I'm digging into emotional health and watch lots of TEDs in addition to reading. I found this helpful and hope you do as well as I know some people struggle through holidays, breakups and such. It will take time to watch these videos, I've summarized the key points. But you can't just read it, you have to do work to change.
What you practice grows stronger!
It makes sense doesn't it. I know for me, sometimes I want to go over and over why something happened, what went wrong, how can I change, etc.. Some of this is good. But it can be further conditioning and reinforcement. At some point, have to move forward. Better to clear ones mind, focus on kindness. What you practice conditions and grows stronger...
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you (Bible, Philippians 4:8)
A fun exercise would be to do what this Dr. says... spend 10 minutes and focus on compassion, for yourself, for someone else. It is natural medicine in your own body you release. Your body makes the drugs you need, you just need to do the right things to trigger them!
Heal your receptor fields in your brain so you aren't as easily triggered by negative emotions. I haven't figured this one out yet, but suffice it to say, you are gonna react emotionally at times. This technique helps you to reduce the reaction and get control of your response.
And this is why...because as relationships mature, you are going to operate out of your stored emotion which is much faster than our thinking logical mind. That can mean trouble...fights, fight or flight, or freeze so easily.. So, best to clean up what you can...
Lastly, that which you believe in is what you become. It's sort of your vision of yourself.
This may be why what Jesus said is in essence, so essential. John 11:25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die". Belief is powerful!