Search Results: he was the one who broke up with me

Partnerships, relationships, and friendships all derive on making things work and cooperation with eachother to finding solutions together which make a bond stronger. So if both people are always willing to cooperate with eachother and willing to help make things work no matter what happens, then breakups just shouldn't happen.
However it seems like as soon as one side refuses to cooperate and communicate, they just pull the plug on the relationship and it all just ends despite them being with someone who is always willing to listen communicate and cooperate.
But yeah basically what I'm saying is i think breakups never really Absolutely have to happen if the partner is honestly good. What does need to happen is better cooperation understanding and communication from both.
It may be just because I'm just a guy that never really sees the need to break apart good things that honestly aren't broken. Until something substantially bad happends. Like if your partner just treated you like shit in every way then yeah i could see people not being willing to try anymore for a person like that then.

But what do you think? Can't most breakups be avoided?

I went through this about 10 years ago. My then 25 year old girlfriend made more than me when I was 32. But at the time I was pursuing a dream (I was a professional athlete) and I my time was consumed with training. I was no dead beat but I just had a different focus at the time.

I was doing freelance work just to pay the bills and I was struggling. She even offered me money at one time (which extremely kind of her) but it I turned it down out of pride and went further in debt.

Anyway the insecurity was on my side when it can to this (also contributed to our break up). She didn’t care but I did. It had a lot to with being raised to “be a man” when it came to being a breadwinner.

Nowadays I make a lot more money given I’m retired from my sport and have full focus on my career. But I am also a lot more “boring” now since I’m no longer the free wheeling adventurer I once was.

But money is a touchy issue. Form a evolutionary perspective I really do believe most women still subconsciously expect a man to provide for them even it’s unnecessary or impractical. They might get into short term flings with guys who offer other benefits (looks, excitement, adventurer, personality, etc) but when it comes to long term commitments they have a much higher bar on this

I also believe when a woman makes more money then her boyfriend/husband she’s more prone to cheating. Especially if she is comparable to him when it comes to looks (maybe she will stay loyal if she’s physically unattractive compared to him)

In fact I believe it’s unfairly more socially “acceptable” for a woman to do this given the guy is considered a “chump” if he is financial dependent on her. More more acceptable then vice versa.

I have a divorced uncle who worked a low paying his entire life and was supported by his (comparably) rich wife. She was no multi millionaire but she earned a lot more than him.

She ended up cheating on him the entire marriage. He tolerated it because they had kids and he needed support.

It would be too soon if I ran into most women I was romantically linked to in the past. This includes the ones who broke up with me.

I might have been upset about it at the time. But now I look back I’m glad they are long gone. Most of them had no respect for me anyway and there is no replacement for respect. Good riddens.

But there is one in particular that haunted me for a very long time. She broke up with me but I actually wanted her to at the time. I deeply regret how I handled that. It was 10 years ago now and I’ve just haven’t met anyone else like her since then. She was something very special.

"Finding My Voice"

I wake up every morning, but the world is still so loud.

I see their eyes are staring; I see their heads in clouds.

They whisper when they see me like I’m less than who I am.

But they don’t know the silence, and they don’t understand

I longed to hear the laughter, but it fades before it starts.

The voices that they mock me with, they tear apart my heart.

Silent tears fall from my eyes as I hide behind the quiet skies.

They don’t see the pain, don’t know the fight to be seen, to be heard, to feel alive.

Ooh, I’m more than my silence; I’m more than listening, but I’m drowning in the echoes of their shame.

I wish I could be spoken to; I wish they’d see my face and not the shadow of my sorrow or the emptiness at chase.

They smile, they laugh, they speak their truths, but they forget my soul.

Then I’m just like them inside, just trying to be whole.

I see them turn away from me; I feel the stare of scorn, but all I want is to be seen, to feel I’m not for

Silent tears fall from my eyes as I hide behind the quiet skies.

They don’t see the pain, don’t know the fight to be seen, to be heard, to feel alive.

Ooh, I’m more than my silence; I’m more than listening, but I’m drowning in the echoes of their shame.

In the quiet of my world, I hear nothing but the lies of people who don’t understand the love that I can’t disguise.

I’m reaching for connection, but my hands are pushed away; all I wanted was for someone to stay.

Silent tears fall from my eyes as I hide behind the quiet skies.

They don’t see the pain, don’t know the fight to be seen, to be heard, to feel alive.

Ooh, I’m more than my silence; I’m more than listening, but I’m drowning in the echoes of their shame.

So I’ll keep on walking though my heart may break, and maybe one day they’ll see me for my soul's sake.

In my silence, I’ll rise… I’ll find my own way, and maybe then they’ll hear what I couldn’t say.

Oooohhhhh