<Weird title, but I felt it necessary to disclose the fact that I'm not religious so people wouldn't think this was some propaganda piece trying to force them into believing something they don't want and so all the actually religious people wouldn't read this expecting a long sermon about God only to find somebody who doesn't actually believe in what they believe>
If there's one thing I can state with absolute certainty: For better or for worse, organized religion is here to stay
I used to have a "for worst" point of view. I didn't see how organized religion could benefit anybody and only saw the chaos and destruction it created. Over time my views have changed. I'm still not religious and I doubt I ever would be. But I don't think it's all bad. I think actually a lot of good can come out of it- even the less "good" parts.
The fact that organized religion has stuck around for X years (forgive me, I have no concept of time or history) leads me to believe it has some staying power. People start a weight loss regime and quit just one week later. People follow an organized religion for 80 years- 80 YEARS.
So it's worth at least taking a look at what makes organized religion so effective and see if by combining the positive qualities of following a religion with the positive qualities of not following one, we can't better our own lives.
-So- what makes organized religion so effective?
I probably missed some, so feel free to add any down below in the comments. These are the things I've noticed, consistent across religions
1. Accountability- organized religions hold you accountable for your actions- when you sin, you report it to somebody
2. Rules, strict rules- Organized religion clearly lays out a set of rules for believers to follow
3. Negative motivation- the consequences of not following the religion are often extreme
4. Community- A bunch of other people are following the same religion
5. Community- A focus on doing things for other people in, and out, of your religion
6. Forgiveness- If you mess up, you can still be a part of the religion
7. Ego- A sense that other people, and their way of doing things, is wrong (sometimes present)
Compare this to another program- say, a health program
1. Accountability- you can hold yourself accountable, but usually it isn't a requirement
2. Rules, strict rules- Yes, health programs have a set of strict rules
3. Negative motivation- it's understood that there could be negative consequences but the idea isn't ingrained into you in the same way. And the consequences aren't as severe (don't lose weight and try something else vs. burn in fire)
4. Community- Yes and no. Yes a lot of people are doing the same things, no there isn't so much community aspect
5. Community- No. The focus is on how you can help yourself
6. Forgiveness- The plan is always not to mess up, so when the inevitable happens, things fall apart
7. Ego- No, not a part of most health programs
Applying the elements of organized religion, what gives it its staying power, to the health program, you get
1. Accountability- friend, therapist, or parent who holds you accountable when you mess up
2. Already have those
3. Negative consequences- an emphasis that if you stop it (not if it doesn't work- there's a big difference) you will not lose the weight, will not be healthy, will continue to be depressed, will continue to not feel good, life will not improve, and things could spiral downhill.
4. Community- Doing the program with friends, parents, or your therapist (maybe not the last one)
5. Community- Doing the program, to lose weight, yes, but also because you want to be healthy enough so you can celebrate with friends and make friends happy and take care of others if they are sick
6. Forgiveness- If I miss this day of the program or break this rule, I have to do X or I can't do X or I have to write down what I can do in the future to avoid it, or both
7. Ego- Being open minded but not allowing other people's way to influence you because you know your way and it isn't theirs (sometimes)
That seems like a more effective health program. "I don't want to do it" but I'm obligated to so I can better other people's lives. My way is the right way- If I do this it will work. If I don't do this I will let myself and others down (a combo of the communities). Even if I fail I can still follow the program so I can't use that as an excuse. If I DON'T do this I'm screwed, so I better do it.
Time for a little experiment
I think the only logical thing to do is to follow a system, as religious people do, just not with all the religiousy stuff
So here is what I am suggesting: Create your own religion (or system if you don't want to call it a religion)
You will need:
-Pens/pencils
-paper
-ideas
You could focus on something specific like say a health program (I used health program as an example but a lot of them are complete bullshit so don't follow it without a doctor and dietician's advice)
Or more general, like how you approach life
You could do one for each
1. The core values
Your religion needs core values. Five seems like a good number. Five core values as the base
I'll use mine as an example:
1. follow through
2. engaging with the world
3. expressing myself
4. Being happy and emotionally stable
5. Helping others
Religion does tend to be a little complex but I'm not sure that's always beneficial. So I simplified mine
follow through= "e"nough (I'm tired of things not changing, if I follow this system things will change because this system WILL work for me even if it doesn't for other people
engaging with the world= explore (getting out into the world)
expressing myself= express (being true to myself)
being happy and emotionally stable= enjoy (as in- I enjoy life)
Helping others= enrich (as in, I enrich other people's lives)
This is more of a life system. For a more specific system (like the health one) the values could be follow through, strength, listening to your body, nourishment for instance.
