I haven't had many friends throughout my life. I had two cousins whom I used to hang out with, and we had some adventurous days together when we were young. We were poor back then, so we formed a group and would roam the streets, stealing food and cash from wealthy stores. We did it for fun, but I was always scared, and my heart would race whenever we were about to do something bad, as if God didn't want me to do it. And whenever we did, we would always get into trouble, repent, but then do it again. We were mischievous. I would avoid it, but my cousins would force me to join. As we grew older, we stopped engaging in such activities and realized they were wrong. Since then, I haven't been involved in any theft or similar actions. My cousins got married and started their own families. They no longer face insults and abuse from their parents. My father has always been rude since my childhood, and I grew up in his presence. I couldn't even finish university. After returning from military service, I went back to him, but I decided not to go there anymore because I was tired of his insults. Now, I have no friends, no companions. I am all alone. My cousins got married, and I am unemployed and idle. I'm trying to get my life in order, but I can't succeed. Despite that, I still receive insults from my father, and I have nothing to do. My biggest mistake was not leaving my father's side when I was young, and I regret it. No matter how much I try to get my life in order, I can't succeed. Sometimes, due to my failures and the insults, I even consider suicide. God hasn't answered any of my prayers since I turned 15. Before that, every time I prayed, it would be answered. Now I have no one, and God doesn't help me. I think about what mistake I made that caused God to stop helping me. My life has been a mess since I turned 15.
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