Search Results: staying friends with ex

I'm hurting right now and very upset. My suspicious were confirmed just 2 days ago when my husband left his FB messenger open. It was messages between him and my SIL (sister-in-law). He admitted to her that he always loved his ex girlfriend Olivia from his much younger years. They met as 9 year-olds playmates, then dated for a short time in their Sophomore year of HS, she broke up the next year and met someone else.

The woman is married but still has him on his FB contact list as friends. He admitted to my SIL that he still loves her more than me. He loves me but I'm not really his first option. He would've wanted to have kids with her. He also said it was true what he once told me while drunk when we were just dating. Then this was the hurting part for me, the SIL asked if he would leave me if Olivia were to get divorced now and she reciprocated his feelings and he reply was a ''Yes, unfortunately I would leave (my name) but that'll never happen. I have to accept being in Olivia's forever friendzone''.

Flashback to the time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

We were drinking and while making love, he called me by her name. He literally said ''Oh Olivia, I love you... yeah''. Then tried to fix it right away when I got upset immediately. He called it a stupid drunken mistake and how we would never get drunk like that ever again and even reconfirmed me a bunch of times that he got over her already. I stupidly believed him.

Is this fair? We have a 7 year-old son and he's still obsessing over her? He never got over her and just got with me as second best.

My boyfriend of 4 years, relatively a good and loyal man. He has a group of friends since high school. Two of them got married (guy and a girl) but divorced. Anyways the girl texted him asking if he remembers a concert in which they all went to way back in high school to which he responded with yes I do remember. She said oh so and so didn’t remember you being there and he responded with I remember a lot of half naked girls dancing on stage and kass saying to me “did you get a chubb watching that” to which i said I lowkey did. I was immediately offended and heartbroken to why he would mention that memory to her and it was entirely inappropriate. I mentioned to him and he said I understand why you would be upset I’m sorry I was just remembering a memory and it was a long time ago we weren’t together and I said not the point it’s the fact that your mentioning this to your female friend and he said she’s my best friends ex wife and my bestfriend I don’t look at her that way. To which I stayed silent and he asked if this was “resolved” I said I don't know I’m bothered and that’s it. Am I overreacting?