I cope with grief by wishing for death any advice?

[Cherrylicious]

Yes I know the title is very controversial but let me start off by explaining that I recently lost my mom 3 years ago at the age of 52 from pancreatic cancer and she was all that I had and I had a very close relationship with her and she was everything to me and I still cry myself to sleep every night thinking about her and even spend my afternoon hours crying thinking about her and it is so hard because I know no other way to grieve other than praying to God every night that he one day takes my life so that I could be in heaven with my mother because I don't feel strong emotionally or mentally to go through this and the pain hurts really bad and I really miss her and I even have dreams of her every single night and this is a never ending cycle for me and the pain is unbearable and I cannot take it anymore and I feel that the only thing that will take my pain away, is death because once you die you feel no emotional or physical pain and you are in the spirit realm with your deceased loved ones that have passed on before you and I am hoping that God fulfills my wish one day but I feel that is the only accomplishment that will fulfill my desires just to see her again in heaven and be with her as that is all I want and nothing else in life because ever since she died, my life has changed for the worst and nothing is the same without her and I miss her dearly and I cannot bear the thought of living another year and moment without her. So if you have any other helpful advice other than therapy and spending time with family and friends which doesn't help much, I appreciate other honest opinions thanks in advance.

[DJB72]

I lost my wife of 21 years in October. I lost my dad in 1999 to brain cancer, my brother in a road accident in 1985.

All I can tell you is that you learn to live despite the pain. It never leaves, but you can live with it. You're stronger than you think you are.

[hotman5]

im so sorry for ur loss , but please dont wish deat on urself i know its hard to lose someone u love dearly but please hold on to life and try to take care of ur mental health and urself i know its hard but u have to let her go she's with God now

[BetaBucks]

Go outside every day. Take walks every day. Stay active. Sunlight, fresh air and exercise are some of the core needs of our species. If you aren't doing that, your odds of recovering from your grief are low. Set small goals, and work your way up.

[jshm2]

Don't be such a drama queen. Grief is not something to lose yourself in. It's your admission that events have impact.

People you lose does not mean you give up. It means you need to try harder to make an impact.

[ChiTown33]

Your mom wouldn't want you feeling this way.

[DerekC321]

I know how you feel, my father had a stroke recently and is only a child now.

[slatyb]

Get counseling.