Christianity & Me

...And so its come to this...
...And so it's come to this...

I don't want to associate with religion, but I don't have a choice

So, my parents raised me in Christianity, and I'm still living with them. They're a little strict, in my opinion. They're always talking about how un-Christian-like other people are being, even if they're family members. They don't believe in having a little fun, and they state that nothing should be said unless it's about God.

They monitor everything so heavily that I can't watch tv, can't play a game, can't even go to the mall without them lecturing me about "God this" and "God that". The more they tell me "this is what it means to be a Christian", the more I hate it.

They have always treated me like something shameful whenever I question what they do or whenever I don't agree. I respect what they believe, but they don't respect my opinion.

So then, why I'm still associated with this?

Well, I'm trapped in their house as I am not old enough to take care of myself, and even if I were, I don't have a job, and they won't let me have one. (But, this is aside from the point and I apologize for rambling.) While I don't agree with what they tell me, I do believe that there is a God, and it is the one in the Bible.

I just don't have the desire to search for my own reason to be a "true Christian" because of all the emotional trauma I have endured on the matter from my parents.

Where do I stand?

I have nothing against Christians, nor do I care what you believe. It doesn't bother me, whatever your religion is. I don't try to beat people over the head for thinking differently, unlike several people I know.

I won't follow anything people try to form me to. And I choose not to accept my parent's teachings because

  • I don't agree with it
  • I can't give my whole heart

I don't do things half-hearted, so I can't pretend that I'm a Christian. I don't like saying that I'm not, but following what appears to be the actual teachings of the Bible--it makes me feel sick to the stomach, and I don't like it.

Right now, I'm just trying to see what feels right, but nothing satisfies me in any area of religion. I feel best when I don't think about it. It makes me feel more comfortable to not associate myself with any group. It's really stressful and makes me feel sick no matter what religion I'm addressing.

According to the Bible, God hates people who are "luke-warm"

I suppose I'd qualify as a luke-warm person, then. I know the Bible's teachings, yet I don't accept Christianity because of the things I've felt.

What has caused me to decide this? Well, I was often punished when

  • I didn't agree with what my parents said
  • I voiced that it felt weird to be in church
  • I didn't scream prayers in church
  • I resented reading the Bible
  • I didn't participate in answering "just for fun" Bible questions
  • I didn't enjoy celebrating Bible holidays
  • I was punished in the usual ways.

And punishments consisted of being spanked, having things taken from me, not being allowed to do things I like, being put in the corner, being given several chores, being lectured, and other usual punishments. None were/are forms of abuse, even though it felt/feels like it, as often as they punish me for the slightest things.

These aren't excuses, but they're my reasons as to why I can't bring myself to try Christianity again, or any other religion, for that matter.

Christianity & Me
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Most Helpful Girl

  • SpiderManFan2002

    This was a pretty interesting read.

    I come from a religious family too, though I am a Muslim and come from a Muslim family, not a Christian one.

    My parents were never really that strict, we followed Islamic rules i. e. no eating pork, no alcohol etc, but they never really forced Islam upon me or my brother if that makes sense.

    And I knew people of various religions at school, including Christianity who share an experience with their religion similar to my own experience.

    I think the really strict type of religious people, like your parents for example, exist in all religious communities- not just the Christian community. You'll get Muslims, Jewish people, Hindus, Sikhs, just like your parents. I don't think that's right though, I mean just sticking to Christianity because that's what your MyTake is about, I haven't read the Bible, but what I have seen of it (basically what I learned in Religious Education when the topic was Christianity) isn't how you described to be honest.

    But I guess for people with a similar experience to yours, it would be hard to see the positive side of religion, given all the hurting physical and emotional you've gone through, in the name of religion- so while I do disagree with you, I completely respect and understand your viewpoints, given your experiences.

    I've found, when it comes to religious families if the parents are too strict, they end up pushing the child away from their religion, whereas if the parents are not that strict but do teach their children about religion in a way which isn't oppressive or forceful as the kid becomes older, they will actually look more into the religion themselves.

    That's been my experience with Islam, and some of my other religious friends' experiences too.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I believe oppression in the name of religion, isn't what the religion actually teaches, but I think why people do it is because they lack faith in the first place. See deep down, they're scared and insecure, that if they're not strict enough their kid may leave the religion, and join another, or convert to atheism or something- so they be as strict as they can to enforce their religion into the kid.

      But if they had faith in the first place, they'd have faith that if they just lived a life according to their religion, and not just preaching stuff from their holybook but instead showing it through their actions and how they live their life, and teach their kid about their religion in a kind non-forceful way, their kid has a much bigger chance of keeping their faith.

