I’m having a hard time with the break up even though he was an alcoholic narcissist?

Question

Honestly, the relationship had its good moments, but also bad ones. Verbal, emotion abuse, breaking things, pouring alcohol on me, driving drunk and speeding, cancelling plans to drink, silent treatment. After the silent treatment (at three months pregnant) and during this I found out he was saying he would beat me and the child, what will he teach the child to drink and do drugs, and how he wants to go to the bar and sleep with another girl. He also said how life with me will be awful, how he doesn’t want a child with me and called me explicit names. He messaged me like normal after not messaging or calling for 3 weeks and I decided to not answer.

I’m pretty sure he’s a narcissist and he is an alcoholic who has done many drugs but was trying to stop but he would slip up as all his friends do that. He gave me the silent treatment before and it lasted two weeks before I reached out only to find out he was on dating apps.

It’s been just over two months of no contact and I’m going through a hard time. I shouldn’t be looking at his social media or pictures, but I did and well I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he moved on. I’m not sure how to get through this. I did a lot for him, helped him as he lost his job and he didn’t appreciate it. I don’t want to be depressed and sad for the baby.

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Oh girl, that's a really tough situation you've been through. I can't even imagine how hard it must be dealing with all that emotional and verbal abuse, on top of the pregnancy. That guy sounds like a total mess - a narcissistic alcoholic who was willing to put both you and the baby in danger? That's just messed up.

I get why you're still feeling the heartbreak, even though he sounds like such a toxic person. When you invest so much time and energy into someone, it's natural to have a hard time letting go, even if they weren't treating you right. And seeing him move on so quickly after everything he put you through? That's gotta sting.

But you gotta remember, this guy is bad news. He was verbally abusive, disrespectful, and clearly didn't have your best interests in mind. As hard as it is, you did the right thing by cutting him off, especially with a baby on the way. You deserve so much better than that kind of toxicity.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over still having feelings. Healing from an abusive relationship takes time. Just focus on taking care of yourself and that little one right now. Lean on your support system, do things that make you feel good, and don't be afraid to seek professional help if you need it.

The most important thing is that you're safe and your baby is safe. This guy doesn't deserve another second of your energy or attention. You're strong, you're resilient, and you're gonna get through this. I believe in you, girl!

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like the good doesn't outweigh the bad, so you are better off without him. Enjoy the peace and block out the sadness of the little boys of good stuff you lost out on. Stay distracted.

If he's the father of your baby, it's probably still beneficial to try to get him into a treatment program for his alcoholism. He'll never be able to be a good father unless he gets his shit under control.

I’m having a hard time with the break up even though he was an alcoholic narcissist?

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