2. Incorporating religious staying power
These seven things
1. Accountability- Explain your "religion" to somebody and make sure they'll hold you accountable if they observe you messing up
2. Strict rules- Write down rules that fall in line with your values (but not just yet, there's another important element to this whole thing that I haven't touched on)
3. Negative motivation- part of your "religion" needs to really hammer into you what could happen if you don't follow it. Pick the worst case scenario so you are constantly motivated to follow the "religion"
4. Community- You could encourage your friends or family to create their own, but they probably won't. Instead I would advise adding things into your own "religion" that have a community around them already
5. Community- Some part of your religion should probably be about helping self or others. That seems like a good recipe for success so if you don't want to do something to help YOU, you'll still do it (more on that in a minute)
6. Forgiveness- Your religion needs to have clear, set guidelines for what happens if you do not follow it
7. Ego- You have to really believe in your power to change your own life and that because you made this and you're amazing, it will work
You need a book
Every established religion has a book (I think- my knowledge of religion is lacking). You need one too.
Your book could contain examples of times you overcame huge obstacles to achieve something you wanted to. Stories or quotes you like. Something.
It's a work in progress. Eventually it will be polished and perfected
The book should also contain information about the values, rules, and consequences. For this to be effective these cannot be removed only added to, so I suggest using sharpie- the most permanent writing utensil- for this part. And put A LOT of thought into this.
You really shouldn't cross out anything. What you write is what you write now or 100 days from now. You can add but not subtract. And don't start a new book.
No religion is perfect- yours won't be either.
It's not a requirement but a nice notebook might be good for something like this. A 99 cents store one doesn't have the same feeling
The thing I haven't touched on yet regarding strict rules
Religions have, and you need, two other things to be successful. Consistency and frequency
For instance, I have Social anxiety. Which is why, for me, explore is such an important part. But if my goal is to explore once a week I don't get used to doing that. And if I explore the same place over and over I'm not stepping outside of my comfort zone and that defeats the purpose of having the value.
So for me, my rule is explore everyday someplace I haven't been before. Not 100% sure about the consequence yet though.
The idea of the values is to not do things that go against them. The idea of rules is to follow them. They need to be followed regularly. Think of them as a mixture of rules and goals (or grules)
The grules dictate what you will do when. If there are any exceptions they need to be clarified AHEAD of time. Situations that come up that might interfere with you following your grules. Otherwise you can grant yourself exceptions right and left
Make sure you think of anything, because the whole idea of this is you won't grant exceptions. All exceptions are predetermined.
My exceptions would be with exploring- I don't need to when I'm sick. Or on a holiday
As soon as you start not following this, you're heading down a slippery slope
Things you can add that have community
This needs a little bit of clarification. You're creating your own religion, why not use what's already out there as influence
Also, religion is a very interesting topic
So do some reading on religion and religious customs. And if you like one of them, add it. You don't need to follow the whole religion (followers would disagree)
<Picture barely fits, but it's been a while and I felt this post needed another picture>
The advantage to this is that there's a community of people who do follow this. And while you won't exactly be welcomed into said community following just one rule of your choosing, you can google tips and tricks to help you stay on track with this particular element of your religion
Might be getting a little off topic, but I've always thought this is the best implementation of religion. I agree with these beliefs in these religions so I'll follow them, not I'll follow this religion even though I don't believe in all the beliefs and force them on myself.
But I know it's more complicated then that.
The principles behind this are actually very sound. If you have one book, one set of teachings that guides you in life that initially you read but over time really becomes ingrained in you written by you during a time when you can think clearly and are not emotionally unstable and you follow it for many many years you'll become what you value and the person you want to be. But you have to continue. And this next section will explore obstacles to doing so.
<Another picture. How do you like that algorithm?>
Don't like being told what to do
But it's you telling you what to do, just like you do... in every situation constantly throughout life. I've heard people argue that they don't want to join a religion because they feel religion is oppressive and following someone's wishes. But in this case, that someone is you.
I Read Mytakes, don't do what's in the MyTake, forget all about the MyTake
If this doesn't interest you, so be it. But if it does, consider screenshotting it so you don't forget, because otherwise you most definitely will (I'm not that memorable)
The advice still comes from a random on the internet
That's true and I won't promise it will work. But where's the harm in trying it?
It feels weird, and awkward, and silly
Really, this isn't much different from what a lot of other people do. I value X so I do X and feel bad when I don't do X. Its just written down and more tangible. If it feels better to call it a system be my guest. I wouldn't call it anything particular, it isn't important what it is- the content is what is important.