      And if not? Well at the end of the day, you cannot force religion upon anyone. If your kid doesn't believe your kid doesn't believe, that doesn't make them any less of your kid- and it's perfectly valid to feel upset, but it is not valid to harm your kid in the name of your religion, or disown them. Your child is still your child. Perhaps you could pray for them to come back to your religion somehow, but put it this way, your child won't believe if you force religion upon them, they'll just act like they believe but fear instead. So if your kid doesn't believe your kid doesn't believe, they're their own person at the end of the day, and they're still your kid.

    • Only Allah (God) can judge anyone- is my belief. Humans can't judge each other we've all sinned, nobody's perfect.

      Wow I really went babbling on didn't I lol? Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience, though I am sorry it's been that way for you. Nobody should be subjected to what you described.

      If you ever wanna talk my inbox is open.

      Also, I do think a good positive Christian to talk to about this would be @jennifer_bloom if you wanted to, I read some of her posts sometimes they're about Christianity and are pretty positive, her perspective I always find quite interesting, and she seems like a nice person from what I've seen of her. Maybe you just need some positive examples of Christians/religious people in general in order to heal the pain you've faced due to religion, but that's only if you want to of course, I'm not saying "you must do this" it's just a suggestion. :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • t-8900
    I have found that when things were forced on me I actively sought to escape them. When I finally had my time to reflect I made my own decisions. Sometimes I gravitated on my own towards these things and other times I didn't. The power of choice should be your's. There are consequences to everyone's actions but they need to have those choices. However they need to come to terms with the consequences and accept them as well. Such is the case in the example of Adam & Eve. You are very young and you have not fully developed or experienced a lot of life outside. It was't until 22 that I started to become philosophical and get some perspective. And It wasn't until just this year at 30 that I believe I've fully matured on the spiritual plain.

    I'm Agnostic myself but I never stop asking questions, pondering, reflecting on things, meditating, and researching. I believe to come to peace and remove conflict from within they need these things. There are times that I've considered converting to Islam or Orthodox Greek Christianity or embracing Taoism. One day I might embrace one of these things, I cannot say for sure. The path is not always clear and there are aspects of each religion I agree with based on current events, society, and the ever changing trends. If I embrace one of these religions I'm not sure I'd be doing it out of a belief in what it teaches so much as I think it necessary to improve society at large as well as create discipline and structure that we are lacking in the world today. This can in turn bring inner peace.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Nephilim000
    As a Christian I have found that many Christians behave in many different ways. Some of these I love and have adopted. And some of them make me ashamed to share the name Christian. But I am a fan of God and will remain so. An imam once said life is meant for us to do good for the one who is good and I can get behind that. A saint once said preach the gospel at all times but use words as a last resort. I can get behind that too. In general I feel that only the brainless try to force things on others. The rest are busy doing it. Personally I try not to discuss religion unless it is asked of me. But when that happens I'm honest and I don't embellish
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • iambae
    Here's my observations

    Have you ever asked God his opinion? If you are following God; Jesus said we must 1st deny ourselves.

    I bring this up because a disciple is a discipline one, who will forever be denying their flesh, their own wants and desires to fulfill God's.

    That does not seem like the life you want though.

    If it's this bad at home according to you just pack a bag and leave the torment or join the military. Otherwise you can stand the rain.
  • Browneye57
    Ah, a true rebel at heart.
    You sound like a recalcitrant teenager. And immature brat.
    • Thanks. I didn't know that. Oh wait, yeah, I did.
      But, no. Not an immature brat. Just someone who's tired of being manipulated to believe and follow things.

    • Browneye57

      Unfortunately, you are clearly clueless. Oh well.

    • Well, if you don't explain, how am I supposed to understand what you believe I should?

    • Show All
  • Gedaria
    Sadly it is not for everyone. But I don't where with forcing people to believe. But this is where hell and purgatory came in to frighten people to stay with the church. The whole concept is not in the Bible. In Ecclesiastes a book bin the Bible that people don't suffer. It's like a deep sleep ,...
  • blutwolfe
    I think that's how most people raised religiously feel like, it was shoved down their throats and they want to breathe and want nothing with it again.
  • Burn2fly
    I am a Muslim. As you said, there are living Muslims. In my opinion. No compulsion in religion, this I believe 😊
  • thedevilsrip
    Honestly I relate to this a lot in my family christianity was a big thing when my grandfather was around I came out that I was atheist and he practically disowned me he said I was a devil worshiper and I was going straight to hell and I would find Bible's put in strange places in my room after he died boom it was like a whole new world I wasn't constantly being told I was a devil's advocate and such so now I I go on and I can actually enjoy life it just gets weird with dating when they're hard core christians and don't know I'm atheist
  • osawudiame