for at least 10 years and they stayed together for the children, but it’s no longer working and they’re unhappy. He admitted there were cheating on both sides, which I felt is a red flag for me.
He was surprised I agreed to go on this date and didn’t think it through with his circumstances. He said he has no expectations from me as he has nothing to offer right now - but maybe in 6 months / a years time.
Not sure how I feel about this, I didn’t feel the age gap even with 13 years difference, but I’ve never been in situation before.
He wants to go for a meal sometime and wants to see me again even if it’s as friends but I feel it might be lead me down the path where he would want something once he’s divorced. He has a lot of baggage to work through.
Feels complicated and don’t know what to do. He’s a very nice decent person so far, but it is the cheating that’s a red flag for me. His children don’t know they will separate soon. Feels wrong to pursue someone when you’re technically married even if you have checked out of your marriage for years.
Anyone been in this situation? What’s it like to date someone going through a separation / divorce?
I knew nothing about him, just his name and job before this date. I knew he was older than me, but was not expecting what was to come.
At the start of the date, he apologised for not telling me and he didn’t want to just text me, but he is about to start separation proceedings, have two daughters 12 and 15 - so still married and kept referring to his wife in the date, which I felt a little uncomfortable and wrong that I’m sat there. They’ve been married for 18 years, he’s 45 and I’m 33. But his marriage was not working for at least 10 years and they stayed together for the children, but it’s no longer working and they’re unhappy. He admitted there were cheating on both sides, which I felt is a red flag for me.
He was surprised I agreed to go on this date and didn’t think it through with his circumstances. He said he has no expectations from me as he has nothing to offer right now - but maybe in 6 months / a years time.
Not sure how I feel about this, I didn’t feel the age gap even with 13 years difference, but I’ve never been in situation before.
He wants to go for a meal sometime and wants to see me again even if it’s as friends but I feel it might be lead me down the path where he would want something once he’s divorced. He has a lot of baggage to work through.
Feels complicated and don’t know what to do. He’s a very nice decent person so far, but it is the cheating that’s a red flag for me. His children don’t know they will separate soon. Feels wrong to pursue someone when you’re technically married even if you have checked out of your marriage for years.
Anyone been in this situation? What’s it like to date someone going through a separation / divorce?
