Leaving an abusive relationship usually isn’t as simple. Many people experiencing intimate partner violence realistically fear that their abusive partners' actions will become more violent and even lethal if they attempt to leave.
The abuser may have threatened to kill them or hurt their child, family member or pet if they leave.
Emotional attachment, known as a trauma bond, develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement.
When we are first starting a relationship, we can build that relationship on openness, respect and honesty.
A trauma bond usually involves a victim and a perpetrator in a uni-directional relationship wherein the victim forms an emotional bond with the perpetrator.
Signs and Symptoms
- An abuse victim covers up or makes excuses to others for an abuser's behavior.
- An abuse victim lies to friends or family about the abuse.
- A victim doesn't feel comfortable with or able to leave the abusive situation.
- An abuse victim thinks the abuse is their fault.
Healing from trauma is not a simple task to check off on a to-do list. Rather, healing from trauma is a process that happens over time and with patience and great care.
You have to unravel your past and where it all started. This type of healing takes specialized, trauma-informed care from a therapist who understands the complexities of trauma responses.
A therapist can help you work through your experience and address your emotional attachment with your abuser without shame or judgment.
Good luck.
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