I don't have a notebook
Go to amazon
What if somebody sees it
Why I don't suggest titling it "Your name+ religion"
If you want to lock it they make mini locks. If somebody really wanted to get in (like an annoying sibling) the ones with three wheels are useless, so maybe try a lock and a key.
Amazon sells them
Hole punch through all the pages, thread the lock through and lock it. (you could use scissors but hole punch- or a drill- looks nicer)
I already follow a religion
Then yours can just be a system based on what works for you. A system you follow that fits into the religion
Summary:
Religion works for a lot of people so why not try making your own by implementing elements of religions and following the steps above. Or call it a system if you prefer.
Disclaimer:
Religion is a sensitive topic
... may be a bit of an understatement
If this were more about religion I wouldn't put a disclaimer because I believe all subjects can be talked about. But I'm not trying and don't want to provoke anybody as this was more of a self help sort of post.
My post was not trying to minimize religion. I look at it in a very logical and far less spiritual way, because I am not religious. I have no problem with religious people. If it betters your life and doesn't worsen others', why not?
My "religion"
On second thought that feels a bit weird so I'll just call it a system from here on out
I kind of started to give examples above but then I got sidetracked. I wanted to give a concrete example of what I said in this post, in action.
Here is the system I came up with. If you want to follow it, be my guest. But it would probably be better to create your own
My system is built on five values which I mentioned above. They all begin with "e" so it's "E"asy to remember. (aha... no, ok then)
Enough- Why I want to follow this system, I'm tired of the way things are now
Explore- Engaging and interacting with the world
Express- wear clothes I want to wear, dress and groom in a way that suits me and engage in hobbies and activities that give a strong sense of self
Enjoy- Be happy and do things that make me happy (eating well and taking care of self would be under this, that all ties in)
Enrich- Better other people's lives
Each thing is ordered. I won't follow the system if I don't see the point and if I don't follow it I'll probably isolate and won't do any exploring. So each week I have to remind myself why I'm doing this system. I have to write out how each of the values can help me achieve what I want in life.
AND
If I don't follow one of my values I write out each of the values, which one I didn't follow, why I didn't follow it, what I can do to make sure it is followed next time and what my life will look like if I give up on this system (worst case scenario what my life will look like)
That's why "e"nough is first
explore is second because it takes the most willpower on my part and the thing I'm least likely to do- as such, it should be a priority
Express is third because it's hard to be happy when you don't have a strong sense of self
Enjoy is fourth because if I'm not happy how am I going to make other people happy
Enrich is fifth because it is important and non-optional but won't happen without these other values first being respected
The rules I have in place for each value
Enough- Each week, write down how my values will help me achieve what I want, and how lack of them will push me further away
Explore- Go out somewhere new every day (new building, or even a new train line (but not a different train, that doesn't count)
Express- Be true to myself and engage in a hobby or craft (so the measurable part is whether or not I engaged in a hobby or craft)
Enjoy- Try three relaxation techniques each day and employ them in my daily life at least once. Eat well and do all the basic stuff to nourish and enrich the body
Enrich- Help people AS LONG AS doing so doesn't go against my other values. Needing time by myself is a valid reason to not help people. Unless doing that will interfere with them doing the things that I value (if that makes any sense at all)
I may add more but for now but that's about it
The consequences if I do not follow through
If I don't follow through one day on a value I have to go back to step number 1 one day but in addition have to state why I did not follow the value and add a rule to help me follow it in the future. I have to emphasize the bad things that will happen if I don't follow my system.
Since the consequence is step 1 if I don't follow step one after I don't follow a value I do double time for the other values. It doesn't keep doubling but it hangs over my head until I do it.
If I just forget step 1 but follow all other values, no consequence
How I'm applying what I mentioned to my system
Accountability- holding myself accountable by writing about it here. Feel free to follow up with me to help me do so if you would like
Strict rules- I have strict rules
Negative motivation- I am constantly aware of the negative consequences
Community- Haven't quite figured it out yet
Community- I try to benefit other people. So if I don't want to socialize because I'm anxious I socialize to benefit them
Forgiveness- I didn't screw up, I just have to reassess if I break from my system
Ego- Tell myself again and again this is a good system and it will work
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and got something out of it. It's a long one I know. My next post will be shorter and about a completely different issue
Since you did read through it, quick question
Without counting (not that you would anyways) how many times did I say "religion"
Whoever guesses correctly gets an honorable mention in my next post. But it's fun more then anything.
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Nice Mytake.